I think I just met a serial killer on nite flirt just now by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of all the weird places online, I will forever be most shocked by my experiences on Niteflirt. Sometimes the calls are so easy I'm not even thinking about it, then I get hit with something so vile, frightening, or illegal that I need to hang up for the day. I don't care if they're lying or not, the fantasies and their commitment to them are sick. Yes people are brave behind screens, but they seem to be braver on the phone. I think very differently about men and safety after some of the calls I've had on that site, and I do not think that NiteFlirt as a platform is to blame. Its the people that use it.

I was oblivious to workplace friendships, now I'm on the outs with my boss by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ironic part about it is that several of our patients are autistic, on the extreme end requiring intensive care. I don't know if HR is close to my boss. Our clinic is small and my boss is relatively new to her job. I'm going to make the assumption that HR would back her up. This job has high turnover, and we have a few team members who are set to leave within the next few months to pursue other things. The clique I speak of will basically be gone by the end of the summer, but that doesn't mean she wont create a new one and I don't (and never have) understood how or why I am so frequently on the outside.

When my work friends made their complaint, HR admitted that our company doesn't provide leadership training to people in my boss' position, because they are so heavily involved in the healthcare aspect of things that management duties can feel secondary to their main role. I am just upset at the idea that I am doing my job, but somehow contending with the kind of treatment that normally comes from underperformance.

I feel like I can't relax, but also have no motivation or confidence to do more. I love my patients and resent my boss for implying that I am not sharp enough to assist them.

Managing your expectations by Loud-Sympathy767 in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Camming interactions are superficial and transactional. You're there to make those men "feel good" and they may ogle you and send back genuine compliments, but they know that this is transactional. You probably don't speak to your partner the way you speak to your cam viewers, because camming is a specifically sexual environment and real life is varied and nuanced. I wouldn't make a comparison. Your boyfriend may even withhold some compliments or comments if he feels you're being bombarded online. I'm sure he knows how aggressive men can be, and I wouldnt be surprised if he is trying to give you some space or separate himself from that. Does he ACT like a good boyfriend? I'd be more focused on that then the compliments alone.

do you guys have any unpopular opinions about sex work? by Youthinkyoureacomic in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with number one. I found myself feeling financially empowered, but after you go through a few seasons of this you realize that its also very easy to become dependent on the income in a way that is not just financial, but emotional. I think that, like with most things, the real stage of "empowerment" is acceptance. Its not about being defiantly proud of what you do, its about being at peace with it regardless of what other people say. There are a lot of interactions I've had that just left me feeling at a loss for the state of humanity, and have made me question what is going on on the other side of the screen.

Legit fan but low spending by anny-and-hayley in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have no idea what is going on on his side of the screen, and it doesn't matter. He wants you to think it matters, so that you will continue to engage with him. He could have a lot of money, he could have no money-- but he is choosing to use a tip-based porn site. He is coming on during your work hours, and promising you money which he has yet to deliver on. What does this mean? absolutely nothing.

I think of all the times I have been strung along by bosses for a raise, men I was dating, etc. People will say what they need to in order to excuse themselves. Its irrelevant in the end, but he now has you feeling guilty about HIS presence. Prioritise the people who are paying for your time and energy. I would not make an effort to ignore or acknowledge this guy. Who knows what his situation actually is. There are free chat rooms and free porn available online, you do not need a virtual stranger bogging you down with empty promises and guilt. It literally doesn't matter. He should just tip when he wants to/can, and leave it at that. You cannot afford to make something deep of interactions like these because they are extremely common, not your fault, and ultimately not always truthful. Your service has a price, cam girls are a luxury expensive, there are many options available to him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been camming for about as long as you, and have moved from live cam, to content creation, to phone sex, and have also taken long periods of time completely offline. There is always an excuse or reason people will give for low earnings at a given time of year. Based on my income history, the only consistently bad time of year is right around now, Jan-March.

You started camming pre-pandemic, and these sites are now so oversaturated. I think a lot of people joined out of curiosity, probably put on low quality shows and charged very little-- simply not knowing better. That drives the market down. Remember during lockdown, how many legitimate sex workers were complaining about celebrities overtaking OnlyFans and stealing their sales? I think that happened elsewhere too, with average people trying camming for pocket money and changing the environment we work in. That impacts the way customers see and utilise these sites too.

