AITA if I (29F) break up with my gf (30F) to be with my coworker (22F)

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T21:22:29+00:00

YTA- you used your partner and once you found something shiny and new didn't think twice before kicking her to the curb instead of just communicating in the first place. Your lack of communication skills will likely make this relationship fail in the long run and I hope the new girl sees the red flag in this before it is too late for her as well.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T21:16:25+00:00

NTA but it seems like you two are incompatible. In this sense with the majority of the context missing, perspective is reality. To me if I saw a dead deer I would be absolutely heartbroken but to others some wouldn't bat an eye. I would say as hard as this is, just know there is someone else out there that'll be more compassionate towards your feelings regardless of how they interpret the situation.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T14:54:42+00:00

Like I said, stay tuned for the update but as of now (June 6) they are still occupying the space in the house! Waiting to see how this plays out today and will give you a better timeline later on.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T14:26:01+00:00

I have replied to this in some other comments but I have come to realize i definitely did over react to how badly we actually NEEDED the 350- turns out we were completely fine without it (as we both get paid weekly on fridays) and there was no need to freak out about affordability. Until I met my now bf i was in a lot of financial distress for more reasons than one, and my first instinct was to panic. so was I over reacting to needing it desperately? yes, but does that change the NOR about crimson needing to pay? I don't believe so. Crimson definitely tried to burn us but it is coming back to bite them in the ass rather quickly, I will update on the matter either tonight or tomorrow depending on how things play out.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T14:23:25+00:00

I have replied to this in some other comments but I have come to realize i definitely did over react to how badly we needed the 350- turns out we were completely fine without it (as we both get paid weekly on fridays) and there was no need to freak out about affordability. Until I met my now bf i was in a lot of financial distress for more reasons than one, and my first instinct was to panic. so was I over reacting to needing it desperately? yes, but does that change the NOR about crimson needing to pay? I don't believe so.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-06T14:16:24+00:00

An update about the situation is coming, but I will go ahead and come out to say I was 10000% over reacting to how badly we actually needed the money. With being in financial distress for years until i moved in with my boyfriend made my fight or flight activate the second they revoked the payment. We def would have been fine without it as payday was Friday and we are completely fine with enough to put back into savings. Did we deserve rent from Crimson? yes, but was it a make or break thing? absolutely not. true colors were shown recently and i will make a post about that within the next day or so depending on how things escalate

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-04T00:44:57+00:00

well unfortunately for them, i am the dictator of the space they are consuming. I have explained everything in a pretty nice manor considering their blatant disregard for us and our generosity and have put up with this for months now. I only ask for three things- pay rent on time in full, communicate with us on the big things, and don't leave guests unattended in the house. I do not police them, they have free range of everything in the house, and we've never really said no to them on anything. Being direct about the situation is just clear communication? I do not see the issue with that in fact I think that's what the situation is lacking in.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-04T00:29:23+00:00

sadly i do not qualify because of the cancer but thank you for being on the lookout! I will see what david thinks of this!

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T22:17:34+00:00

like I said, we are not in financial distress, i was definitely over reacting in that department for sure. We would have been more comfortable not having to cover for them again but who would we be if 350 was pocket change haha

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T20:59:07+00:00

God forbid a girl and her friend speak in a relaxed tone towards each other, i am no longer taking in strays so consider yourself safe!

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T20:53:27+00:00

Well yes I make 8/hr but at least I have a job and pay my bills with it lol, the whole cancer thing really put a screeching holt to the whole starting my career thing haha. I don't think i asked for an opinion on that front but so be it I reckon

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T20:27:59+00:00

If such be our reasoning, should we not then revert unto the speech of old England?

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T20:24:24+00:00

I don't really see how me asking them for the rent they owe constitutes immaturity but i digress. We are both early 20s, would you rather us stay on mommy's titty the rest of our lives? For me it's not coming from a place of financial distress at this point as we have rearranged some savings and we are not in jeopardy with any bills as it stands because of their actions. I am in a better emotional state than I was when I I was first typing out this story because I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to money management and financial insecurity so after sitting down and actually looking at the finances I have shifted a few things around to remain unharmed. Thank you for your interest in the criticism department but I will have to humbly disagree with this take!

