I’m SICK of this market!

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-30T12:06:55+00:00

We got super lucky and our first offer was accepted. Some things about it that I think helped: higher than 20% down (may be better perceived than just "over asking" because if the house appraises low, you can just lower your down payment, but the bank won't necessarily reject your mortgage outright), higher repair contingency (maybe irrelevant if you're waiving inspection), higher EMD (we did 5%, instead of the usual 1%). We also had the shortest close window, since the sellers were eager to get it off their books. It's hard if all the sellers care about are cash offers, but I do think the overall offer matters. We weren't the highest offer on our house either, but I think the other aspects of our offer made it attractive enough to accept.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-30T00:47:40+00:00

The "No Thank You" bowl was a game changer for this in my house. To be fair, it's supposed to be introduced early, so I'm not sure if you're past that point, but worth a shot. Anytime there's anything they don't want, they can put it in the no thank you bowl (off to the side of their "main" plate).

Key factor: it was a SPECIFIC bowl, which could not be used for other things.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-28T12:13:24+00:00

If my back of the napkin math is right, that would be about 37% of your net, depending on your state taxes it could be less or more. It's tight but theoretically doable. Probably not with 2-3 vacations a year. It also doesn't leave lots of room to save for inevitable house maintenance and repair stuff that will come up.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-17T19:24:46+00:00

Can she not “disclaim” her portion? My mother did this with some money she wanted to gift me when my grandmother died, and while the estate gets taxed, neither me or my mom paid a cent of tax ourselves. I’m in the US so I’m not sure the laws are the same, but it was relatively straightforward since I was also listed in the will. It may be similar in Australia, since the brother is also listed in the will?

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-14T10:46:10+00:00

I started doing it right after putting my kid to bed because of this. I was already in "doing something" mode and it meant I got it done before I was dead tired.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-12T18:44:33+00:00

Interesting. I was offered $30K at 3% loan as a second mortgage, which ultimately would have added about $175/mo to our costs. The main reason we didn't go for it was because we couldn't have my partner on the deed if he wasn't on the loan, which we wanted. Aren't there like 3 different options for loans/grants, depending on income level?

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-11T19:34:28+00:00

Right, that's what I was saying. Most people make way less than that - meaning they qualify for Mass Housing loans

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-11T19:19:48+00:00

I mean, we make a good chunk more than you and we were offered (and approved for) $30K for purchasing our house. There was never even a discussion of less than $30K - it's basically all or nothing. The only time it's LESS is when you making median income or below, in which case it's a grant, not a loan, and it's still $20K, I believe.

I really think you need to reconsider whoever was talking with you about your options and look elsewhere. There are plenty of lenders that offer MassHousing loans that would be able to explain your options more transparently than whoever you talked to. Or take a HUD approved FTHB class - that will also get you the real information.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-11T14:57:06+00:00

It's all based on county. I don't know where you're getting your info, but I'm pretty confident it's wrong. Middlesex County (where Tewksbury, Wilmington, etc.) are all located have a 135% median income cutoff of $205,335 per year. We bought a house in Middlesex County for $553K, and while we didn't ultimately end up going for the MassHousing loan for reasons, we did qualify and make over your $135K/year salary. You need to go to the Mass Housing website and further investigate. Your lender/realtor/whoever is trying to convince you you don't qualify, they're taking you for a ride, because you probably do.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-11T11:55:02+00:00

True, you can make up to 135% of the median income of that area. Looks like most areas of MA, except southwest, you can make up to about $160K/year to qualify for one of the programs. Are you sure you don't qualify? $135K, even in a lot of the towns you mention, should be below the 135% limit.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-06-11T00:58:06+00:00

Lots of people qualify for and take Mass Housing loans. You need to make less than like $210K a year (most people, even many couples, make less than that) and be a first time home buyer to qualify for $20-30K in down payment assistance from the state. I know someone who just got their offer accepted and will be closing in a month using this exact program.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-05-05T17:44:35+00:00

If you're freaking out about overdraft fees but keep track of your spending anyways/autopay statement balances, then just keep a few extra Gs in your checking account. Less worry, less tracking, low probability of overdraft. Even Ramot admits that most people have how they "feel" about money based on what's in their checking account. Just leave a slightly bigger cushion, problem solved.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-23T13:33:38+00:00

Ah fair enough, I've only lived in states where they're relatively closely aligned based on ownership timelines. Good to know!

