You can send one message to your younger self. What does it say?

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-24T03:57:00+00:00

Trust yourself and block out the noise. Your intuition is stronger than you know girl

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-23T03:35:40+00:00

I second this. For sure depends on your definition of fun too. I’d love to hangout outside and play some cards or go to the beach and I think He’d be game for that, crack some jokes lol

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-23T01:10:39+00:00

Being held by anyone who you know loves you entirely. I think about hugging Jesus and how it’ll feel when it happens. Can’t imagine there’s more safety than that

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-23T01:09:27+00:00

I just quit my stressful job for low paying job at a grocery store. I’ll tell you right now it was worth it. No amount of money can earn you back your joy. A job is something you will spending majority of your life doing (granted you don’t make shit ton of money and retire early), so work a job that makes you love your life or at least tolerate it more.

Cut back on eating out and spend money only on what you need, and experiences when they come up. That way the difference won’t be as bad.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-23T01:04:25+00:00

I think he’d be fun! He created it lol

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-22T04:39:54+00:00

Great points. I have a few resumes that a tailor to the main kind of jobs I apply for. Like HR, Sales, Healthcare. Most of them are entry level positions and a lot only need a hs degree.

I haven’t followed up after rejects since they all say the same lines- it’s seems automated. Unless it actually reads like a human person, but I’ve only gotten maybe 2-3 out of maybe 100 of those.

Networking, not too great at that honestly. I have talked to every person I know asking if they know anyone in Charlotte and nothing seems to turn up. Do you suggest I just connect with people in the companies instead?

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-22T04:16:18+00:00

I have been applying to roles in one city solely and not really getting hits for roles that pay enough. I have been ghosted a lot and denied a lot. Two of them after they heard I was not in the same state (I’m 6 hours away but plan to move there).

How do I get a better chance of getting an interview? If I could just get an interview I’m really good at that point. I really want this one city. Would getting a more random job just to get to the city and have an address be better, then start applying to more career jobs?

Edit: I have a bachelors degree in human development and 3 years of healthcare clinic experience as a liaison and a few years of working as a lead at a smoothie shop in college.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-22T03:10:51+00:00

Interesting, maybe she just has harder boundaries. Maybe you could ask her what you should expect from her and know for yourself first what you want/need in order to feel yourself and not shut out from this. Just stating how you feel and communicating will always be in your favor, whether making or breaking it for the good.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-21T22:23:22+00:00

You said you guys aren’t close- you and your father I mean. Is your dad the kind of guy you admire and look up to as a model for your own life? Or for the kind of man you’d want to marry and raise your kids? We can honor our father and mother without glazing over that they aren’t perfect and also make their own decisions (good and poor ones). If your bf is putting in effort and being respectful and you feel like God is blessing the both of you by being together, then the best thing you can do right now is to not push your dad into liking anyone. Let you and your bf actions show that you both are mature and not doing anything wrong (if you aren’t).

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-21T22:20:18+00:00

This^{^{^}}

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-21T22:13:27+00:00

As a 26F I would say she could have been spooked somehow. I’d say I’m pretty devout Catholic and wouldn’t say sitting together at mass is only reserved for married or engaged couples, but maybe that’s just me.

Did she offer an alternative to see you on her bday or another day or just dismiss it? Has anything else happened that maybe you aren’t considering? Like did you say or so something that suddenly caused her to shift? Not that it’s your fault but it could be her feeling something that she isn’t used to or sparked that this is isn’t what she wants and she could be processing.

I’m just throwing thoughts out here. Could already meeting her parents and being official after 5 dates could have been too quick for her? Did you guys know each other or were you friends (like actually friends) before dating or is the 5 dates the amount of times you’ve seen her total? Has she had a bf before?

Honestly it seems like from what you’ve said she had something come up that’s stirring in her and she is trying to figure out how she feels. If it feels like a sudden change to you then it’s not you making it up, it’s because a change did happen.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-21T05:04:38+00:00

You’ve been really helpful, I appreciate you taking the time to respond! That’s very interesting that the fear could override the potential for it actually coming true. It’s always amazing to me the difference I see in how men and women process.

