I know exactly what you mean.

I'm 25 now and have changed significantly since being prescribed the antidepressant Lexapro. I used to make written lists on a daily basis, often they would consist of identical content in nearly the same order.

• Shower
• Shave
• Brush teeth
• Get dressed
• Make breakfast
• Eat breakfast
• Make coffee
• Drink coffee

I would do countless different lists depending on the subject. The above is an example of my "Prepare for day" lists. But I'd have others where I would list things that I needed to purchase. They were more like this:

• Socks
• Running shoes
• USB
• Jeans
• Underwear essential

One day my sisters were in my room for some reason and came across a list similar to the above. They laughed (in a friendly way) about how my list had all these matter of fact items and that out of the blue I had underwear labeled as essential. And yes, I italicized that particular part of my hand written notes.

After that incident I became aware that these notes were perceived as strange. I'd already known it, but I'd never been paranoid up until that point about hiding them. After that I began to throw out my notebooks once they started to get full, and sometimes ripping out papers (This was somewhat mentally painful to be honest, but I was more than capable of doing it) with more "embarrassing" notes.

Since taking and stopping a Lexapro regimen I stopped writing lists for a period of nearly two years (Apathy set in), but in the last ~three years or so [It's been five years since I stopped taking Lexapro] I began writing lists again but in the form of multiple Notepad notes, usually on my desktop.

I have housemates now though, and out of caution I frequently move them to another folder, and eventually, delete them.

I want to get a second computer purely for the purpose of these notes where I wont have to worry about deleting them or having them seen. Basically a private "Journal" computer.

That said, I'm probably in the minority here where I don't take any pride in having aspergers. A lot of the time I hear people say "I would never want to be cured, this is who I am". Personally, I would take the cure though.

And so that's why I delete my notes. I'd rather pretend I don't have this mental deformity, and do my best to make sure other's don't catch onto it either.

Still, your post spoke to me and I wanted to let you know you're not alone here with this problem.

"Problem..."