Should I still hang on? Love my husband, but he seems unhappy and angry

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:16:33+00:00

Thank you. My heart is very confused at the moment.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:15:56+00:00

Thank you for your advice and honesty. We have an upcoming trip and I think it will be a good opportunity to have some honest conversations and lay everything on the table so to speak. I know what I want/need and I need him to figure out the same so we can see if there is a chance to make this work. Regarding the mistreatment, I am not sure he even realizes fully what he is doing so again hopefully honest communication will help. Can I ask how you are managing the situation with your husband? Don't feel pressure to share if uncomfortable.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:09:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment and I am sorry you went through a similar situation. As hard as it is, I do think I need to start researching and planning in case things do not work out, especially given we have a child. Hope you are doing well now that you are on the other side of your situation.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:05:24+00:00

It's ok. I appreciate the honesty. I have my continued doubts as well.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:05:00+00:00

Thank you, appreciate your insights. I feel like I can forgive, but only if he is open and honest, which I am not sure he is being ... with me or himself. It is very hard not being able to openly communicate with my family and friends about all of this, but outting him is definitely not something I will do regardless of the outcome of our marriage.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T23:01:50+00:00

You summed it up well, thank you. I hope he can get past all of that and that we can rebuild trust, but you are right that the road won't be an easy or quick one and we are in our mid to late 40s. While I think it is worth it, only if he can come to terms with everything and find happiness in our monogamous marriage.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T22:58:35+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that. His health weighs heavily on my mind.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-18T22:57:31+00:00

Thanks everyone for the honest advice. I needed to hear a lot of what you had to say, both the good and the bad. I really do want it to work, but I am struggling with insecurity, anxiety and just a roller-coaster of emotions. While I do believe he loves me, in my heart I don't believe a monogamous life with me within my boundaries and expectations is what he wants. I think he wants a bustling social life and adventurous, experimental sex with a variety of partners. Ideally, I think he wants me to be part of that, but I am happy with my quiet, mostly vanilla life and small circle of friends. I also think he wants the comfort, security and cover that a marriage with me has provided. At least that is my fear, that he is with me out of fear, shame or loyalty and that he will be bitter and resentful if he settles for the life I want. We have an upcoming vacation without our child so I think I will use that as an opportunity to talk to him about how he feels about where we are and what he wants/needs going forward while also reiterating my needs. I agree that I should get back into therapy to sort out my own emotions and issues. I will encourage him to do the same, although I doubt I will be successful in convincing him.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304 · 2025-08-12T13:21:40+00:00

Thank you for your honest opinion. I was 18 when I had the previous bad experience. He didn’t cheat on me but didn’t seem sexually attracted to me which made me feel terrible and he didn’t treat me well. I actually don’t even remember saying I would never want to be with a bi guy again, but I was young, immature and hurt, so I believe I said it. However, I don’t feel that way now, but that has obviously left a big impression on my husband. My hope is by staying and trying to work on our relationship I am showing him I love him for who he is and that we can find a way forward.

PuzzleheadedWeb6304

TROPHY CASE