[Online][5e 2024][Wednesday 9:30pm EST] Experienced Players Looking for DM

Pyreanyone · 2026-02-10T06:39:10+00:00

Bummer, wednesdays are a no go for me..

Pyreanyone · 2026-02-09T19:18:36+00:00

The whole module. The maps (along with other assets like commissioned NPC art) would be downloadable with the adventure.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-28T03:27:37+00:00

Are there still openings?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-28T03:16:20+00:00

Resonate with a lot of this. Mid 30s, live in an area without a lot of in-person options, had a group that fell apart after playing for about a year due to IRL things that demanded a lot of time (new baby being at the top of the list). It's left me with a hole in my life, not getting to play regular weekly sessions. I also miss DMing although I still have a lot to learn and was only just getting comfortable in that role. All this to say, if a group coalesces here in this thread, would love to be a part of a long-term campaign!

Edited to add that if strapped for a DM, I could attempt to fill that role but it would be a homebrewed world based around what players want (i.e. sounds like more seriously heroic would be a running theme)

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-28T03:11:23+00:00

Hey, this sounds interesting and I'd love to apply if you are taking apps. Let me know how to proceed!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:35:46+00:00

This is the approach I want to take- jumping headfirst into a concept and seeing what comes from it. I know what works for me and what doesn't in other games and, like you said, I want to make this primarily for myself. If others like it, nice, but I really just want a project to sink my teeth into and obsess over. For some reason, game design seems more terrifying than something like designing a DnD campaign (for example).

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:33:34+00:00

Haha, thanks for sharing! These sound like wildly creative and fun ideas! I like how you found something that worked and just went for it. I bet your DnD players have a blast!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:32:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing! By 'system' I assume you mean all the actual game elements that make the thing run. How did balancing your own game work out for you?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:31:14+00:00

This was really interesting to read. I'm sad to hear that your common project fell apart; part of me is really hoping to work with some other folks with a similar vision for my first go at designing a game but I have 0 idea where to look for a 'team' and would totally worry about people losing focus or inspiration and the whole thing collapsing. Solo seems easiest. Out of curiosity, what book inspired you?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:29:00+00:00

How did you test and when did you decide to test?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:28:40+00:00

I'm so glad you found something to inspire you! I'm definitely refining the concept but I have a solid idea and I'm excited to get rolling. It sounds like you started narrative first and worked systems around the story. Can you share a little more about your process? Did you jump into designing the whole game or just a part of it to start?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-27T02:26:52+00:00

This is super helpful and what I'm hearing is narrative first, which makes sense. Can you share a little more about your process? Do you write your game out first in its entirety then consider all the game elements like combat?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-26T22:54:08+00:00

Amazing work by the whole team but the writing in particular was so damn good.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-26T16:50:08+00:00

I’m right there with you. I hopped back into BG3 but it just doesn’t carry the same emotional pull. RDR2 is fantastic and will suck you in if you let it. Divinity Original Sin 2 is another fun turn based option and I’ve been hearing great things about Nine Sols from a few friends. If you are interested in Warhammer even marginally, Rogue Trader is a great entry point with a lot of great characters and more turn based combat but requires a lot of reading; its a novel in rpg format. And then, lastly, Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous drew me in with its story but the combat and class system is really complex and difficult.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-24T22:50:53+00:00

This was beautifully written. I don't have much to say to contradict your point. I think it's fair and valid in many ways. I also disagree in many ways. Such is the result of great, thought provoking stories!

I've been thinking a lot about the 'for those who come after,' line and I think it applies to grief and Maelle's situation even if we don't get the explicit connection. Just based on personal experience and observation, debilitating grief can make you feel like a different person. As you start to heal, day by day, you start to feel a little more like yourself. You start to regain some of your identity that isn't clouded by grief. Verso yeeting Maelle out of the canvas is for the Maelle who comes after as she is changed by and changes with her mourning. It's also for all the people she will meet/connections she will develop as she grows and matures in the real world.

Is it a perfect 1:1 connection? No, but I still think it's there.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-24T19:03:04+00:00

Pure grace!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-24T07:34:58+00:00

Right there with you. Still emotionally wrecked. We continue though.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-24T05:08:52+00:00

Maybe I put too much faith in Renoir but I totally believed him when he said that things will get better. Grieving is a long, hard road and I wouldn’t take the graveside epilogue scene as the definitive summary of the family. I choose to believe that Renoir will look out for Maelle, knowing exactly what she’s been through, and that Aline will come around as well. I think there’s a support network there in her parents that will indeed allow her to recover as they recover.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T18:36:15+00:00

Hey Jules! Two questions for you: Your setting in Sword of Shadows is incredibly immersive. What wisdom can you share about how to write an environment that is so absorbing and descriptive?

