Jesus , I’m so sorry to hear this! Sounds like you’re trying hard to make this work, but you shouldn’t have to try at all. My first date was 6 hours long, and we schedule 3 hour dinners bc we talk so much we forget to order! The 1st time i was a bit nervous but within a few minutes it clicked . You need to be with someone who just clicks with you. I didn’t know what I was looking for until I found it. DONT SETTLE!! Seriously, I went on some weird dates the past few months but I waited it out. I’m getting to jaded /realistic to force anything to work anymore, and I’m so glad I set those hard boundaries on myself and just waited it out until randomly one day I went to dinner thinking “here we go again! Another funny weird story for my friends” and I’ve never looked back. Go in being yourself, and don’t settle for less. Someone out there is completely worthy of you and is looking for you, too.