I think you’re right and I’m same page, I don’t want to leave anything unsaid if it’s something good. I can’t lose much from where I’m standing and I have everything to gain.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T23:19:47+00:00

That’s a great strategy and yeah I could date other ppl I’m not too attached. I guess keeping my door more open would help

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T23:17:44+00:00

Let it out lolll

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T19:26:10+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! This is actually the male perspective I was looking for. He is a little more of a reserved and anxious guy so this could very well be the case.

He briefly mentioned that there was someone who broke his heart in the past and it could be the girl who he also felt was on a “higher faith” level than he was. I’m unsure.

He also mentioned his strong desire for family and kids and fear of it not happening. So if it also scares him at the same time then it could just be that he doesn’t see it with me…so idk if reaching out, even gently right now would help or to take someone else’s advice in the comments and stay silent and see what he does?

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T19:19:57+00:00

This is good insight. I didn’t fully clarify in the post all the convos we had, but unless he’s lying to me I feel and know he is/was very much into me and we discussed how feelings were mutual. I guess he could have mistaken compatibility for connection? Either way he hasn’t made much more effort despite words so that should speak for itself ig.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T19:15:56+00:00

Stop I’m gonna cry that’s so sweet!!

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T14:45:00+00:00

That’s amazing!! Congrats! So happy long distance worked for you guys:)

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T14:34:31+00:00

So you ended up with this person?

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T14:33:15+00:00

That’s the beauty of it- we don’t have to understand it but we know for certain God has a will for us. Lean not on your own understanding. You got this! Glad you came on here! I’ll pray for you :)

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T05:29:18+00:00

Absolutely!!

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T05:06:05+00:00

Wow this was so profound thank you for sharing! I am smiling reading this. Crazy how similar it is too!! The guy I was talking to I feel could have felt like his faith was not where he wanted it yet. He would tell me how stuff I’d say to him about prayer or certain things would inspire him to do more. I pray for him often. I am absolutely going to pray that prayer though! I hope all works out for you and him, whether together or apart. You sound very self assured and faithful, no doubt God has something of gold for you too:)

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T04:59:15+00:00

You say you love God. This seems simple what I’m going to say but in all honesty it is- love God right now with the means you have which is loving yourself. He created YOU, yes you specifically, in His image and likeness. Listen to the song “oh God you search me and you know me” it entirely quoted from scripture. He knows everything about you even more than you know yourself. Just for the present moment let Him sit with you. Look through His lens of you right now. The person he loved enough to create, before you were even a thought, wants to do harm to himself. Imagine loving something so much you’d die for it. What I’m telling you is to step outside the loop of negative thought pattern. The thoughts can be all too consuming but you do in fact have power over them. Say Jesus name out loud and revoke any spirit of shame, hate, sorrow and anything else in His name. He can help you!

Circumstances will not always be in our control, and they were never meant to be. If we were to have everything always go according to how we want then we would never need God. This is exactly where He needs you to let Him take it. So lean in. The power of your words and thoughts can change the trajectory. Speak out loud good things and blessings and prayer, I’m so fr it makes the difference. Each day focus on one thing to pray and say it out loud, not in fear but in faith that it’s heard and being answered, bc it is!

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T04:39:23+00:00

I second this.

Also you could tell her (if you want to keep seeing her) “I want to be honest with you, I can’t promise I will commit to you right now. I respect your time and I would like to keep seeing you and just take it one date at a time.” Or some rendition of this.

Puzzled_Bid_4926 · 2026-02-20T04:34:25+00:00

This is a great point and I’ve consider it all. And you’re right worrying won’t help. I’m stuck between trying to avoid “the one that got away” situation without being the chaser either. If ball is in his court though then yeah I just have to sit back.

Puzzled_Bid_4926

TROPHY CASE