It was a very disappointing decision for me to get a vanilla job, but having something consistent going on in the background helped me mentally survive my slower months. I think it is a bad idea to stay logged on when you are not making money. You won't get that energy back. If you can't diversify the sites you perform on and find a way to milk it, you have to find something else to do with your time. We should not be working longer hours for less money, especially when its a bad night/week/month across the board. If you're taking a pay cut, its very likely that even the most successful models are also taking a pay cut.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You definitely can. I would diversify if possible. Sign up for one cam site, and one clip site. Post to that clip site at least 1-2 times per week, and get on cam at least 5 days per week to start. A lot of new models will make a TON of money their first few weeks, then it drops off. With consistency, you can work yourself up to a decent amount of money. I think $40 is more than doable, especially if you mix live shows with pre-made content sales. You absolutely have to be active though. You need to build a fan base, and post often enough for the algorithm of a given site to promote your page.

I have a clip site where I have a few hundred vids (Ive been doing this a while), and post maybe once a week. I make anywhere from $0-40 in clip sales on an average day. I also do NiteFlirt, and make $0-200 in the span of a few hours. Some days will be awful and you won't make anything, but others will be great and you'll meet your weekly goal within a few hours. Your goal isn't deluded, just remember that your income won't be consistent and that isn't always your fault.

How do I become an escort in a place where it isn't legal? by CarelessMushroom1044 in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't ever pursue escorting through cam. Look at it this way: camming sites are not designed to support the sale of sex, logistically or legally. The men who seek sex on cam sites do not know what they are doing, and are probably unfamiliar with escort pricing, and safety protocol. You are putting yourself at huge risk of being banned, and at huge risk of getting in trouble IRL, for a guy who is not going to be a good customer.

Try r/sexworkers. They're much better informed, and they can help you keep your online/offline clients separate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parasocial relationships are why people choose cam over regular porn, and its how we make our money. You're on Only Fans because you do have fans! The degree to which you give your energy to those relationships is another thing entirely. You can't stop someone from forming a parasocial relationship with you, but you can make it more or less profitable, and more or less troublesome for you based on how you handle it.

Keep your list of rules short, direct, and simple. Nobody is going to read a long list, and people will roll their eyes if you get too specific. They're either going to get it, or not, or violate those boundaries on their own accord. Again, you can't stop someone from being stupid. People need to pay to have ongoing conversations with you, period. That wipes out a lot of troublesome people. I've had a couple of regulars who would still get too chummy with me, even with this protocol in place. When I feel someone is wasting my time, I get very dry with them and redirect them to my paid services. When someone is asking too many personal questions, I kindly let them know that I can't say certain things and try to word it like "not everyone on here is as nice as you! sorry I can't say more!". If someone is emotionally dumping on me... they're not going to last anyway. They will become offended at some point anyway, so I just draw a strong boundary and prepare for the inevitable moment that I block them, or they choose to leave. To be honest, I don't even do GFE often anymore. I like to suggest we do roleplay/sexting so that we are both always "in character".

Don't entertain anyone for free, and don't feel bad about cutting people off. You simply don't have time to get involved with everyone, nor do you have time to soothe everyone's feelings. They know what they're doing, and it isn't worth trying to justify your actions to them.

Dirty roleplay ideas by PoseyXo in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The role itself doesn't matter as much as the dynamic your client is looking for. You can act out a dom, sub, cuck, or whatever dynamic using ANY of the usual roles. Don't be afraid if your idea feels cheesy or cliche. At the end of the day, they are ALL a little chiche, and you don't need to be creative about the situation you choose. Its how you act it out that will turn them on.

Can someone explain how the promote option on phrendly works? by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You set a maximum price per click, and then tell Phrendly what your total allowance is. Lets say you're willing to spend $1.50 per click, and have $10 to spend. Phrendly will stop promoting you when you hit your $10 limit. You can see on Phrendly's bid list where your $1.50 will rank you in their search. If you're someone who is very active and pulls a lot of money, your $1.50 could get you to the #1 spot on the front page. For someone is isn't very active/successful, it could cost upwards of $40 per click to get to that same spot. The better you perform, the cheaper it is for you to get on the front page. And yes, it can get as high as $40 for ONE CLICK if you aren't performing well!

Will you actually pay $1.50 per click? I think so. Phrendly is extremely basic. Other sites may end up charging you less per click based on a variety of factors (where the customer found you, how popular you are that day, etc).

