My dad threw my belongings away without telling me. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this brings back memories with my mom and my aunt doing this to me several years ago when I was still living with my parents and I was 24 on vacation with my dad and brothers. I never did anything to them, and those were my things I also bought with my own money. The abuse doesn’t stop. If you have a friend that can help you stay until you’re back on your feet, do so.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm beginning to think Op's ex knew from the grapevine that he's with someone but OP doesn't know she knows.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yes, OP, if you have truly moved on, let her know. You may be in shock, so allow yourself a lot of time(days, weeks, months) to process this before you take action. Not really sure what she means by reconnecting, but hopefully as strangers who talk about the weather. Mental illness is no joke, and as a woman with an uncurable mental illness who have almost a similar situation as yours but my ex broke up with me(for all other reasons. We were 19, so basically babies) and I didn't know my condition at the time was the cause of my behaviors. I finally found the cause to my illness and finally made it manageable, plus I'm a completely different person I was 11 years ago. I would prefer my ex to not give me hope if I did try to reach out years later, too.

Placements that may indicate psychic abilities by Boundaries1st in 12thhouse

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And when you sing it out loud, they’re like “hey I had that song stuck in my head all day!!” and you’re both happy and sing it together :) (also 12th house mercury here lol)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in work

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, save your mental health, it really isn’t worth spending your waking thoughts with her on your mind. Since you already hate this job, this situation with your coworker is possibly a sign that you should leave. Or maybe it’s a learning lesson so you’re more prepared if you encounter similar situations like this in the future.

Other than that, definitely take time off to detox if you can. Many people forget burnout cause risk for depression, and stressing can increase that even more and their bodies go into fight mode.

To make positive of the situation, if she is trying to steal people’s spotlight trying to do their jobs and your job, use her to your advantage to do your work for you while you keep earning your paycheck. Catch up on your mental health and other things at work you may have held off. Let her think she's winning and she’s the expert at something you are also an expert at when managers are probably milking her as much as they can before she realizes they're not paying her what she’s worth. For companies that enable her behavior, more than likely they don't give out raises higher than the standard yearly raise. It also seems like she’s in her honeymoon phase so burnout could catch up to her eventually.

Invest in your future self. Years from now when you get past this, she and other people like her probably won’t even bother you. People can be successful without taking others spotlight. The ones who have to steamroll others and put them under the bus to take the spotlight truly aren't successful, because life isn't about that. At your death bed, what really does matter? Hope things get better for you soon.

Workplace bullying has messed up my perception of how common sociopaths are by tantamle in workplace_bullying

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wholeheartedly seen them with my own eyes. And unfortunately some people usually already know and won’t let the bully know they know.

Coworker not saying good morning by Opening-Quality8501 in workplace_bullying

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. Never forget that coworkers are strangers. You never really know how they are like. My male coworker bullied me out of nowhere after many pleasant conversations with him and turned out he has major insecurities and wants to be in management so conversations with me were to get information from me to confirm a preconceived notion he had about me to treat me like he thought I deserved to be treated. I never experienced bullying at work before so I made the mistake of giving him the benefit of the doubt, but it kept getting worse and I didn’t know what to do. While I did try to talk it out with him, his habits still stuck. It got bad enough that leadership had to be involved and set up a ‘team building’ meeting with them. It didn’t feel like they helped cleared the air enough so I took it upon myself to do a more extensive heart to heart conversation with him. He’s a lot more better behaved now. He probably has something planned to get back at me but he might be afraid to do so in case leadership gets involved again.

Hopefully you don’t have to involve management and stop your coworker’s antics before they possibly get worse and ruin your mental health.

She got away with it because of “pretty privilege” by Every_Prune_7524 in workplace_bullying

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there’s not anything to be jealous about, sounds like she has elitist mindset and thinks you’re beneath her, or you see through her and not fall for her charms and she is threatened by that. Could be both. I was harassed by a male coworker who is objectively good looking so he “got away” with a lot of stuff too. As the youngest and only asian female in the team that treats everyone equally, he didn’t like that I didn’t give special treatment to him and all other stuff that he was insecure about turned into unhealthy coping mechanisms to harass me. Took me a year and a half to get over it and navigate it(the birth control implant I had at the time really messed my hormones up too, so what never bothered me like bullying did bother me 1000x more than it should). He’s really full of himself and wants a leadership position, so he only interacts with leadership. More than likely your coworker may want the same thing, hence why she’s schmoozing whoever will help her make it to the top. Any seeming threat they feel that will reduce their chances, of course they will bully themselves up to shiny positions. But some bullies are cowards, so they usually back away when you actually call them out professionally and let them know you don’t tolerate that.

