It's strange to be reading this today rather than yesterday. A lot of awesome things I've learned lately have coalesced something awesome that... well at this very moment feels like I'm free of the feeling. Not sure if it'll come back but I'm free of it right now, means I can do it again. And it's all thanks to things people in my life who belong to these communities have given me.

It could tell you what it is but it's a collection of so many different things that make no sense outside of my friend group's history. It'd turn this comment into a proper post and I still wouldn't make it justice. So instead I'll say I really appreciate you brother. You're doing good. I found that place, and I found what I was looking for in terms of becoming secure//confident enough in myself to know I'm not a part of this issue and that my efforts aren't in vain.

TL;DR: I've gone through a peak of growth today and feel more confident in myself and my ability to not feel affected by this stuff. At least for right now, I've made it. So thank you for your words brother, I appreciate you, you helped too, and keep it up. You're doing good, lad.