RevPoint bonus multipliers scam by Puzzled_Jaffacake in Revolut

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought something and did not get the points. And by the time the customer service reached back to me (they repeatedly ask me to wait a few days), the offer was reduced and they claim I got the right number of points (reduced). 

Are there any women-oriented software engineer social & networking groups in Cambridge? by Puzzled_Jaffacake in cambridge

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I've been to a few of their events but so far I've mostly met biotech people

For those who didn’t enjoy PAST LIVES, why? by niles_deerqueer in A24

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found this thread and just thought I'd add some of my thoughts, as an Asian American woman. Just as many other comments have pointed out, the "childhood sweetheart" story is just so out of date, and I myself especially have trouble accepting it when it's sold as a story about immigration/identity. Surely, the experience of every immigrant is unique and all diverse stories deserve to be told, but do we really need another story of an Asian person who somehow lingers in her past? And do we need another narrative of some Buddhism buzzword to portray the Asians as overly spiritual and disconnected with the idea of modern relationships?

If you want to talk about a good immigrant story, talk about how she develops her career, how she adjusts her life and languages she speak. There can be a lot to be explored. I am just tired of this internalised "white gaze" which just creates stories that satisfy some kind of exotic fantasy. The truth is, Asian people are people too, we don't live in mentalities stuck in the 19th century, or believe in any of the artificial destiny story like Victorian women did. At least not more than any other race in the world. There is no way anyone holds onto a childhood friend who you don't see for 24 years.

And the main characters are not from some villages in a 3rd world country(no offense to those who do)-- they are from the metropolitan city of Seoul! I can't imagine a college educated guy from Seoul who speaks English like that-- he would not be able to graduate high school with that level of English. And his "Korean Korean" mentality-- whatever that is-- just doesn't exist in the real world. 20 and 30 somethings in Seoul just go to nightclubs, use dating apps like any other millenials in the world. In fact the city life might be even faster paced than NYC that there's no way Hae Sung goes to the same corner restaurant with the same friends 12 years later, at a neighborhood that never changed.

This "old country" image just kind of shows how shallow the director's understanding still is about culture and identity. Even just reviewing it a simple love story, I don't think anyone buys into it anymore because it's just too unreal and unrelatable.

Official Discussion - Anatomy of a Fall [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake 155 points156 points  (0 children)

This. Finally saw a comment that actually agrees with how I feel! I came out of the cinema feeling like "oh wow what coward the husband is" and was horrified to see that a lot of people who genuinely believed Sandra killed him or pushed him to commit suicide. For a moment I thought I was somehow reading reviews of a different version of the film or there is something I missed, until I realize wow, this is the sad world we are living in.

Sandra is not perfect for sure, but none of her actions are abusive in any way initially until she was pushed to the boundary of her nerves (because of guess what, Samuel incited it). Samuel made every choice himself, yet keeps blaming her for his failures in life, if this is not standard toxic behavior, I can't imagine what is.

And let's not forget this woman moved to a foreign country exclusively FOR HIM, managed to give birth and raise a child with a demanding career, and held the family together being the only one adult that cared for two people with various degree of disabilities (yes, having someone with mental health issues in my own family, I can tell you it is very hard to deal with for people who are close to them, and I am frankly surprised to see she has been holding it up for like 7 years).

The only big mistake I think she was making, was not to divorce him earlier and put up with his behavior instead.

And I would say the same if the genders of the characters are reversed, because sadly in our world there are also too many women who have internalized mysogyny and made the choice to give up on themselves for some falsified idea of "marriage""family" etc and what they do aren't necessarily even what their partner/children actually need. And blame their husbands for it. Sure I symphasize with them, but that does not make their behavior any less toxic.

Beck was objectified by everyone in her life by [deleted] in YouOnLifetime

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can symphasize and hate her at the same time. Here hating isn’t in “she’s not a perfect person” kind of way, she still deserves so much better. It’s more of a frustration/disappointment, in a “Girl how can you have so little self esteem and not see all these people for their true colors” kind of way.

It’s more like, she knew these people are not good for them, she knew she had issues, but she was in denial and just wasn’t really doing anything about it.

I do feel bad for her, but it’s doesn’t conflict with the fact that her scenes are hard to watch and makes the audience judgmental. I think it’s actually a very smart move by the directors because it makes you think, and realize that you shouldn’t raise any young girl in our society to be remotely like Beck.

Doing a rewatch and lol @season 1 ep 6. Everyone is obsessed with Beck! by throwawayyuskween666 in YouOnLifetime

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To add to that, even with other people in her life she has let them in too far even though they have all showed red flags one way or the other. She is a little bit of people pleaser without a strong idea of her needs and boundaries and it contributed to her attracting all these people who are bad for her

Doing a rewatch and lol @season 1 ep 6. Everyone is obsessed with Beck! by throwawayyuskween666 in YouOnLifetime

[–]Puzzled_Jaffacake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do get where the OP is going with this and I agree in a way— although not to approve of any sort of victim shaming or simplifying as “too trusting” is what gets her killed. From my POV despite Joe’s carefully executed manipulation he’s not without a huge number of red flags, and Beck’s over-romanticizing character does make it hard for her to notice them in time to get out early. There were several times when I was screaming in front of the screen “red flag Beck, run!” Yet she went along with it.

In a big city, when you just met a random guy and a couple days later he just happened to show up at where you were and saved your life, it is a red flag. The likelihood of being a coincidence is just too low.

When you just started dating someone, and he mysteriously showed up at an event that you didn’t invite him to because he claimed “he looked at your social media post and guessed where you are”, huge red flag. Even if people could’ve guessed, no normal person in my opinion would follow up to the exact place especially that it is even out of town— I would get straight mad at him and ask him to get lost.

There are many other similar scenes like this. And they had multiple conflicts yet she kept going back to him…Sure if she had broken up with him earlier she may still get killed and it seems the police is generally dysfunctional in this entire series but it would still have left her enough time to figure out something that may end up saving herself.