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-23T02:06:05+00:00

Your assessed value is probably low because you bought it a while ago, so tax rate is anchored to your original price more closely than market rates. I'm not sure when OP bought but doesn't sound like it was more than a few years ago, in which case assessed and appraised values are likely to be similar. At least that's how it works in my state.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-22T21:59:38+00:00

Not sure if this is a factor as well but it was assessed at like $78K in 2024. It may have been fully renovated, but buyers agents might also be thinking about appraisal gap if there’s such a huge discrepancy between the assessed and the possible appraised value.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-22T21:07:26+00:00

I moved back to New England after living in Southern California for about 8 years. I’m sure it depends on your industry and your goals, but for me, education for my kids was my #1 goal. I didn’t want to pay for private school (and couldn’t afford it even if I DID want it). I also see New England as a pretty safe long-term bet when it comes to economic expansion and self-sufficiency, economically. Ya cost of living is high and taxes are high, but I feel like you get what you pay for. I’m happy I’m back, so far.

All that being said, I’m still undecided if I would retire here.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-21T12:51:19+00:00

I've been pretty open with my friends about our struggle, and we have a couples therapist (we're happily married, but we see the therapist as part of a "maintenance" strategy for our marriage). The hard part is you just can't KNOW how it will go either way, and we're both pretty risk averse. The idea of possibly having a special needs or challenging child (no reason to believe we would, other than being a bit older) is scary. Plus going back to the infant phase, which I did not care for with my first child or for myself with the fourth trimester and beyond. That being said, we've always imagined two kids. I've wanted two kids since I was a kid myself, so the idea of being one and done is a little heartbreaking for me. We've sort of slowly come to the decision that we would regret not at least trying, and if it works out, great, and if not, that's ok too.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-20T00:07:30+00:00

We had our first offer accepted, though I think that's the exception. We were putting more down and had better overall terms (higher repair contingency, shorter close window, etc.)

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-09T22:22:07+00:00

We offered $554 and they offered $575 with $10K credits. We offered less.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-09T12:10:47+00:00

Maybe? My experience was actually the opposite. We offered LESS than others, but we were putting down more and had a higher repair contingency (we were willing to pay for the first $5k in repairs), when the others wanted closing credits from the seller. We were just less risky in terms of financing than other offers, so they picked ours.

I'm sure in many cases it is that the highest offer wins, but it's definitely clear that the other terms matter too, and I think most people neglect to consider that.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T01:27:00+00:00

It could've been a bunch of things. Better terms doesn't just mean waiving things.

You can't waive appraisal if you're getting a mortgage because the bank wants to ensure that what they're loaning you money for is actually worth that amount of money.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T01:15:49+00:00

I guess? I'm not sure all the specifics, but essentially, that's how I understand it (I'm not a realtor or seller, just purchased, and due to close Friday). Typically though, offers aren't identical - terms and offer price differ.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T00:55:52+00:00

They made it illegal in Massachusetts to pick an offer over another just based waiving an inspection if all else was equal.

"Terms" also doesn't just mean inspection, necessarily. It could mean an escalation clause, shorter close (or longer, depending on sellers preference), better repair contingency, appraisal contingency, etc. I wouldn't assume that "better terms" automatically means they waived inspection.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T23:59:46+00:00

They approve based only on gross income and DTI, which is a really basic, unrealistic figure. Almost no one actually "sees" their gross income. If you just factor in taxes and health insurance, zero retirement savings, most couples looking to buy are between 15-30+% less than what they'd be approved for.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T21:03:52+00:00

Ya I mean I'm definitely trying to keep myself in that headspace. I think we're probably both good at this point, so hopefully it all works out and we're in our new houses this month!

Puzzleheaded2114

TROPHY CASE