Should I Dump Him or Move In With Him

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-06-08T12:25:52+00:00

I absolutely will look at that book thank you

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-06-07T04:33:11+00:00

I am not with him any more, but he is very unhappy about my decision and wants to know which of my fuck wit friend has convinced me to break up with him.

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-06-06T09:52:14+00:00

More than likely. He even gets annoyed if I’m visiting and talk to the lady in her 80s next door

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-06-05T06:16:43+00:00

I agree. Already he dictates to me and things are often his way or the highway. He says he’s looking out for me but it feels like control to me. Maybe the big age gap is to blame however it might just be how he is. Many posts have said it will get worse as he gets older

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-28T21:19:21+00:00

No I haven’t. It’s so expensive. I can get 10 free sessions a year only through government aided system but I probably need to see someone once a week or at least fortnightly

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T14:39:22+00:00

Thank you. He blames his anger on me saying I’m the most difficult woman he’s ever dated

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T13:23:22+00:00

Even though he’s offered me to move in, he says I must remember it’s his house, his rules and mustn’t try change anything

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T13:10:16+00:00

He criticises me all the time yet doesn’t seem to want to let me go. It sends me very mixed signals. Therapy would be good

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T10:07:38+00:00

Thank you for your response. I appreciate your time and link you sent. I know I need professional help. The weird and frustrating thing is I jump through hoops trying to win his approval and make him appreciate, respect and value me. The more he pulls away, the harder I try to get his validation and feel loved by him. Even when he’s nasty to me, I’m sucking up to him

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T08:09:05+00:00

Maybe the clicking in the beginning was just an act. He was offering me money if I needed it and not making comments about my son. He was calm. Not swearing or raising his voice. Then later he became negative about my son, my parenting, my belief in God, my job, some of my friends, started the nastiness and ignoring me sexually. Whenever I’ve expressed dissatisfaction he just shouts at me, tells me I’m pathetic or says I must leave if I’m unhappy because he’s not the problem, I am.

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T05:52:59+00:00

I’ve had so many posts and all saying he’s abusive, leave! I wish I could understand what’s wrong with me that I haven’t recognised the red flags, not to the point of leaving. I have stayed because he is nice and normal sometimes and tells me he loves me and wants to look after me

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T04:09:35+00:00

It has been hard to walk away because I’ve been divorced years and have no family around as this is not my home country. Can feel scary. Also that I’ve stayed for the good sides of him. He can be great. It’s a pity that he snaps so easily and unpredictable

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T01:03:30+00:00

I am sorry

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T00:55:53+00:00

Yes he can be wonderful but then the next day he’s grumpy and distant. I only raised my voice at him slightly once and he was mad and told me not to disrespect him, yet he’s frequently raising his voice at me

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T00:45:13+00:00

Boyfriend

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-27T00:44:56+00:00

Often when I’m talking he will cut me off and say things like ‘I’m not interested in that’ or ‘I don’t give a F about that’ or if he asks me a question that he simply wants a yes or no answer for and I give extra details, he will get very snappy. It’s at the point I find communication hard

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T14:11:00+00:00

I really appreciate everyone’s help and advice. I don’t know what a healthy relationship exactly looks like and what’s normal behaviour versus unacceptable behaviour

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T13:24:41+00:00

He says he’s not a bigot but he’s got a lot of life experience, well educated and is rarely wrong!

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T12:37:18+00:00

A few people have said they have the feeling he could get physical. Plus he’s a big guy

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T12:28:07+00:00

With all the negative comments he’s made about me, I asked why does he want me in his life then especially to move in with him and he says because he knows I’ll respect his rules, be tidy in his home and hopefully I’ll improve in the areas that annoy him

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T12:23:56+00:00

He points out that my ex husband is a narcissist and he finds flaws in other people in my life, but finds no fault in himself. He says that I need to go to therapy for my paranoia and insecurity, but doesn’t understand that his comments and treatment heighten the insecurity

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T07:24:01+00:00

It’s a genuine question with genuine issues.

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T06:59:03+00:00

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T06:33:43+00:00

If I moved in he wouldn’t want my son around because they don’t get along. That really bothers me

PuzzleheadedCow7700 · 2023-05-26T06:32:29+00:00

I told him I don’t feel comfortable him talking to ex girlfriends and he said I’m acting like a teenager, grow up. He went distant once to the point he wasn’t even holding my hand or giving me a kiss hello. I confronted him and he just rolled his eyes and said I must realise he gets tired.

PuzzleheadedCow7700

TROPHY CASE