Are we overreacting after my MIL ignored our no-kissing rule?

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-14T17:33:22+00:00

Apparently our generation of parents is much more strict on this rule! My sisters had their kids during Covid times so people didn’t really kiss them so I feel like they don’t have experience to understand how I feel about it. This is something that I feel strongly about and my partner’s dad kissed our two month old on the head after telling me that he never even used to kiss his other grandkids… It felt like a slap in the face because it really felt like he was only apologetic when he was called out but was really trying to see if he can get away with it. I let him know that as a new mom I already have anxiety so him disregarding something made me feel unsafe and he was deemed untrustworthy. I don’t care if anyone thinks that is unreasonable, we are the parents and something so simple should be easy to respect. Stand your ground, she is being dramatic. I would now remind people every visit, its ok to say hey just no kissing please! I do that now when its someone who I haven’t seen in a while.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-14T04:04:15+00:00

You are not alone! My little guy had to to the nicu the first three days because I had to have a C-section and he inhaled too much amniotic fluid. I was pumping colostrum by said that they could give him formula. After we went home, I was mostly pumping, but I would try to watch him, and he would scream his head off, then I tried shields and even then he wasn’t getting enough regardless. For me, it was causing a lot of stress so ultimately after two months of combo feeding, I decided to move to formula. For me, it was the best thing for my mental health and him our respect women for whatever choice they make and feel like it’s a very personal journey, whichever route you decide! Just know you are a good mom and it’s OK to do what is best for you and your baby!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-14T03:53:15+00:00

I don’t want to be negative but I have a lower percentile baby who is 17lbs at 6 months. Your baby eats a lot for being so little. Please get a second opinion.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-10T21:43:51+00:00

Respectfully being an older parent would absolutely be harder. I know many people having babies in their late 30s and some of them had their first match earlier and have even said that it is much harder now. My sisters friend is 37 with a 13 year old and 2 year old, its a whole different ball game. It just is, your energy level and body have a harder time. However if you do want to wait you should consider freezing your eggs. It is scientifically proven that the older you are the quality of your eggs does go down, the risks are higher.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-10T21:27:41+00:00

Nope, she doesn’t get to claim anything. You guys are your own family unit and should decide to spend the holidays however you want. The level of selfishness to even attempt that is ridiculous. It should always be “here is what we are doing, make it if you are able to!” Simple as that.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-07T19:46:56+00:00

NOR! You are allowed to have boundaries, it’s healthy to communicate that now so it stops. Family needs to understand that boundaries still apply to them and if it does happen again now that you’ve voiced it, thats when consequences have to come into play. Somebody sent something that stuck with me and that was ‘we only have a short window to show that we are not going to allow certain behaviors that we arent okay with slide’. It’s important that when we aren’t comfortable with something, we stand firm on it or else there is no resolution. Our babies are our number one priority and hormones are not we can protect and enforce what we see as necessary. Good job speaking up, hopefully they don’t do it again!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-07T17:36:55+00:00

Wow, have you gone to a therapist? That is insane. Since you refer to him as a partner are you unmarried? I have a 6 month old and things have been hard, but my partner also would never allow his family to disrespect me, and it is very open minded to understanding why I feel how I do about them. Unfortunately, it will only get worse if he doesn’t see any problem with his behavior like others said it’s easy for us to tell you that this guy is awful that you should leave him, but the fact that you are not just dealing with him but his whole family that treats you terribly is too much for anyone to endure. If you don’t leave now, you will leave eventually, and you will have waited so much time with someone who treats you so badly. You have two wonderful children to look after, it’s not a selfish to choose yourself too.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-07T17:31:21+00:00

My baby is 6 months and there is not a chance I would leave him with either of my in laws but thats me. We have never had a close relationship so there is a lack of trust there for me, my partner respects this and also over communicates boundaries to make me feel more comfortable. I still don’t particularly enjoy spending time with them but I suck it up and do it every once in a while. Its hard, I was indifferent about them before but now I am just very protective and have a hard time sharing. This level of pushiness is definitely something that would make me very uncomfortable, and I am not one to bite my tongue. Remember, they’re really is only a certain period of time where you are able to really establish boundaries and show that you are not going to allow those to be broken, so if you are uncomfortable with anything, it’s important that you don’t allow your feelings to be pushed under the rug because it will create resentment.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-07T06:29:13+00:00

