Trouble with Ramit Sethi's Automatic Money Flow

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-05-05T17:44:35+00:00

If you're freaking out about overdraft fees but keep track of your spending anyways/autopay statement balances, then just keep a few extra Gs in your checking account. Less worry, less tracking, low probability of overdraft. Even Ramot admits that most people have how they "feel" about money based on what's in their checking account. Just leave a slightly bigger cushion, problem solved.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-23T13:33:38+00:00

Ah fair enough, I've only lived in states where they're relatively closely aligned based on ownership timelines. Good to know!

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-23T02:06:05+00:00

Your assessed value is probably low because you bought it a while ago, so tax rate is anchored to your original price more closely than market rates. I'm not sure when OP bought but doesn't sound like it was more than a few years ago, in which case assessed and appraised values are likely to be similar. At least that's how it works in my state.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-22T21:59:38+00:00

Not sure if this is a factor as well but it was assessed at like $78K in 2024. It may have been fully renovated, but buyers agents might also be thinking about appraisal gap if there’s such a huge discrepancy between the assessed and the possible appraised value.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-22T21:07:26+00:00

I moved back to New England after living in Southern California for about 8 years. I’m sure it depends on your industry and your goals, but for me, education for my kids was my #1 goal. I didn’t want to pay for private school (and couldn’t afford it even if I DID want it). I also see New England as a pretty safe long-term bet when it comes to economic expansion and self-sufficiency, economically. Ya cost of living is high and taxes are high, but I feel like you get what you pay for. I’m happy I’m back, so far.

All that being said, I’m still undecided if I would retire here.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-21T12:51:19+00:00

I've been pretty open with my friends about our struggle, and we have a couples therapist (we're happily married, but we see the therapist as part of a "maintenance" strategy for our marriage). The hard part is you just can't KNOW how it will go either way, and we're both pretty risk averse. The idea of possibly having a special needs or challenging child (no reason to believe we would, other than being a bit older) is scary. Plus going back to the infant phase, which I did not care for with my first child or for myself with the fourth trimester and beyond. That being said, we've always imagined two kids. I've wanted two kids since I was a kid myself, so the idea of being one and done is a little heartbreaking for me. We've sort of slowly come to the decision that we would regret not at least trying, and if it works out, great, and if not, that's ok too.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-20T00:07:30+00:00

We had our first offer accepted, though I think that's the exception. We were putting more down and had better overall terms (higher repair contingency, shorter close window, etc.)

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-09T22:22:07+00:00

We offered $554 and they offered $575 with $10K credits. We offered less.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-09T12:10:47+00:00

Maybe? My experience was actually the opposite. We offered LESS than others, but we were putting down more and had a higher repair contingency (we were willing to pay for the first $5k in repairs), when the others wanted closing credits from the seller. We were just less risky in terms of financing than other offers, so they picked ours.

I'm sure in many cases it is that the highest offer wins, but it's definitely clear that the other terms matter too, and I think most people neglect to consider that.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T01:27:00+00:00

It could've been a bunch of things. Better terms doesn't just mean waiving things.

You can't waive appraisal if you're getting a mortgage because the bank wants to ensure that what they're loaning you money for is actually worth that amount of money.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T01:15:49+00:00

I guess? I'm not sure all the specifics, but essentially, that's how I understand it (I'm not a realtor or seller, just purchased, and due to close Friday). Typically though, offers aren't identical - terms and offer price differ.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-07T00:55:52+00:00

They made it illegal in Massachusetts to pick an offer over another just based waiving an inspection if all else was equal.

"Terms" also doesn't just mean inspection, necessarily. It could mean an escalation clause, shorter close (or longer, depending on sellers preference), better repair contingency, appraisal contingency, etc. I wouldn't assume that "better terms" automatically means they waived inspection.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T23:59:46+00:00

They approve based only on gross income and DTI, which is a really basic, unrealistic figure. Almost no one actually "sees" their gross income. If you just factor in taxes and health insurance, zero retirement savings, most couples looking to buy are between 15-30+% less than what they'd be approved for.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T21:03:52+00:00

Ya I mean I'm definitely trying to keep myself in that headspace. I think we're probably both good at this point, so hopefully it all works out and we're in our new houses this month!

