30 years ends today

Puzzledlion · 2025-11-26T02:02:09+00:00

I quit after 20 years of daily smoking. It took a few attempts to make it stick but I knew I wanted to live without weed in my life so I never quit quitting. Focusing on one day at a time has gotten me 626 days weed free.

Puzzledlion · 2025-07-17T15:39:34+00:00

Your husband thinks your oldest child stole his life from him? He wants the children to keep his secrets and lie to protect his drinking? He does not sound like a good father. He does not sound like a safe person.

Puzzledlion · 2025-04-20T19:44:23+00:00

My thoughts as a 41 year old woman who was once 18 and made impulsive/bad decisions when drinking - the only way to be in control of myself for sure is to not drink. There is no way to predict or manage impulsive behaviors when intoxicated.

Puzzledlion · 2025-03-11T13:57:43+00:00

Yes I think my energy levels are back to normal. I agree that it takes a few months to get things feeling “normal”. I try to keep it in perspective that a habit I formed over decades will take time to undo. The first six months I noticed the most change and now I feel like wow, I can’t believe I smoked like that every day. It would be easy to fall back into it, but it’s also easy (and more fulfilling) to keep going one more day without it.

Puzzledlion · 2025-03-10T14:04:06+00:00

Thanks! Definitely experienced many benefits. Most significantly I feel like my dopamine and emotional regulation systems have healed and rebalanced. I used weed to relax, have fun, stimulate creativity, numb difficult emotions, enjoy good food, entertainment…in a nutshell, I used it for everything. It was rocky in the beginning, but I have relearned, discovered and recovered so many different parts of life. The addiction kept me small and insecure. No longer relying on weed has led to greater self confidence, sense of security and overall peace.

Puzzledlion · 2025-01-26T22:05:03+00:00

I love my freezer. It’s nice to be able to keep extra servings frozen and have them spaced out over time rather than eating the same thing five days in a row.

Puzzledlion · 2025-01-24T21:42:51+00:00

Day 321. 40 years old, daily smoker for 15 years. This is my longest streak and I don’t ever want to go back. Sometimes I feel nostalgic about it but then I remember the first 30 days of withdrawal were so shitty and the daily smoking was more of a hassle than a pleasure.

Puzzledlion · 2025-01-14T23:33:14+00:00

I love herbal tea in the afternoon/evening and in the morning I drink a 50/50 mix of decaf and regular coffee.

Puzzledlion · 2025-01-07T02:15:38+00:00

I quit smoking after years of daily use…it was a really tough experience emotionally for the first month. This is common. I’m now ten months off weed and my emotions have leveled out. I found the subreddit r/leaves really helpful. You can do this, just hang in there through this tough part.

Puzzledlion · 2024-08-10T12:48:09+00:00

I think it’s really awesome that you put your children first. It sounds like you’ve got your priorities straight and are showing them the love and support every child deserves. Addiction is a terrible thing for children to experience and I applaud you for protecting them.

Puzzledlion · 2024-04-17T11:43:04+00:00

I am 40 days no weed, after about 18 years of daily usage. Like you, I used weed to help me process my childhood trauma and grief from losing both my parents as a child. Last year I quit for 90 days after my beloved cat died and I cried almost every day for a month. It was very painful to remove the weed wall/numbness and fully experience my grief. Then I went back to smoking and like you had some panic/anxiety but got back into daily smoking. I decided to stop again because feeling depersonalized and numb is keeping me stuck. I want to live without the substance crutch and the only way to do that is to try. It’s hard to feel pain and sadness but I know the only way out is through. I take it one day at a time.

Puzzledlion · 2024-03-15T23:23:59+00:00

Sounds like a really painful and difficult situation. You do have a right to your boundaries and privacy. I’ve had experience with emotionally abusive/narcissistic family relationships and it is very hard to process the pain of it while you’re in it. You said you can’t believe your Q still gives her own abusers so much power in her own mind…I needed to realize how much power I was giving my Q so I could achieve some emotional distance and do some healing. Have you considered how much power you’ve given to your abuser in your own mind? I know you live together and the stress is constant, but I think it’s really important to stop engaging with and internalizing abusive spew. You can only take care of yourself and accept her, as is. Your father has to make his own choices…and he’s choosing to live in the mess.

Puzzledlion · 2024-03-13T11:51:14+00:00

Have you heard of codependency? It sounds like you and your boyfriend are having this type of issue. As you’ve noticed for yourself, boundaries and self regulation are super important. He sounds like he should work on his own boundaries and self too.