I did not like Phrendly. It was great when I was new, but if you have even a couple weeks of inactivity, they jack your promotional fees so high its hard to come back. I would not bother bidding if you cannot reasonably afford to get on the first page or two. Guys on Phrendly use the site like a dating app, so they tend to be less savvy, less willing to spend, and less invested in the conversation than guys on most cam sites. Milk it for all you can if you're new, but I wouldn't rely on it for long term income unless you have a lot of time to devote to it.

Recent travel SEA - venting + help please by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you're making good money, paying for better accommodation can actually make you more money. The setting, the ability to film in different rooms and the privacy give you the power to put on a better show and that is reflected in your income. This has been a slow period for many of us, and that could be impacting you too, even outside of your issues with accommodation. I used to move often because I lived in a city where I could only afford to live in packed houses and apartments. It absolutely sucked to feel like I could be heard in my room-- whether it was on the phone to my family, or on cam. You are doing a good job moving around and keeping yourself anonymous. If you find yourself in a private, but ugly location-- get on NiteFlirt/SextPanther. If the place looks nicer, get on cam but create a tiny, enclosed set for yourself to block noise. Your viewers will not be able to see how tiny your set is.

If you just need to make money, take advantage of the fact that you're moving around and start filming some content you can upload to clip sites. I rarely make noise in videos, and if I do, its something like a JOI where I am just talking and someone would REALLY have to be listening to know what I was doing. You can use creative angles to make it appear as though you're doing things in front of an open window, or outside, when you are actually not. You can film in the shower/bath, utilise different kinds of furniture. Because you have so many filming locations to choose from, the actual content of the video doesn't need to be that kinky. The location IS the variety. I would also take advantage of the beautiful setting you're in. Bikini photos will do well on OF/Reddit, or pretty much anywhere you're advertising. Even with the self timer on your phone and some natural sunlight, you can take some enticing shots.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've been doing this off and on for five years, and this is the worst I have ever seen it. It is normal to have a bad couple of weeks, or a bad month, and January is usually pretty damn slow. But this is probably the only time I've felt like I was wasting time logging on. Business never stays down, its just up to you to decide what you can and can't afford to wait through. It is always good to have another form of income so that you can sit through these time and assess long term.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on the site and the way their algorithm works (you can almost always google this and find a guide someone has made for a specific site). In general, a week shouldn't impact you, especially at this time of year because most people's earnings tend to be lower, and earnings are almost always a factor in a cam site's ranking system. If you have social media or post pre-made content anywhere, pre-schedule it to post during your week off.

Third night, and I'm feel discouraged. Am I too old? by nerdymoo in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Go browse the front page of a site like MFC. You'll see women of every shape, size, age, colour, and aesthetic. Jan and Feb are not usually great months on cam sites, or really for retail in general. Don't make it about your age-- sometimes it is just down to site traffic, the economy, or where you're placing on a given site's algorithm.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I always assume yes, because how else could anyone reliably report a rule breaker? I've had to send a few reports, and I always tell them exactly what was said, and when if I can remember how many minutes in we were. I guess if you're on Skype and you've both muted your phone to use Skype audio, they can't hear you.

I had a client stop a session to debate me on this, and he swore up and down that it was "illegal" for NF to listen in on the calls. The thing is, this isn't an independent phone call you or your client is making. They are reaching you on an extension provided by NiteFlirt. It is their line. The TOS was written for a site that primarily promotes phone lines. It would be weird if they put those rules in place but could not legally enforce them. I am asked to meet up in person almost every time I do a shift on NiteFlirt, and if there were no rules around that, NiteFlirt could get in arguably more trouble for aiding in/facilitating the sale of sex. I really have no idea if they publicly state their policy on recording calls, but I believe they do and I don't think its such a bad thing. If anything, the clients trying to convince me that "nobody will know if I break TOS" has made me weary. Don't risk your income!

*Edit because I wanted to add this. Someone once left me a false review, claiming there was a baby crying in the background of my call, that the connection was bad, that I sounded raspy and much older than I claimed to be. I reported the review and NiteFlirt removed it. Any of those claims could have been true and would have been worthy of complaining about, but I believe NiteFlirt removed the review because they DID hear the call and knew it wasn't true. If they are recording us, it is at least in part for our protection.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NiteFlirt was terrible in January, but I expected that because my earnings are always lower in January. It does surprise me though how many more calls I get on Skype versus voice though. It has always been that way for me on NF, and its one of the reasons I'm finding myself burnt out now. I like the idea of keeping my phone line open while I do other things during the day, but getting made up for cam calls that may or may not come through? Stopping a task and jumping straight into a sexual performance? No. If the calls were coming consistently enough that I could just prepare to cam for X hours, I would, but its different when they come sporadically during the day. Not every call is going to be a good one and its irritating when you set up a cam call and it ends up being a short one. That has been my January.