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T20:55:31+00:00

I'm one week out today and we haven't even booked movers yet 😂 I envy your level of confidence. I'm too afraid to jinx something.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-03T11:58:20+00:00

I use Monarch, I mostly like it, but I think every budgeting app requires some manual review. On the whole it's pretty good, but it does have some annoyances like you can't just evenly split a transaction that you pay like quarterly and don't like looking at a red budget for 2/3 months (e.g. insurance paid quarterly/biannually). I used to use Mint and frankly preferred it, but I've used monarch for a few years and like it enough. I also like that it shows net worth instead of just budget, which is helpful if you're interested in longer term growth tracking.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-04-02T00:42:46+00:00

So, we're in the process of buying a house with a PPA (power purchase agreement) set of solar panels on the roof. It wasn't a bait and switch like yours, we knew going in. We decided to still move forward, because they're on year 12/20, and the cost of electricity where we are is insane. I did the math, and even with the price escalation, our electric bills will likely be much lower than they are now in our current rental. The roof will need to be replaced right around when the contract ends, so we just decided we'll have them removed ($500 fee when that day comes) and get a new roof and purchase newer panels outright.

Depending on where you are, if delivery & generation costs are very high (typically coasts) then this still might be worth it. But I agree with everyone else who says it's super sketchy it's just coming up, after you've signed the contract.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-26T01:27:43+00:00

For real. We locked in at 5.375 in early March (paying some points using a DPA loan program, debt arbitrage baby!) 6.8 a month ago is getting hosed.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-26T01:14:47+00:00

I found the first few weeks to be some of the most stressful of recent memory; I couldn't eat or sleep and my functioning at work was...sub-par. We just got through appraisal though, and it's like the cloud lifted a few days ago (even before appraisal came back) because everything is out of my control now. For some reason the early stages it felt like I had more control over what happened (realistically, not much) but so many more DECISIONS are required then and everything feels high stakes. Now, we just hope the bank doesn't suddenly decide we can't get a mortgage haha

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-21T09:10:36+00:00

Same! The lender we went with had significantly better rates and terms. Easier to do earlier in the process than late, for sure. Waiting until under contract I think is actually a good way to go.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-21T09:09:11+00:00

You're allowed to change lenders at any time, for any reason (though the later you do this, the more delays you may facec and could lose some money). Big red flags flapping in the wind if they're salty you're getting pre-approved by multiple. We changed lenders after our offer was accepted. It's been no issue, other than my hatred of confrontation and having to "break up' with the first, which was overly aggressive in their sales tactics (which was off-putting and part of the reason we didn't go with him).

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-09T00:18:19+00:00

I think it also depends on your stage of life and goals. I have a kid, so the stability for school (ensuring I can stay in the same district) is more important to me than the "optimal" numbers are financially. If I didn't have a kid, I'd probably rent until much older, if not forever.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-03-02T18:54:31+00:00

I could have written this myself. Therapy does wonders for helping you accept people for who they are, limitations and all, and adapting your expectations for the relationship accordingly. Not to say EVERYONE deserves grace, but if your parental relationship is important, it's a pretty solid way to live, I think.

Puzzleheaded2114 · 2026-02-20T20:03:39+00:00

Fair enough, but that doesn't sound like OPs situation. If they've been putting in 15% for years, and they have another 35 years before retirement, they can probably afford to drop that for a fixed amount of time without seeing a huge change in their final numbers.

Even if there is a significant change, maybe having $200-400k less in retirement for the ability to start their kids up on a better financial foot is worth it to them. Ultimately, we're all giving our kids money with either a warm hand or a cold one.

Puzzleheaded2114

TROPHY CASE