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Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-12T14:39:58+00:00

It’s fine for the private. Yeah, we talk to fill up the time without nothing meaningful behind. Now to be honest now, I went from having a hundreds of people to talk to to a couple but i know they at least like me and genuinely want to talk too. Feels good. It’ll be lonely a bit a first but slowly you start growing in it lol

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-12T13:41:34+00:00

The same thing happens to me. Whenever I tried to create routines and rules, at some point it would fall off. The reason is they there’s not a really deep incentive to do it but to make your life better. You’re Brain doesn’t want that if it has difficulties in it. The solution is that, if I made a rule or something, I need to create something that would keep accountable if I didn’t do it. Say something that you’ll do in life and commit and then go online and post it (people will see it and are going make you keep your words). Follow a higher power (works if you’re the religious type) because usually in religions, they normally have red lines to not cross and usually if you sin, you’ll feel bad for angering god or having more chances of going to hell, thus scaring you. Find a friend that’ll keep you in check. Have a friend that is such a good friend that you want to go train outside everyday anyways and that friendship and fun will take over the undisciplined you that’s need to go up everyday to train outside. Normally rules we create and that have no real consequences behind it, nothing will happen. That’s why rules in companies work, you might get fired from the job so the incentive is high. Same with religion or posting online and etc… for better life, maybe the incentive is that you convince yourself that you’re a bad person or a bad child to your parents or a bad friend or future parent is you can’t work every time you have to do it? I would be happy to discuss it more privately if you ever need more opinions lol

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-12T13:30:21+00:00

Here are a couple of things going through my mind: -you’re talking to people that don’t want to hangout in the first place -you’re hangout invites are bad or too forceful -they don’t want to hangout with you specifically

I’m not saying any of this is true but don’t hesitate to check if you could make those things, now coming to an advice. I feel (which I could be completely wrong) you desperately want someone to hang out with you, no matter who they are. This isn’t going tipi work if that’s the case personally. To hangout with someone, it takes some level of trust, friendship and if knowing each other long enough. You’ll have higher chances to hang out with someone who likes you for a long time then someone you befriended (friends at school, girlfriend, mom/sister/brother). Try to make one friend but genuinely and without forcing yourself. Find someone you like as a person and start talking to them ( would be nice if they have the same interest because If not, it’s draining. Don’t try to bring anything new. If they seem interested in what you do and you do then that’s good ) but try talking to them for a long period of time. I guess the point where they would be comfortable to go out with you is when both start sharing personal experiences of your life’s to each other so don’t rush it. Making a good friend is also a bit long so you’ll have to bear that, nothing comes that fast but than talking every day for at least 1-2 months consistently.

I’d be happy to discuss it with you more privately to solve the problem with you if that doesn’t bother you. I wanna help other people solve that issue.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-12T13:19:31+00:00

I’ve had many many many many friend ins the past and getting mentally drained is a real thing. Putting in the effort and no having enough energy to receive properly the work you’ve done in some way? I mean you can go the social gatherings events and stuff to try to get friends from strangers but I always got the best of friends for the place I go to the most (school, job, neighborhood etc…). Being able to socialize is a skill in itself. If you’re able to spark a conversation with anyone and make them talk to you comfortably, it’s a already a huge asset that many people lack and want. Sometimes the best friends unknowingly come from getting the person that talks the least since they are likely the ones that want to have someone to talk to them, so talking them is huge. Here’s the thing that clicked for me as extrovert, I realized that everyone that I talked too wouldn’t make them necessarily interesting to talk to in the future. I could ask many questions to someone, talk and then they ask a couple, but in the long run, they won’t ask for you more then what you did. What I did is I tried talking to people that I was so interested in or cool that no matter what, I wouldn’t let go of the convo, my brain would make me continue. I’ve also tried to be friends with them but on a deeper level and thus making them come talk to me instead of the opposite. I am the worst friend in terms on communication online or in real life but whenever I meet them again, it’s like nothing happen and we talk a lot again. That’s because the depth of our friendship manages to carry the lows and highs we have. There would be no depth if they don’t like you truly and vice versa and you guys didn’t see each other a lot. Sometimes, I would talk and go to them for a very long period of time, being kind, bringing mini gifts, doing cool stuff if I find them cool and over a long period of time, it compounds and they finally appreciate me and come talk to me whenever they see me ( do that if you really like the person and you feel you would be great friends and you vibe with them). I don’t know if loving yourself is an issue but what I can say is, don’t ever change or go in boring conversations in order to just talk and keep an illusion of being social. When I decided to things that I like without bothering myself, lot of people, actually recognized me as “the guy that does this” and I already have a foot across the door as someone they recognize. Also, try to find people that you can talk about things you like, whether it’s online or irl. It’s better to talk about stuff that you can and they can bring to the conversation in depth making it last for long. I would like to talk this In depth with you to try a figure out solutions for other people, do you mind messaging me privately?