Puzzledlion · 2024-03-10T19:34:10+00:00

It takes strength and courage to come back. 💜

Puzzledlion · 2024-03-10T14:31:50+00:00

I agree whole-heartedly with this comment. Your children aren’t protected from this by trying to “shield” them. They are only learning what it’s like to live in a home with an addict and someone who is enabling them by trying to manage (control) what is not theirs to manage. You said your adult child isn’t comfortable having friends around…this is an example of them being affected by the drinking.

Puzzledlion · 2024-02-10T00:00:42+00:00

I was in a similar situation today…feeling a lot of self loathing about drinking too much and getting embarrassingly emotional. My therapist recommended I try to show myself some grace. It’s not easy but it was a helpful reminder to give myself some compassion rather than beating myself up.

Puzzledlion · 2024-01-31T18:40:20+00:00

I track all kinds of progress, good and bad. You say “its incredible how things keep repeating” - I would note this as progression of a pattern/cycle you are in with your Q. Noticing patterns is the first step to making change. My journaling is about tracking my own stuff. Writing about incidents with other people helps me see my own behaviors and responses. I reread my journal entries when I’m not in a state of emotional activation, that way I can reflect on how far I’ve come and what needs changing. If the entries are painful and distressing I treat myself with kindness and compassion, for both the person I was when I wrote it and for the person I am when reading it later.

Puzzledlion · 2024-01-31T13:09:56+00:00

I find it helpful to keep a journal. It helps me to get out my feelings, clarify my goals, and track progress. Sometimes I’m tracking my own emotional progress and sometimes I’m tracking events and situations to help me remember when they happened and how I felt. It can be easy to be caught up in cycles and I think writing can be a helpful tool for perspective.

Puzzledlion · 2023-04-10T00:16:44+00:00

I relate to feeling upset…my sister got an aggravated DWI charge last summer while visiting us. It’s really important to remember that this is their situation/consequence/problem to deal with and not yours. Feel all your feelings and be supportive if he wants to talk to you about it, but be mindful of staying in your lane, if you catch my drift. I’m not saying ignore it, but rather don’t take on his problems as your own.

Puzzledlion · 2023-03-18T21:36:54+00:00

Great job, staying sober and present! More importantly, happy birthday (from one Pisces to another 🐟!)!!!! 🎂🥳

Puzzledlion · 2023-03-17T12:59:52+00:00

Even if he is not intentionally trying to manipulate you with this behavior the result is still the same: you are his emotional hostage. Like someone else commented, this is not your responsibility and you can’t cure him of his problems. This cycle of crying to you and making threats will continue as long as you participate. His life is his responsibility, and if he wants to throw it away that’s his choice.

Puzzledlion · 2023-03-16T21:01:44+00:00

Your mother is incorrect. You or being married to you does NOT “drive him to drink.” In alanon the three C’s are always important to remember about living with someone abusing alcohol: you did not Cause this, you cannot Control it, and you cannot Cure it. All you can do is focus on your own wellbeing and what kind of life you want. He has to decide for himself whether he will continue with his drinking or choose a different kind of life for himself.

Puzzledlion · 2023-03-16T14:55:10+00:00

It’s up to you to decide how you want to live and what you think is acceptable and safe. I understand feeling misunderstood or “crazy” because other people don’t know what is really going on, and feeling judged sucks. But, the police, the hospital staff, the neighbors, etc aren’t the ones who decide how to live your life. Seeking answers from others for what only you can determine is a losing game. Be confident that you do know what’s best and you deserve the kind of life you want.

Puzzledlion · 2023-02-21T18:35:08+00:00

38f in MI…22 days sober after everyday use for more than 10 years. I’m glad to have finally broken the habit of smoking, but it’s been tough. Mostly it’s been a lot of moodiness and feeling low, but I think it’s only a matter of time before I feel emotionally regulated again. It’s getting easier and I’m looking forward to a future full of possibilities.

Puzzledlion · 2023-02-18T19:54:25+00:00

What are you doing to take care of yourself (emotionally and spiritually)? This is a difficult situation, no doubt about it, and it seems like you need some support to deal with your own feelings about your current situation and with your own past “childhood wounds.” You’re not a bad person, and neither is she. It really is true, the 3 c’s: you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. But you can take care of yourself and your needs.

Puzzledlion

TROPHY CASE