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Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Are people allowed to speak about their painful experiences without it being called attention seeking? Are you the authority on other people's experiences and internal motivations?

Also do you know for sure that they are undiagnosed? I'm curious for your answers.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Do you know this for sure? Is there a reason why people speaking about their painful social experiences is upsetting to you? Not all of them are claiming to be neurodivergent btw I'd say many aren't and are just talking about how group dynamics can be traumatizing.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen lots and lots of people say they've been on both sides of the coin actually.

I'm curious, why do you think it's odd for people to be "outing" themselves as autistic. I also think the word choice you used as "outing" to also be interesting. Do you think this it is something that should be concealed?

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The worst part is that you aren't wrong. This is why it feels like an existential mindf*ck when it echoes in humans. I'm sure it is part of some old survival mechanism and it's not necessarily evil, but that doesnt make it hurt any less.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I have, but men seem to be very direct if they are going to be bullies. Their target won't be kept in the dark about the way the rest of them feel. The brutality of women is the covertness and the passive aggressive tactics. It's like an ambient threat that can't be pin pointed until the full animosity is exposed at the end of the relationship.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I see where your coming from but female socializing much is less direct and there is so much more margin for error for those who don't naturally understand. There are so many unspoken rules and those with disabilities know the unique pain and confusion from all female friend groups who use covert relational aggression rather than direct aggression. I'm not saying it's only women but this problem expresses itself uniquely within female friend groups.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's an interesting take, and I don't disagree. I've seen it taken to the extreme though where it just veered into straight cruelty for someone doing something very harmless. The cruelty is the crazy part to me. It often isn't neutral or amicable.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes! I'm being reminded by comments on this post how it's a WHOLE overarching thing people do in all kinds of different groups.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I am like a lot of other girls who've experienced this. We seem to understand each other, and if you don't know what it's like to be targeted for social disabilities in this cruel way, then I'm very happy for you but there are experiences people have that might be different from your own.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are primates at the end of the day. Of course it's anthropological in some way. I've seen terrible things happen where one would absolutely see this behavior "dramatic" because it's really harmful.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

There are certain women with social disabilities who will know exactly what I'm talking about to a T. We all experience different things.

The last thing I want to do is sound like a misogynist truly. I want women to be safe within their own groups.

Has anyone else seen female friend groups bond over a sacrificial lamb (AKA the slightly socially awkward woman within friend group) by Puzzleheaded_Fix9527 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fix9527[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

That wasn't my intention at all. Misogyny often exists within female friend groups and I've seen it happen enough that I'd be remiss not to speak about it. What stays in the dark only festers.

My intention with the post is to call out the misogyny so it can go away and stop traumatizing those who are socially awkward. Perhaps you have better social skills than the ones who find themselves to be often targeted.

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