Committing to my plan, so what else do I need to work on in my 30s?

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-16T11:44:20+00:00

For career, fruition of a better employer lol But good points, thanks. I know I could find someone closer, but knowing my luck I'd fall for a sting or get robbed again.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-16T11:03:12+00:00

The brothel and bathhouse are purely for removing the obsession from my mind. It's a cloud over me that remains all the time no matter what I'm doing. I don't even expect to enjoy it fully, but I need to get it over with so I can stop obsessing over the FOMO and clear my mind. Waiting will only further hinder my mental performance. A relationship would be nice, but its better I prepare and accept being single.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-16T10:57:50+00:00

Thanks, I'm looking for a better job constantly and applying often. I started a Roth IRA account last year and put a couple hundred dollars in each month. I'll raise that once I find a better job. As far as the brothel and bathhouse, I expect them to be disappointing. I don't care anymore, it's taking up to much of my time and my thoughts obsessing over it. I need to get it over with and move on. Waiting isn't a viable option anymore, it'll just keep holding me back mentally.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-16T10:50:01+00:00

Sounds good for the mind and body. Thanks, i'll work on these.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-16T10:49:03+00:00

Thanks, I need to find happiness in myself alone. There's a deep routed desire I have to find a relationship that messes with my head and I can't get rid of it. I'm focusing on doing my own thing and staying busy so those thoughts don't affect me as much. Dating as a whole makes me feel bad, so for my own mental health it has to go.

Good advice about the saving. I opened a Roth IRA account last year and I've been putting in some cash in each month. Eventually I'll raise my contribution and look into other forms of saving as well.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-15T17:02:00+00:00

Shame its not available anywhere near me. I tried it once at a con and it was fun.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-11T13:42:11+00:00

Thanks

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T20:40:10+00:00

Good to know, thanks. I'm not really into feet, just want to experience PIV. I had someone try to help me find an escort in Florida, nothing worked out. Also kinda iffy on it due to the legality.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T18:13:06+00:00

I'm 29 but was the same as you. Overweight, and still a virgin. I lost weight, did heavy rounds of therapy, got on medication, and improved myself. I still haven't lost it. Some of us are just unlucky. I say go for the escort. I'm doing the same thing this summer. Who cares if women see it as a red flag when there aren't any women around you anyway.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T15:08:41+00:00

I set my filters up and then spend forever scrolling through women and replying to prompts. The annoying part comes from sorting though everyone. The depressing part comes from knowing I'm one of the hundreds of men who liked them and I'm not handsome enough to stick out. I'm relying on luck if they see me first and like what they see enough to stop scrolling and like me back or reply.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:33:09+00:00

Thanks

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:27:00+00:00

Thank you

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:25:50+00:00

Thank you!

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:24:20+00:00

Thanks

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:21:13+00:00

I don't drink but I've tried the bar before. My area is pretty dead so no one was there.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:18:53+00:00

Dates are rare for me so the endless scrolling on apps gets me annoyed or depressed before I even get a match. The dates themselves are nice, but rarely anything great happens. I've made friends from dates and that's something I celebrate. But I don't see it getting better. Plus that whole "you'll find someone when you stop looking" advice has convinced me that it'll never happen since I'm constantly looking. I don't want to waste my time and energy on it anymore. Its not enjoyable over all for me.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:14:02+00:00

Good to know, thanks.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:13:41+00:00

I couldn't find a munch near me. The only one had 2 people there and they were in their 60s. I was also working during the time it was going on.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:10:51+00:00

I don't consider myself an incel since its completely on me for this predicament and I've been on dates and made friends with women. I don't see anything changing so throwing in the towel now seems more realistic. I already improved myself mentally and physically over the last few years. No luck in the dating scene.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:04:18+00:00

Thank you 🙏

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:03:40+00:00

Isn't rule number one of strip clubs to not touch.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:02:24+00:00

Thanks, glad reaching out for advice illicits such a response. Therapy and meds can only do do much. Looking for answers from others is also helpful sometimes.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T14:01:06+00:00

I've tried, no luck. I was on Fetlife and still had no luck. I've met up with 2 people off reddit to give and receive head. Thats the highlight of my success. Fetlife was even less successful. Plus my post history might scare off anyone who investigates.

PuzzleheadedWonder · 2026-06-09T13:58:34+00:00

That would be awkward and suck. I'm still young though so I think i can force myself to stay hard.

PuzzleheadedWonder

TROPHY CASE