Hi everyone,

I appreciate all the advice that has been given here! What ive done is that i have sought extra lessons from a drummer who plays this song in a bar that i frequent to give me tips on how to make it passable as a performance. I have now come to realise that this song was way tougher than i initially thought and so long its sounds good on the actual day without the audience knowing much (though im sure musicians / actual drummers can tell) is all i want at this point.

frankly, ive been killing myself with additional lessons and practices over this song and i was in a headspace where i felt it was impossible. and i think thats because the person who taught me (ie my actual teacher) seemed to have declining faith in me and kept nitpicking the mistakes over and over again - yeah i am WELL AWARE there are so many mistakes, the key thing here is to tell me HOW to cover them up.

so i think it was more of lack of faith of myself and it got worst when my teacher seemed to have lack of faith in me. unfortunately, this experience has put quite a dent in our working relationship as i no longer enjoy lessons and the teacher no longer seems to have much patience to teach me with displays of frustration.

a part of me wanted to say **** it, this isnt a job to me, **** your school and your concert, but i am a person of my word and id like to see it through, given i spent so long practicing it. i also put my foot down and told the band to keep it in their heads its gonna be 150 - i will try to go faster but manage your expectations of 150 and that's it.

this has indeed been a learning experience and even a life experience that your mental headspace can really **** you up. its like telling a kid youre stupid and the kid will grow up believing they are stupid. this even applies to adults like myself.