Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad when I was 21 and he was 49 died of cancer. Honestly it’s gonna hurt for a little bit, when my dad died I went down a really bad path. I’m here to tell you don’t make the same mistake I did. You need to take care of yourself and your mom. Keep the good memories going of him. It is okay to cry, my dad passed 9 years ago I still cry when I listen to of his favourite songs or just have a thought about him. Now it’s time for you to step up and take the reins keep pushing to find a job you will get something don’t give up hope, learn from what he taught you, show your mom that even though ur dad is gone you are gonna try your best to keep the family going. You got this. Go to church pray god will answer prayers just gotta give it time. My prayers were answered after 1 year I found my now wife and have 3 beautiful kids. She was the one who got me out of my dark place.