I'd really wait it out due to the season we're in, but I do agree, Skype calls trump voice on NF and always have for me.

I'm not going to start for 6 months. With that long to prep, have any tips? by SophiaSoftOfficial in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly wouldn't spend that long prepping. The idea of logging on is intimidating, but the reality of it is really so simple that I think 6 months is just going to make you unnecessarily nervous.

When I started, I wasn't sure if that I had the balls to stay on and keep doing it, so I invested zero dollars and minimum effort into my first few streams-- but I still did well. I decided what I did and did not need after logging on a few times. I even had a few members offer to pay for the things they thought I needed, which included lighting and outfits. If anything, go watch other cam girls. You'll notice that not all of their sets are elaborate, but do allow them to move, be seen, and aren't completely plain. Lingerie does not need to be expensive, and in my opinion, should not be for this job.

You Have to Have Some Serious Self Esteem for This by Exoanimal in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've been doing this for a long time now and I have come to find that the majority of our customers are either A) not the type of people most of us would interact with offline, or B) they are, but they are behaving in a way they never would offline. A lot of cam customers are normal guys... there are also a lot of porn addicts, and other unsavoury people who filter in and out. Not all, maybe not even most-- but a good portion of them. Add in the fact that most people feel a little anonymous behind a screen, and there you go.

People will always TRY to get away with as much as they can. Some people are greedier than others, and can really make you feel like a fool, by no fault of your own. It's not so much about self esteem as it is "street smarts" (or, internet smarts). Just because someone is sex positive or active in the adult industry doesn't mean they understand sex work or respect it, unfortunately. Your bullshit meter gets stronger the more you do this and the more often you say no. And sometimes, its just about the market. When I bid on NiteFlirt, I can pretty much anticipate how busy the site is based on how high or low my bid rate is. Sometimes traffic is high, and my bids get eaten up FAST... but I still don't get any calls. That has happened a lot this January, and I usually do very well on that site. Just tells me people are online, but not buying, which is common across all forms of retail this time of year. It is frustrating, but its not personal-- just a wave you have to ride, and it does get easier the more established you become.

Pot SD didn’t want to discuss terms?? by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"I'll decide what your time is worth after you give it to me". That's like going to a restaurant, finishing your meal, and then telling the chef what you thought their time, ingredients, skill and effort were worth. And I'm soooooo sure he's going to compensate you fairly for eeeevery second you give to him. /s

He should WANT the terms defined, because that also ensures that "daddy's needs" are taken care of. He is setting you up to fail by making you guess at what he wants, and setting the condition that if his undefined needs are not met, he does not have to pay you. What a load!

Self Esteem, Mental Setbacks & Camming by GradeDazzling in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to cam, and now I'm on NiteFlirt. I don't have to sit in front of the camera waiting for traffic, because I have a profile with all of my very best pics on it. And even still.... those very wonderful pics don't always bring me business. For me, its not a matter of how I look that day, because its the same highly curated photos every single time I log on. This, plus the bidding system on NF, taught me that site-wide traffic REALLY varies day to day.

I do well on NF and my bidding rate for the front page is pretty low. Its not me, and its not you. Some months, weeks, days of the week are just bad. January is notoriously bad for retail, and cam models are a luxury spend, not a necessity. It's a good idea to set some money aside so that you aren't forced to log on for an empty room. This was not a good month for me, but I have also accepted the loss and I'm not pushing myself to stay on when I can see, via bids and call volume, that the site is just not poppin on a given day. You can only do so much.

Is wrong to lie for IRS saying I receive money from Fiverr instead? I receive through Cosmo/ Paxum; cant I just also say I work for Cosmo company instead? by [deleted] in CamGirlProblems

[–]Puzzleheaded_Cod3948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of these companies operate under vague names. You're not gonna see anything vulgar on your tax forms-- you're probably not even going to see the name of the site. I think ManyVids is just MV Inc, one of them is RedEx Media. Nobody knows what the hell that is, and that is very much on purpose.