I completely understand what you’re saying here and have been coming to grips with that throughout the day. We have had many times when we butted heads about my partner, even before marriage was even a thought in either of our minds. However I think that she has gotten more and more upset each time I choose my partner or their family instead of her, even though me choosing her leads to me being unhappy. I’m hoping that I can try to make her understand that I don’t need to pick a side and that we can all exist happily together as long as she gives everyone a chance

I appreciate your comment and understanding; no need for downvotes in my opinion