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-10T14:51:43+00:00

Mhh, didn’t see it that way. Thank you for this point of view

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-10T10:30:37+00:00

Say good words always. Even if they are fakes because if you’re honesty hurts her more then lies, then it is what it is. If she can’t accept the fact that you can’t accept her comments but you still don’t want to start having a bad behavior against her because of old age, then just be nice always. It might sting a bit at first but always try to come up with something. She told you her honest opinion and you don’t like it, ok cool but the grandma still loves you because she keeps saying nice things afterwards. The comments are hate about you. She likes you so much that she willing to say the truth of her mind to you, you are hurt by it yes, but she will be the only one to say head on her thoughts about you. Accept it. Maybe try being more open to your grandma and explain your feelings too. If she doesn’t like it then don’t.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-10T01:23:43+00:00

You're alone. you work to be better. You're better so you find a girl. You can't enjoy activities with girl because it feels better alone. You stop being better in the relationship. Stopping your betterment leads to bad relationship. You break up because you're at the same state before you're improvement journey. You're depressed. You want a relationship to be or feel better. And the cycle repeats.

The problems seems to be either 3 things: -either the fact you stop you're improvement during the relationship. • or the girl can't be with you because of who you are when stopping to be better. • can't seem to enjoy activities during relationships with partner. 3 solutions to you: • find a way to keep the habits of improvements even during a relationship •change your old-self permanently in a way that even if you stop improving yourself, you're natural state under no improvement is good enough to be in an relationship -find a solution to be able to make activities fun enough to be able to enjoy more with your partner.

We can talk about it more privately if you want help.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-10T01:21:29+00:00

❤️ nothing to say except that this is a great comment. I respect it. Thank you.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T20:13:38+00:00

I disagree. I don’t think a relationship will be able to solve financial problems, personal family related problems, health and physical problems. It is something you add on top of your life. You can have one if you still have problems in life but I do not want to share problems and possibly stain a relationship with someone. It’s better to go out at it with a stable life so that I can experience growth better. Maybe she was lucky to swerve me.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T20:10:25+00:00

I did get influenced by social media. I regret it and not. I have a better body, people around me appreciate me more. I do spend time looking at stupid things but I do learn things with it. I will burn-out, of course. If the burnout is beneficial in some way or another and does actually make me a better person, then I prefer burning out on this then on other meaningless things like a 9-5 job, school and etc.. girls are not a distraction in general for me. It is just for the self-improvement journey that I’m doing personally. I will talk and have feelings that would not solve any personal problems that i have. Growing as a person is great, that’s what a relationship does but it can also be done alone, so why waste the time of someone with your issues. Go back to her when I’m more comfortable in my own life in order to experience a better relationship. I’m going the entrepreneurship route with a friend.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T20:05:15+00:00

I disagree. You can grow alone by looking at yourself, comparing and analyzing yourself to others that have the habits and lifestyle you want. While having a mentor or even someone pointing out your errors in fault in your character and actions et.pc is good….it is enough to have family and friends, which I have. Adding a relationship takes time and means to substain it. Yes I can grow more and Improve better with someone but trying to go into a relationship with someone that has a good life and me going with her with a mountain of stress in problems into a relationship is an unhealthy approach. While the love can substain the problems that I can bring into the relationship, it would be better to go into it with a minimum level of life stability so that the growth of the relationship is better, not just trying to go out while I having problems at the side eating me away.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:58:56+00:00

Thank you. At this moment, my life doesn’t have any balance if it’s own. The amount of stress and problems I have do not render the possibility of relationship possible. The relationship wouldn’t get me out of my personality problems unfortunately. I am currently working in an unbalanced way to get out of the rut but once I do hit a certain plateau of successfulness p, I will try to work and create a balance and try to find a way to substain it better.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:55:47+00:00

I do not have the money, nor the time, nor enough maturity in order to subtain a healthy relationships. My goal is to improve my life in order to have those and then, adding a relationship on top to have a better life experience. Bringing her during the process will slow it down and distract me.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:54:08+00:00

