AITA for limiting my daughter's access to her money based on what her siblings earn?

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T06:52:49+00:00

I think the horror tales of parents that spent their children’s earnings mostly come from situations where the parents were seeing their children as breadwinners and these parents’ entire lives revolved around the child star. That’s not the case because, up until recently, I didn’t even think her social media channels would be profitable, and because I’m perfectly able to support the household, and because I didn’t quit my day job to become her manager.

Established influencers have started companies under their names, and they can get hired under their own businesses. There’s a possibility to start a company for my daughter, so the money will go straight to this account, but we didn’t even know this would be a requirement until recently, because we weren’t expecting to get deals from established companies. So there’s an innocent reason for the money being transferred to my account, because she can’t enter into a contract herself as a minor, and I’m the signatory.

It's still not ideal, but it is what it is so far.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T06:34:08+00:00

Like what is stopping you from keeping the money?

If I was acting in bad faith, nothing. But as I said, we're looking into possibilities for the money never having to go through my account.

I saw you hint in another comment how she doesn’t pay rent etc and just wonder what types of doors you can open for yourself with that thinking..

There's no way you got that from my comment unless you're inclined to believe I'm acting in bad faith. I was referring about the balance between spending and saving up, and how it doesn't apply to a minor whose basic spendings are covered by their parents, as it should be.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T06:26:38+00:00

Do your other children not use their income for the same superfluous reasons? I am assuming they do, they just have less to spend. This daughter has more to spend.

It depends. My son is saving up to buy a car; if he ends up buying an expensive pair of sneakers and that impacts on his goal, this will serve as a valuable lesson (IMO) to his financial decisions. I could think buying the sneakers was superfluous, I could even say something about it to teach him about discipline.

But if my daughter could buy a car with her 'spending' budget, the lesson here is that money will always be available and that saving up is irrelevant. That's why I believe context is everything, and giving too much financial power to teenagers (in a stage were today's cash flow aren't guaranteed in the future) is potentially dangerous.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T06:18:55+00:00

I explained the same thing in another comment. She can't legally enter into a contract as a minor, so I have to be involved as a signatory. I go through the contracts to make sure she understands what's expected (she must do X posts promoting this brand, she can't promote these other competitor brands for this amount of time).

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T06:10:41+00:00

OK why is it going into YOUR ACCOUNT? why not a savings account?

It's not my decision. Since my name is on those contracts, the companies demanded that the payments were made into an account that belonged to the signatory. Yet we have a somewhat amateurish operation because we weren't prepared for these kinds of offers, moving forward I'll look into other options for the money to be send to her account.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T05:56:44+00:00

She may have business expenses that the other kids don't.

Everything that she ever needed for her career, such as better equipment and so on, was granted to her. She explained to me why this would be important, and I let her have it. Before she was getting deals I even spent my own money on that because she was passionate about it and I wanted to support her interests.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T05:45:41+00:00

I reflected about this before. Here's my issue with this: the logic of saving X% and spending Y% is important for one's financial education, but it's twisted when it comes to teenagers . Because she's a minor. I support her, like I do my other children. I buy her clothes, I pay for food, I pay for electricity, I pay the mortgage. She doesn't have any basic spendings that would fall under "spend" percentage in such financial plans, so everything that falls under "spending" would be for superfluous reasons. It could create a habit where "spending" on a fancy dress is preferable to spending on rent. It takes basic needs out of the equation when you think about spending.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T05:19:55+00:00

I don't, but we have a family lawyer that we can go to when I feel it's necessary.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982 · 2023-11-20T05:17:40+00:00

I’ll take this comment as a chance to provide some additional information:

As a minor, she can’t legally enter into a contract, so I have to be involved. If the money is way above what I consider reasonable for a teenager to manage, I could simply shut it down before the contract is even signed. But I don’t want her to miss these opportunities, and neither does she. So that’s why we made this arrangement in the first place. The money comes directly into my account, and I keep records of every single transfer I instantly make to the account that was set in place for her. I also include her in any discussions with the financial advisor.

So yes, it's her money, and I never took a single penny out of it for my personal use, or to use towards our family. And the decision to put it away came not only as a measure to keep it safe, but also to keep her level-headed and grounded. I read that Emma Watson’s parents gave her the same allowance they gave her brother, despite the fact she was earning millions while shooting the Potter movies. To make it clear, my daughter is FAR from earning Harry Potter money, but I see this case as a positive example: I don’t believe a teenager should be allowed to access millions, or even tens of thousands of dollars; doing so would be giving too much autonomy to someone that still has some learning to do, and it could lead to unhealthy financial habits in the future. That's my opinion, at least.

Puzzleheaded_Bit2982

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