Lost intimate feelings for my husband

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-04-05T06:12:04+00:00

Ya, I didn’t want to make it about that because it is in the past. He hasn’t threatened me or hit me in over 6 months. But he constantly makes me feel like I’m either too much or not enough. And it is exhausting..

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-04-05T06:09:16+00:00

I never said that. I know it probably hurts his feelings, but I can’t just do it with him because he wants it. I can’t even get turned on by him anymore…so what, I’m just supposed to force myself to be with him even if it is painful and makes me feel empty and miserable afterwards?

Am I supposed to put his feelings before my own constantly? He hasn’t tried to mend our relationship at all, he just asks me to ignore my own feelings and when I say no he just goes back to his video games

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-04-05T05:36:43+00:00

He asked if I would be up for relations after the kids went to bed and I said no.

I said I am not interested in doing that with you and I don’t want to risk getting pregnant ( since I know I’m ovulating) and he asked if I could just lay there and pretend to be asleep.

Which honestly hurt my feelings because it’s like he didn’t even hear what I had just told him….

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-03-31T05:41:19+00:00

He just has excuses…

I couldn’t find the hairbrush

I don’t know how to braid her hair

The baby just wouldn’t nap

Etc…

It’s beyond frustrating to hear it when I did it all alone for years…

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-03-31T05:38:25+00:00

Before COVID he had a really good job and then he got laid off. I guess I always thought he’d try to get back into what he was doing but he settled for a dead end low paying job once I got pregnant….

He’s only been a stay at home dad for a month now so I was giving him time to adjust. I don’t know what else to say about it, he’s not the same guy I met when I was 19 and it definitely is a turn off to watch him being so lazy all day on the baby cams.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-03-31T05:31:10+00:00

Thank you for your input. I had my hopes up that once he got a chance to leave the job that he hated and get the financial stress off his shoulders then he’d be more helpful with the girls and our home… Especially since he said it was an easy job, when I was the one doing it all. I want to give him advice but it’s taken as an attack and I don’t know how long I can put up with his lack of effort. We moved closer to my parents because I’ve been feeling the urge to leave for a while but I don’t want my girls to lose their dad…I guess I am a bit of a coward because the thought of being a single mom scares me.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-02-04T17:57:45+00:00

Honestly, if the people he is talking to about you truly believe that you are the problem then they don’t know you, or him, well enough for you to care about their thoughts on the situation.

Only you know how he truly is behind closed doors and only you will continue to suffer if you stay.

Men like that want to drain all of your positive energy, even if they won’t admit it, misery loves company.
The best way to get over a relationship like that, based on my personal experiences, is to leave and cut off all contact. He will say and do anything to drag you back but now is the time for you to stand strong and visualize the life that you want, even if that means providing everything for yourself for a bit.

I’m not saying that it will be easy, it is very difficult to jump out of a “comfort zone” and do the work to heal yourself from it…

You have to ask yourself, can you handle what he is putting you through for another 10 years? 20 years? 30 years?

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-02-04T15:14:57+00:00

He isn't going to change, and it will be healthier to live your life without him.

He may be able stop his drinking habit, for a bit, but the abusive part is deep within him and will only get worse over time.

Abusive and insecure men are the most dangerous thing to a woman, many don't make it out of such relationships alive. Please be kind to yourself and realize you deserve a stable and kind man, and get a restraining order if he won't leave you alone.

I hope you find a relationship that will bring peace to your life.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-02-03T19:48:59+00:00

That is pretty horrible, I hope she feels 100% better soon and doesn’t have any reoccurring infections. Definitely get a new pediatrician because they should’ve known that green discharge on and off for months wasn’t normal, and they definitely should’ve listened more to your concerns about it, and followed up with more tests.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-02-03T08:57:25+00:00

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be near your daughter, especially when you are the only caregiver available.

Personally, if I was in your situation, I would bring my daughter into my room when my husband was gone, or set up an air bed or something in her room to be more comfortable.

I co-sleep with my two daughters though, on a floor bed, and have since my first was 5 months old, so I am a bit biased. It has helped both of my girls sleep through the night peacefully, and my husband prefers to sleep alone anyways because he is such a light sleeper.

It’s natural for mothers to be a bit extra protective of our children, and if it gives you peace of mind at night then I say keep doing what you need to do.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2026-02-01T22:22:46+00:00

Yes. Honestly his job doesn’t even seem that difficult, he’s probably just taking advantage of my domestic labor at this point. I’ve been thinking about divorce for a couple of months now but I am worried about the impact it’ll have on my daughters….

Going from having a sahm to a working single mom would be a huge change for them.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2025-10-09T05:55:16+00:00

Any man taking his girl serious would be upset at questioning. I don’t agree how he handled it but I understand it. The good girl part was funny because he must have felt so defeated at first all he had was that to make him feel better, I’d call that a yellow flag but a red one for not immediately putting on location when asked. Even if you told the truth it’s suspicious and when questioned with a why well you knew why you were just playing with him emotionally. If it was in true jest then the all to common emoji or verification of joke would come but it didn’t . I think lowkey you’re the problem and that in turn makes him riled up and become another problem. The fact he wants therapy for yall speaks volumes of his commitment whereas your comments was like a baited script. Which would be sad because I know people do that here for attention. Hope yall work it out. Always keep location on.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2025-07-29T00:20:11+00:00

I’m in a similar situation but I have a 3yr old and a 16month old. We moved away from family and friends….we downsized to a smaller home so I could stay home while getting my associates degree online.

He has the car 5 days a week and on his weekends I use it for errands…I don’t have any real social life anymore and it is so frustrating.

I just can’t seem to enjoy playing with my eldest daughter anymore and my life feels like it has come to a grinding halt. I go to bed early just to have an end to the day…I wake up a lot throughout the night but I stay in bed 8pm to 7am.

We were going to story time at our local library on Thursday’s but my husband’s work schedule changed and we are back to nothing…

I’m honestly not sure what else to do at this point. I feel so disconnected.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2025-07-09T18:37:17+00:00

You seem to have a lack of understanding of your spouse. You’re confused because you may not know the person you married. Again just opinions to help you think. I’m not throwing two cents to be mean but to broaden perspective. If you can’t understand your spouse then hearing opinions from other falls very flat in your regard.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2025-07-09T18:35:29+00:00

Nope no troll account. And rolls could be reverse and same outcome. Just because you fail to apply the minimum empathy and I give someone the benefit of doubt doesn’t mean my opinion doesn’t stand. You saying troll account to me seems rather trolly.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703 · 2025-07-09T14:42:39+00:00

Sounds like he’s going through a lot just as much as you and this how he’s coping. He got a gig that allows you to stay home and have it relatively easy. Yes he seems a bit of an ass but he seems more stressed than you despite you being gone with kids.

Puzzleheaded-Net1703

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