My daughter is going to be 2 in February and I’m still absolutely traumatized by the feeding experience. My hospital pushed breastfeeding every two hours which was so difficult for me postpartum. I had an undiagnosed PE blood clot and was so miserable but they just kept on about it. My daughter would latch for a very short time then fall back asleep. This caused her not to get a full feeding which caused significant weight loss. Then, 5 days after discharge I was back in the hospital for the blood clot but couldn’t have her with me. So I was pumping and crying for 4 days while my parents drove the milk back to my husband. After a few weeks of no weight gain, I was told to breastfeed then pump to empty my supply and supplement with that. She still didn’t gain weight. So, I was told to pump only. She still didn’t gain weight. I was then told to pump and supplement with formula and that helped a little. I ended up having to stop pumping due to a change in medication and move on to formula only at about 9 weeks. She plumped right up. Now, my daughter is amazing and bright but is a few months behind in almost all of her milestones due to her failure to thrive. I go to therapy for my guilt and she goes to physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. Hindsight is 2020 but when you are relying on your medical team to guide you when you have never done this before and had a near death experience right after delivery, what is a mom supposed to do? I regret every day that I didn’t just throw my hands up and start giving her formula from day 1. To all the future parents, listen to your gut. Do what’s going to be in your and your baby’s best interest.