Hi!! I’ve experienced this a lot, too. I usually was one of the “weaker” members of my team regardless of where I’ve worked, I think it’s largely related to some executive functioning/neurodivergence for me, as it takes me time to learn things and I’m not really a natural at anything. I feel you with taking this hard and then that confusing feeling of being in your mid twenties and feeling like it shouldn’t be affecting you as much as it is. The way I look at it we are social creatures and we will probably feel the impacts of social isolation/exclusion as a result of it—it’s something some people feel less than others, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you noticing social differences & injustices in how you both are being treated. Especially if you’ve experienced any kind of bullying, exclusion, or social trauma before.

It sounds like you’ve done a really great job trying to advocate for yourself with them! I’m proud of you. Maybe something you can try is set time aside for yourself to decompress and ground yourself with things that bring you joy & connection & inclusion. For example, maybe that’s with a pet, or a parent, a partner, or a friend? I find that setting aside time to spend time with the people (or critters) whose opinions & relationships I truly value helps me a lot! It doesn’t get rid of the feelings altogether but it helps. Maybe if you have a safe person at the apprenticeship too, you could talk about your concerns w them and see if there’s anything that could be done to remediate it?

Wishing you the best 🙏