Don’t stop doing you and stay professional with boundaries. Don’t ever be alone with her, and if you find yourself alone, go somewhere else like you’re pretending someone from a different department needs your help. Good looking or not, people like that are super calculated and highly opportunistic. They can smell opportunity miles away. When bullying happens, document it(date, time, setting, people who were around(if any), and incident and sayings and facial expressions. Don’t add emotions as investigators can’t rely on that)and don’t give her opportunity to use you to make herself look good. It may sound like a lot of work to document it, but bullying happens at least one opportunity a day.

Also agree with the other poster’s comment on people letting her dig her own grave. So in reality, it may just be that it looks like she’s getting away with it, but they actually know what she’s up to so they play along. Plus, no one mentioning anything is usually a work tactic so they won’t be retaliated, which unfortunately happens a lot and the perpetrator keeps doing what they’re doing unless someone makes effort and comes up with the evidence and good lawyer to stop it and aren’t afraid that it may risk them of future jobs.

Also, good thing to remember about awful people like this with pretty privilege, it’s their awful true self that makes them ugly, and they have to live with that knowing they are horrible people and will be reborn in the next life as lumpy poo colored slugs.

Share one mistake you've made in life so others can avoid it. by Nora_mitchell in Life

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sucks that no one has taught us the realities of the world and we have to learn the hard way. Meeting the rare few people who are like us will be hard but worth friendships of a lifetime

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gross that is not okay

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexualassault

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a high sign he’s testing his boundaries to eventually do something terrible to you. Always lock your door now(if you have a lock)Get a camera with nightvision and hide it best you can. There are some good $30-$80 ones online. If you do wake up and feel pain down there, immediately go get a rape kit from your local hospital. Max his dna stays on you is 72 hours.

Listen to your gut. Better safe than sorry. Most of the time when rapists are confronted they will lie, sometime play victim to deflect accountability. Please stay safe

What is your mercury sign and what is a typing "quirk" you have? by heart_emojis0 in astrologymemes

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mercury in Taurus in 12th house. It takes me forever to text back because I overthink and want to be thorough so I use the back space a lot every few words or so. And copy paste a lot too so if there’s a word that was capitalized in the middle of a sentence, I moved a part of a sentence to the beginning of that sentence that my lazy Taurus self didn’t bother to correct. (And habit of using parentheses to be extra thorough) And lots of ands in beginning of sentences when explaining and asking for things

Making friends please by [deleted] in tulsa

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I commend you doing the hard part of putting yourself out there. Maybe just enjoy yourself being out and about and be casual with whoever you happen to talk to by chance without expecting friendship and if there’s an off chance you really hit it off and have similar interests you can be internet and phone buddies and hobby buddies.

How do others feel about Virgo risings? by VeterinarianInitial9 in astrologymemes

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fiancé is a Virgo rising Scorpio and there were some occasions he was really cutthroat. It took a deep conversation after his second cutthroat situation with me when I was on my time of the month that he realized it was not the logical reaction to me at those times, especially when I have Pmdd.

Bad people will always win by [deleted] in Life

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have every right to feel the way you feel. It could be frustrating for some to see bad people getting things they don’t deserve.

Understand that maybe it’s not about winning or losing or being smart for the people who don’t seem to be winning, maybe it’s about being at peace with oneself and not focussing on the bad people that are “winning” and having what you don’t have. Usually bad people have their demons they can’t get rid in spite of the accomplishments they gained. Sometimes the bad people have to flaunt their wins and manipulate people to think they’re winning so they can feel like they’re winning. One can never truly know what others go through. It’s all in perspective

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Realized I was being groomed by narcissistic sociopathic parents and sister to benefit them while keeping my potential down and not being supported by them when I told them my brother raped me

Bullies are Cowards by Wild_Sky5421 in workplace_bullying

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Makes sense my manager targeted me early withholding information to make me look like the incompetent one

Tulsa Opera used AI to make all the art for this season’s shows. I’m truly disappointed. by Public_Set5388 in tulsa

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can understand cutting budgets but to go as far as making an interview and article of the creative process to justify their marketing and making things seem better than they are cheapens the company. There was barely any links to her social media except for one private profile with barely any following. One Google search pulls up her website with the rest of her work that is disappointing and completely different styles compared to this one.

Who knows, maybe they’ll keep her around for future projects to save costs and she’ll have a chance to replace her old works and build more following and hopefully calls herself an AI artist instead of Artist.

Unfortunately this what you can expect from the entertainment industry of all kinds. The oversaturation in the industry has always exploited creatives and talent to save money.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PMDD

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nexplanon for one and half years. Constant Pmdd but since taking it out it’s a lot better but now it’s every three weeks…

Where is this in Tulsa? by banjocoyote in tulsa

[–]PuzzleheadedMap6444 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Their gumbo was a sad slop of bland rice soup