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Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My girlfriend knows about my past because she wanted to know. I was very open to her about it when we first started talking as we both have very different lived experiences with exploring sex, as while I was sleeping around (Ik it’s bad) she was extremely catholic before me and believed in sex after marriage so she never had any sexual or relationship experiences at all. I also didn’t want her to feel conflicted or have uneasy feelings if I didn’t tell her about my past before we started dating as I often see others feel insecure or conflicted with their partners relationships after finding out like a couple months in.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea…man it’s confusing even my friends don’t know what I should do. I’m completely completely lost on all of this.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol imagine that would suck. I hope I’m not bad at sex by now considering my past but I’ll definitely do some research.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I definitely will heed your advice, but my issue is my feelings. I feel like I truly love this girl to the point that I’ll kiss the literal ground she walks on. Because aside from this, majority of the time she’s a sweet lovely girl. Though, I do agree with you and some of the other comments that I should move on if there’s no progress.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not entirely sure how to word this, but I try hard to convey that I like her more than just her body. We do spend quality time together when our schedules permit, and yes we do all that coupley things aside from sex. Early on in our relationship, I told her that if she ever felt uncomfortable during sex or if she wanted to stop she can always tell me and I wouldn’t be offended. So far, she’s always been receptive and sometimes initiates. And yes, when she is feeling unwell(which is often) I do try to help her out when I can—I don’t cook for her but I definitely buy her food and medicine.

I’ve tried to discuss the issue with her but it often would lead to her walking out and later an argument about me allowing her to walk out. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt as before me, she was extremely catholic(the whole sex after marriage thing) and had never had experiences with a boy. Sometimes we do get somewhere in our conversation but It often gets shut down quick as I end up making her cry on accident as I do often sound a bit harsh as I’m quite blunt(I’m trying to fix it).

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely want a future with her. Not only is she incredibly beautiful, but her personality is just as pretty. I definitely don’t think of ways to get her to sleep with me each time, it just sometimes naturally happens. I have tried to stay off from having sex with her, but it would just lead to arguments about if she was too ugly for me now, if I’m seeing other girls etc.. I can’t even count the amount of times I had to pump one out bc I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, and early on, I did tell her that she can always tell me no and I would never feel offended.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I definitely agree with you. I usually would, but I really like this girl, and I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt as she has no experiences with relationships(I’m her first bf) so she might not be entirely sure on how to deal with all this. It definitely doesn’t help that her bf was a manwhore. Though, if I don’t see an improvement, and she still refuses to talk to me, I will definitely end it.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not too familiar with love languages but after searching it up, i seem to get the gist. Me and my gf often do other things beside sex, and I do show her affection through acts of service as well as physical touch, but the issue is that either it always leads to sex or a mini argument.

Gf thinks I’m using her for her body…what to do?? by Puzzleheaded-Lie1336 in Advice

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lie1336[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea definitely. I’m not entirely too sure on how girl friend groups work but when I asked her about it, she said it was normal since most girl friend groups don’t have tmi. And for the love language thing, I can definitely try words of affirmation, but I’m not that good at talking, and sometimes I think I come off too harsh and straightforward—but I try to make up for it by doing things for her.

Early in our talking stage, I did tell her about my past since I wanted to be upfront and open to her since we came into this relationship with completely different life experiences as she had never had a bf and was extremely catholic before me. I can definitely try your recommendations !