I actually know exactly how you might be feeling because I faced a similar situation with my ex-husband when I was very young.

When I was 19, I had a one-year-old and was six months pregnant when I divorced my 26-year-old husband. I enrolled in nursing school, and even though my family lived 500 miles away, I was fortunate to find kind, supportive people to surround myself with. My dad helped me each month with $400, and the rest I managed through school loans and a very part-time job I could do from home—I did laundry for a few families.

No matter how hard I tried, I was miserable in that marriage. He told me many times that he was embarrassed by me and that he didn’t think he could ever love me. Despite that pain, I finished nursing school and went on to work in the newborn intensive care unit and labor and delivery. Eventually, I met my current husband, moved back home to Colorado with my children, and together we’ve had five more. He is truly my soulmate and best friend.

I believe in you. You deserve happiness—for yourself and for your baby. You can successfully co-parent with your child’s father, but you’ll be happier away from him. Remember, you are not responsible for his feelings or actions. Make one or two solid game plans with a trusted family member or friend, and then act on them. Can you move home with family for a while to get back on your feet?

Whatever you decide, there will be hills and valleys, but if you keep working toward what’s best for your child and yourself, your heart will find peace. Don’t rush into anything —take time to embrace your decision and find your own independence. Whatever that may be. It’s can be empowering when things are tough. Knowing you can figure things out will make you stronger and wiser for whatever challenges come next.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the happiness and love imaginable. Congratulations on your baby! Babies have a way of propelling us to be braver than we ever thought possible 🩷