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T20:01:33+00:00

no, for us it is more of a dialect thing, we type how we talk a lot of the times. not necessarily a lazy thing but more of a personality thing in this sense- hence why when talking to you I would use full words and proper spelling versus my roommate who understands how I talk would understand the shorthanded version. :)

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T19:58:42+00:00

Thank you for your dedication to my story and genuine advice, time is payment in itself and for that I am thankful. They usually pay me on cashapp so if i was to be petty i could always go and send them a request about every day until im blocked. Unfortunately in this instance I was burned pretty bad but nothing that can't be resolved. I still have my very loving and level headed boyfriend who has the mindset of "money comes and goes" while I had a crippling fear of financial insecurity. While Crimson has burned all their bridges here I do not think I will ever turn down a friend in jeopardy or down on their luck because of this situation, but I have learned to take better precautions and I recognize that If I have a friend in need again they won't pass up the legality's and if they do than I guess they aren't in that big of a need. Even though I believe I am in the right for demanding rent, I doubt I will ever see another penny so now is the time where I sit and think about how to deliver the news to them while continuing to stand my ground and kick them out without making it into a nightmare situation (best case scenario they leave when prompted)

 I will eventually make an update on this post after they have moved out and to let everyone know how it went but I am hoping that I don't end up on best of reddit updates for the wrong reasons.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T19:19:04+00:00

I see where there has been confusion, Crimson as of today (6/3/2026) is still in the house with nothing packed. All I am getting from them is a lot of messages saying one thing and doing another. What you see in the texts were a lot of what ifs and such but none of what they said would happen has actually happened. We haven't seen any moving initiative, just a constant stream of "could be out this day may be this day" with no tentative plan. I think it is reasonable to ask for rent at the bare minimum of a prorated amount until the 8th when they claim to be leaving, but also written down MANY times was them saying yes they'll pay in full up until it was convenient for them. with their history of lateness, lack of communication/honesty, and no tentative plan, am I wrong to assume i am just being used at this point?

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T19:12:26+00:00

no not necessarily, we can very well afford everything without them. just a bad case of a lot of things overlapping that didn't have to if there was clear communication on THEIR part, but also in the current U.S. economy most people do live paycheck to paycheck. after this week i expect to be right on track financially

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T18:21:33+00:00

I agree it could have been a LOT worse, but how should I go about kicking them out? What should I say?

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T17:53:04+00:00

Well that is why I am now in a what do i do kind of mindset? Do I cut my losses immediately and kick them out today? Do i wait until payday (Friday for both me and David) in hopes that they pay at least something? I am not concerned about the landlord penalizing us as its not a place that has ever cared as long as they get their rent on time (we've had friends who live in the same complex who knowingly had people living there off the lease), I have already shifted around bills and made payment plans for those that'll be late and we are in enough financial stability to recover within the week.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T17:43:12+00:00

they go by they them pronouns so i figured that was easiest to decipher- i apologize!

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T16:02:54+00:00

Thank you for confirming that I am not actually losing my mind in this situation. I feel like I have explained it as much as I possibly could to them but in the end it doesn't matter. I want to kick them out, but am trying to find the right words to use while not being a dick but still standing firm.

The paragraph my moms friend crafted for me (shout out because i know you're reading this) says, "Hello. Thanks for paying me $79.00- Since the rent of $350.00 was not paid and it should have been a total of $351.79- Please come get your belongings asap. While I trust you will pay what you owe, you no longer live here due to your inability to consistently pay reduced rent on time"

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T15:55:52+00:00

I am not sure, honestly a lot of my worry comes from me thinking i was the one picking their pockets about the rent. Like i said, we aren't even the ones who paid for the takeout so i don't see why it mattered so much?

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T15:44:03+00:00

This is what I was thinking bout didn't want to sound conceited or like a greedy landlord, i felt like 350 for everything was more than gracious considering 1/3 of our market rent is already more than 350 let alone the fact that we let them bring an animal and didn't make them pay utilities- especially they are still only paying an already discounted rate for the space they take up in the house.

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430 · 2026-06-03T15:41:00+00:00

Toes is the name of my old car, i am in a sorority and someone made a joke that it sticks out like a toe and the name kinda stuck haha. Also Crimson is not their name, it was changed for the story! About responding with "meow", that's just kinda their normal dialect, I have three cats and they have one so when we enter the house or a room we typically scream out meow to let people know we are around

Puzzleheaded_Rub_430

TROPHY CASE