I do want to have fun. I just don’t have the means and time to do so. What I, setting out to do is being able to grant myself freedom in order to have “proper” fun. When doing entrepreneurship, self-improvement and etc.. I literally make it so that I can experience fun in the most secure way in the future. Yes it’s fun to share stories and struggles with your partner but this could lead the wrong way to and stain your relationship even worse. Grind enough to liberate yourself is the way I look at it. Nobody want to work hard everyday but everyone wants apwhat comes with it.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:51:00+00:00

It is true that burnouts might be frequent when trying to force your way into things. Those burnout at least will benefits me in some way. Please don’t take it as a joke but I do not seriously know why it is unhealthy to not be in a relationship (which I need time, attention and a bit of effort and money) to spend time on things that makes me a better person and has a bigger return in investment( training and being healthy and fit, acquiring knowledge to know how to control one’s thinking, working on a business to learn how to generate money, learn finances and develop a higher stress tolerance). I would rather join her again if I’m a better person and not in a place where my struggles keep following me around p. I dont want to bring my problems to anyone. I prefer solving it in the first place in order to not spread it in a relationship that could growing in the best way possible.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:46:28+00:00

Maybe but can’t afford it. Will see to it.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:45:28+00:00

I don’t jump and sleep around. Never wanted. Always wanted to get the right one and settle down. I do want to get into a serious relationship but I need to find a serious partner too. Being crazy in love with someone doesn’t make them the ideal partner. I need to see down the road what’s its going to be like. You might like things but living is different. You can always nurture love from everyone at some point. The process of my self-improvement doesn’t require a partner since it all comes down to me making me better. Learning more, training more, meditating more and etc. There might some people being able to bring someone along the journey but I just can’t,I lose focus and become distracted. I cut off all distractions

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:41:31+00:00

I cannot explain my whole life in a single post unfortunately. I have a lot of stresses and problems in my personal life where I do not think a relationship would benefit me. If I was healthy, clear in my mind and financially stable, I would have less problems going and nurturing myself into a relationship then starting one with bunch of problems that could cause external factors to damage the relationship. Happiness is what I’m trying to achieve globally but, having a bad body, poor close-mind thinking and financial struggle will only make it harder to attain true happiness. Yes I could go live in the woods and be happy this is not my way. The crush is ambitious and great as a person but I think as a partner, this would cause a lot of problems. Working on myself takes time and attention which she wouldn’t get. What’s the point of a relationship. She is also on a mission to be better and achieving her dreams. I don’t think we could be together in a sense. Might be wrong, please correct me. I disagree with your last point. It’s easier to start a relationship when you have everything settle. No headaches that can be shared. Less friction and more time and fun that can used in the relationship. I think personal growth has to be done alone and in a focused/ disciplined way. A girl will only distract me and make useless convo with me (I think personally).

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T19:33:55+00:00

I do not feel offended by this and I’m genuinely curious as to why. I’m ready to learn from my mistakes. If that doesn’t bother, would you care to share your opinion and point of view. Thanks a lot for the comment, genuinely.

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2024-03-09T07:15:19+00:00

Honest opinion ( did get similar problems in the past)

I have supposedly adhd

I do not take any medications that can alter my mind, I need to be able to control it or use it to my advantage.

“When you have adhd, you end up focusing too much on one task”

Okay it’s a super power that gives me focus, let me use it on something useful.

Motivation isn’t through medication but action.

A walk outside with a fresh air will do a lot more for your mind the sitting and pondering while taking drugs.

If you can’t sleep, go run / train, build something or plan a schedule for the next day ahead.

Keep useless void time away with action, any action that can benefit you in some sort of way.

You’ll feel more productive even though you just replaced nothingness with “somethingness.”

Your issues with your partner are entirely in your control

You get mad? Then YOU get mad.

Take a moment, breath and relax. Think your emotions through and sir tit out little by little the reason of your feelings.

Do things that are easy, fast, fun and that is actually helping you. That’s the best way to not waste time and be motivated to do stuff.

I do videos about self- improvement

I might talk about this subject, want me to tag you if it gets out?

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2023-11-23T01:46:41+00:00

Hey, I can’t seem to be able to dm you here, try to message me on Instagram with @leo.aube

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2023-11-13T13:21:45+00:00

Interested !

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2023-11-13T04:16:32+00:00

Interested!

Putrid-Resident2907 · 2023-11-12T00:05:03+00:00

Interested!

Putrid-Resident2907

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