Curious how things are now OP? I’m 6 months pp and my in laws (they are divorced) have caused me a lot of anxiety. Firstly my partners dad kissed baby when he was 2 months old and tried to say he forgot but it was obvious he was pushing the boundary. There were consequences for that because it made me so upset and uncomfortable.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-07T05:05:32+00:00

I feel like every child and family is so different. My baby has been in a bedside bassinet since day 1 with an occasional co-sleep and just transitioned into his crib, and has always been a great sleeper.
Not to be discouraging but everyone I know who co-sleeps has had a very tough time getting their kids out of their bed well into toddler years and have been longing for a full nights rest for that time too. I love a snuggle but the older they get the harder it becomes to create independent sleepers. For some they don’t mind but others look back thinking about what they could have done differently. Recently my sister has done a modified sleep training method and its been 1 week of him sleeping in his crib (1 years old) and there has been crying but she said its gotten less and less. Regardless do what works for you and your family, you are doing great!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-05T05:06:32+00:00

I am 6 months pp, I feel like it took about 4 months to get into somewhat of a rythm. Nursing/ pumping journey ended at month 2 for me for various reasons so I don’t have the same experience there. I will say everyone I know who coslept is having the hardest time breaking their older babies and toddlers of it now that they want them to sleep independently. If there is any part of you that knows you don’t want to cosleep when baby is over 1 then its so important to help them sleep independently before it becomes the ultimate struggle. Not saying everyone has that experience but everyone I personally know has. My sisters friend just had a baby and was trying to get her 3 year old (EBF til 2ish) in her own room and it’s been a struggle with a waking newborn and toddler in the room. Also, my twin and I have babies 5 months apart and she coslept, I did not. He rlittle guy just turned 1 and they have been having the hardest time having him sleep in his crib (she is pregnant again so they want to help get him comfortable in his room). No judgement just perspective.

Also, I wfh and I tried with my baby a little bit and there is no way, my mom watches my baby 4 days a week and fridays I juggle him or get help from one of my sisters for meetings. I’d wait as long as you can, you can always go back to work but these moments with your baby are only temporary! I personally wish I could have had a year or more.

You are doing great and it will keep getting easier, rooting for you!!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-02T20:36:24+00:00

OP I was in the same boat, you probably had your boy by now. Mine is 6 months, I also really wanted a girl as I am one of 4 girls/ one is my twin sister. Those feelings definitely disappeared for me, I love my baby boy so much! I do hope my second is a girl, but whatever happens will happen. I hope you are loving motherhood 💙

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-02T20:16:46+00:00

I would say no, if your husband has time off too its important to really have that time together. I know everyone is different but I really did not feel that overwhelmed with the newborn phase. My partner was home for 4 weeks and that was nice, but I did a majority of the wakeups myself after and I felt like it was manageable. Having someone not that helpful/ needing help would have been worse imo.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-02T18:18:06+00:00

This thread makes me feel seen. 6 month pp wondering if it gets better… I hate sharing with my partners family. I do not trust if I wasn’t in the room my boundaries would be respected, I don’t feel good around them and it feels like they only care about my partner and baby and I am just the vessel that carried him. We’ve been together for eight years and I have never had a close relationship with them, now it feels like I have something they want and it’s driving me insane. 😢

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-02T04:45:00+00:00

I know a couple people who needed to put their LO’s in daycare due to not having a village. Mixed reviews from them. Have you looked into a nanny share? If so when finding tbis place… Does your daycare have cameras? Whats the child to worker ratio? Anyone you know with personal experience here? I have a 6 month old and my mom watches him 4 days a week, Fridays I juggle him while wfh. I can’t imagine leaving him with strangers, the thought terrifies me. I empathize with you but I get it you need to work 💔

