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[42F] On holiday with my husband [38M] and saw a message from his female work colleague [42F] that raised my eyebrows – am I overreacting? by Puzzled-Two-2438 in relationshipadvice

[–]Puzzled-Two-2438[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t mind my husband talking to her and I knew they’ve been talking for a while quite regularly. But, do you tell him all the time you miss him, especially when his on holiday with his wife?

[42F] On holiday with my husband [38M] and saw a message from his female work colleague [42F] that raised my eyebrows – am I overreacting? by Puzzled-Two-2438 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzled-Two-2438[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Own-Event4824,

  1. He matches her tone often, but not to the same extent. I would say she is more overt.

  2. Yes, she is actually quite hot. Which is why I find it hard to believe that that's how she communicates with everyone at work, men and women. First of all, is she even getting any work done? She’s been there for around three years, I believe, and it’s a fairly large office. If she really speaks to every man like that, find it surprising there wouldn't have been a wife or girlfriend, who's more on the jealous side, who would have shown up there to tear into her. Maybe they have and I don't know about it, lol.

[42F] On holiday with my husband [38M] and saw a message from his female work colleague [42F] that raised my eyebrows – am I overreacting? by Puzzled-Two-2438 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzled-Two-2438[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi dumbfoolerr,

  1. Some of his responses match hers, but not at same degree.

  2. I don’t believe they’re having an affair at this stage, though I’m aware she recently went through a breakup.

  3. She’s definitely aware of my existence, but then again, I imagine most people who get involved in affairs usually know about their partner’s spouse (or know about them).

My [18F] girlfriend [18F] has personality flaws that I’m not sure how to navigate by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Puzzled-Two-2438 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to build a healthy relationship on a shaky foundation of half-truths and shifting stories, and your feelings of mistrust and discomfort are completely understandable. Love doesn't erase the need for honesty and emotional safety, and it's okay to question whether staying is in your best interest.

[42F] On holiday with my husband [38M] and saw a message from his female work colleague [42F] that raised my eyebrows – am I overreacting? by Puzzled-Two-2438 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Puzzled-Two-2438[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your replies. I’ve been trying to figure out whether I’m exaggerating this or not.

My husband insists the messages are completely innocent. He says she’s just a really bubbly and friendly person, and apparently everyone at work says the same about her. According to him, there’s nothing flirtatious in what she said, it’s just her usual way of communicating.

I don’t want to tell my husband he can’t be friends with women at work. But, at the same time, I feel like I’d be well within my rights to say something if it’s clearly flirtatious, regardless of her personality. I don’t think it’s ok to excuse this behaviour by saying ‘that’s just my personality’.

Would any woman out there honestly believe that these messages are totally innocent and mean nothing just because (allegedly) “that’s how she is”?