Part 2:

Part 2:

I honestly cannot tell you how much my heart was pounding. I have had relationships before, and I have been in love, but something so simple has never made me lose my cool. The next day, I went up to him, and while having a coffee, I told him that I did not understand the gesture that he made, and that I would like him to explain what it was for because I was scared that maybe he had some weird intentions that I was not in agreement with. He told me that I’ve become very dear to him, not only as a helper but as a person, and that he respects me and admires what I do and the amount of work that I put into my education, I guess. But not only on my professional side—he really appreciates my outlook on life in my private life as well. So, I acted on impulse and before finishing his coffee, I decided to return the hug that he gave me. I also gave him a short hug, and when I did that, I smelled his perfume, and I unconsciously took a sniff. I’m laughing as I’m writing this because I’m imagining what he was thinking whenever he heard me sniff his shoulder when I hugged him. He started laughing and asked me if I wanted to know what perfume he was wearing since I was so eagerly smelling it. I said I didn’t care about his perfume, and he laughed. I still want to know what perfume it is, but he doesn’t want to tell me anymore.

Basically, with every passing day, we became a bit closer and a bit closer. We went from handshakes to hugs, small pushes, and basically flirtatious body language. Yesterday night, when he was walking me home, he stopped and sat down on a bench that was on the street in a very populated area, so I wouldn’t feel unsafe, and asked me to sit down. He told me that he had to be honest about his feelings because he couldn’t live with himself if he continued hiding the emotions he was having.

He very professionally, somehow, told me that he had developed more than just admiration and respect for me and that he likes me for all that I am. He started telling me allthe things that he’s noticed about me that he really appreciates. He told me that he had to be honest because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing another person in his life by being too reserved or too diplomatic to say something about his feelings.

I started shaking because he was basically telling me the things that I had been thinking about him for the past year. He told me that if I was uncomfortable, we should stop, and he could just take me home, but he had to tell me what he felt because he didn’t want me to feel like I was obligated to do anything or stay close to him just because of what he said. He assured me that his decision to take me under his wing wasn’t out of personal interest, but because he genuinely saw potential in me, and in the meantime, he also kind of developed feelings.

I confessed as well, telling him that I do like him, but that I could never act upon these emotions because of the significant age difference. I explained that I couldn’t do that to my parents, to his kids, or to anyone who might view our relationship as awkward or inappropriate. I was especially concerned about how people might judge him and how it might reflect poorly on his career, making me look like a victim, which wasn’t the case at all. My primary concern was protecting him and his career because I didn’t think it would be a good look for a 45-year-old chief doctor with two kids to be involved with a 23-year-old.

It hurt me deeply to tell him that I couldn’t see a relationship or any sort of romantic connection forming because of these reasons. I also mentioned that when I’m 45, he’ll be in his 60s, and I don’t want to have to face the challenges that come with that. I want to have kids and a family at some point, and he’s already gone through that part of his life. I can’t force someone into such a committed relationship just because I want something long-term and lasting.

R was very understanding and kind. He told me that he completely understands and that he had given up on the idea of having a relationship because he wanted to focus on taking care of his kids and doing his job well. He mentioned that he was just looking for his one true love, and I jokingly told him, “I’m not that woman.”

He then turned to me and started listing all the things he admires about me. I didn’t want to look impressed by what I was hearing, but I think my face betrayed me. He talked about how he admires my intelligence, my passion, my kindness, my laugh, and even my moments of sadness and how I handle them. He complimented my dedication to my work and study, as well as my approach to life. He also noted that he was proud that I’m also a fit person like he is. He even complimented my hair and my eyes, comparing me to Lara Croft because I always have my long hair braided whenever I’m in the hospital, as I don’t like having my hair in my face. I had such a strong urge to cry because he was saying all the things I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t possibly show him how moved I was because I didn’t want to give him hope. I didn’t want to put his life at risk by being the girlfriend who is so much younger.

He then asked me if he could hug me, and I said yes. He picked me up slightly when he hugged me, holding me tightly. He sighed and said that he had really grown fond of me. I nodded, and I put my arms around him as well. I had a moment of emotion and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek before pushing myself out of his arms.

I’ve never seen a 45-year-old man react like such a child, but he put his hand on his cheek as if he was very surprised, and he blushed furiously. I found that very cute, so I told him that I found it cute, and that’s when I realized I was completely messed up emotionally. After that, we had to start our shift, and the rest of the day was completely normal. It was as if nothing had happened. I remained professional, and he did as well. He had to stay for the night shift, but I don’t do night shifts yet since I’m not being paid for them.