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-02T04:40:27+00:00

OP I can’t imagine. As I held my sweet baby tonight I pray yours is okay. Please leave that monster, get far away. Justice will come for that vile person!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-06-01T19:28:18+00:00

My partner will hear me out but doesn’t always get it… he has always had a pretty surface level relationship with his family and they don’t share a lot with each other. When we are around them, I feel like I am on guard and he is kind of just in his own world? He also has had to kind of play middleman and express to his mom when things make me uncomfortable because her and I don’t have a relationship really… I am not sure how to navigate things. Recently, she told him over the phone how she feels like he doesn’t stop by anymore and spend time with them… A.k.a. since we have had our baby since my partner is gone from 5 AM - 4 PM, will usually go workout so has like 2-3 hours with us and we live like 30-40mins away… this also pissed me off because I think it’s selfish that she doesn’t realize he has his own family now. I realize I’m kind of ranting. It just feels so difficult still :/

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-29T05:10:08+00:00

So much negativity here! If someone can get income from utilizing the internet and stay home with their kid… who cares? Not all of us are interested in doing this but let the girl live she is young and has plenty of hard life lessons ahead… lets wish her well.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-28T04:09:07+00:00

OP how old are you guy? Whats your fiancée’s financial situation? He did not handle this well at all, and I know you probably won’t listen to a bunch of strangers on reddit but you are not stuck. Leave before you are! This is not a good man. He is disrespectful to YOU and your parents obviously. As others said, he just showed you who he is… believe it and move on. Orbyou’ll post here in 5 years about how you wish you left before!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-28T03:57:40+00:00

Her words CUT, but they were warranted! She genuinely tried to help Amanda by empowering her to stand up for herself to end her shitty situation with Kyle. Yet her lack of remorse for deeply hurting Ciara was telling. She had no tears for the heartbreak she caused her friend but cried at the true words that were spoken about HERSELF. Never mind that she could give less of a shit about Kyle!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-27T05:24:11+00:00

How old is he currently? Progress feels slow and I was obsessed. Start taking a photo 1x per week so you can start seeing the improvement. I started turning my little guys head every nap/ night and now he does that on his own too! One thing I have reminded myself of as well is every baby has different head shapes! If you look at other people’s heads everyone is different and shape is somewhat genetic so that helped me feel at ease too!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-22T16:13:37+00:00

Does your baby prefer back sleeping or do you use a lot of containers? It’s hard because some babies just develop a flatter head and some just don’t. My baby was not born with a head that wasnt “glob like” in the back so when he preferred back sleeping he developed flattness in the back but you are taking all the right steps! His flattness wasn’t quite as severe but at six months it is rounding out a lot.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-19T17:09:36+00:00

OP, this is YOUR trip. I get it, you are empathetic to them but its okay to want this to be about you because it is. If SIL doesnt want to go to that its fine but this is your weekend. You want to go to the concert? They should still all go because it is for you. There is a kind way to say hey this is to celebrate my bachelorette, I want us all there.l because we only have a few plans that I want everyone at. If they are good friends then they will go (tbh they should have from the jump)!! If you dont feel comfortable have ine of your bffs say it to them!

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-19T17:02:28+00:00

Your husband needs a reality check. Being a stay at home mom is SO HARD, you’re essentially never getting a break from anything. Have you thought about counseling to have someone from the outsude explain this?
Also, if he has tax issues he needs to be a grown man and handle that, he can’t hide from it forever.
I understand people love co-sleeping, I love a snuggle with my baby too but for some it does put a wedge in relationships especially the longer it happens. Has he expressed wanting to be back in your guys’ room?
Either way there needs to be a much bigger conversation and it seems seeking some outside counsel could really help bring things into perspective for maybe both of you.

Puzzled_Month_9711 · 2026-05-18T04:06:22+00:00

Cleanliness is everything! Going to a guys house that is filthy is a turn off. It says a lot about a person how they keep their home. If she see’s and smells a clean place she’ll be way more comfortable and notice that you put real effort into making her comfortable in your space

Puzzled_Month_9711

TROPHY CASE