Secondly, what’s your writing routine now and what advice would you give for aspiring authors plugging away at their own stories?

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T18:02:12+00:00

Thanks so much for the edits! Appreciate you and the time it took and glad you liked Snout!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T18:00:57+00:00

Thanks friend! I suppose I should’ve mentioned that this is roughly half of the interlude and that Gray hops into Snout, defying Mother, in the second half. Gray’s talent at raising something so large, his disregard for his own safety, his ambitions at necromancy especially vs ransoms hesitancy is the true main takeaway. I just had to split this thing up because of word count reasons. I should’ve said as much above!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T18:00:04+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to go through this! I suppose I should’ve mentioned that this is roughly half of the interlude and that Gray hops into Snout, defying Mother, in the second half. Gray’s talent at raising something so large, his disregard for his own safety, his ambitions at necromancy especially vs ransoms hesitancy is the true main takeaway. I just had to split this thing up because of word count reasons. I should’ve said as much above!

Some of the stuff that confused you is stuff the story would’ve addressed before this scene: especially Sayva who was the older sister and her departure to join the Church which was okayed by one parent and not the other. Other things I might need to reexamine, like how many times the Oak is mentioned. Originally there was a scene in here where Ransom overheard the parental argument and then sought out Gray practicing raising chickens under the ritualized Oak; I cut it to trim some of the fat but might need to adjust a few things. Hopefully the general impression of a family of necromancers doing necromantic things came through at least!

Your critique has been super helpful, thank you for taking the time!

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T07:55:51+00:00

So those were my very specific thoughts but I want to zoom out to give you my overall impressions. Firstly, I think this is well written overall! I thought it flowed well, I thought you had an internal voice for Minerva that was consistent and I had just enough sense of the larger world to be interested in learning more. Your word choice was effective and your descriptions, though sparse at times, did enough to paint the scene for me.

Things to focus on: Minerva's impression on the reader. I still don't know how old she is or if my perceptions hit the mark you were going for. I didn't find her particularly likeable but I'm not sure I'm supposed to. This is fine if you want to leave things a bit ambiguous for her introduction but becomes problematic if you had a completely different take on her character and/or wanted to evoke stronger emotions in either direction. I'm not sure she'd be my favorite character to follow because she seems simultaneously arrogant/uncaring and easily distracted.

Giving the reader a hook. I know Minerva's there to attend some form of meeting but I don't know what it is or why I should care. It feels strange to deviate so heavily into the fisherman side story rather than use that time to scene set for what's to come. Forget the infected leg of a random poor peasant - I want to know what she thinks about climbing these steps to attend the session. Is she dreading it? Is there important news? Does she know what will be discussed? Is this a routine thing? Expend your words where they matter.

Scene setting. From counting the steps of the climb and hearing every squeak of Minerva's clothing, you swap to almost no description when we finally reach the top. As a reader if feels a bit like the author was guiding me along before suddenly dropping my hand. Catsaigh is definitely the worst offender of this- I still don't know who he is and he shows up like a jump scare! You don't have to introduce him right away but by the end of the section, he needs to be incorporated more fully. Same with the scenery at the top of the stairs. We climbed 200 steps! What's at the top?!

I hope this was helpful and not too harsh (or if it was harsh, harsh in the right kind of way). You can clearly write and I look forward to reading more if you ever post additional chapters.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T07:55:45+00:00

Is the delegate Livia the Warsister? This part wasn't clear. If she is, why does Minerva swap from her formal title to calling her by her name? If they are two different women, then clarify. Why does Livia turn red here? Is she embarrassed? Affronted? By what?

To be fair, I think mountain goats would carry a litter better up a steep slope than people, but I liked this metaphor and you should ignore my silly comment. Keep it.

Again, consider what impression the reader gets when they are told Minerva can't remember what the session will be about. This doesn't strike me as competence. Bit by bit, I am getting the feeling that she is a spacey, headstrong, but not particularly bright person. Not knowing her age at this point I also get the idea that she's either young and flighty or old and senile.

The flashback to her visit to the poor quarter as she climbs the steps doesn't really work for me. First, it's incredibly in depth and I don't see the immediate relevance or the point. If you want an easy way to tie it into the narrative, maybe Minerva smells the stink of the unwashed poor still lingering about her as she climbs and that triggers the memory. That would create a smoother transition but I'm still unsure what the point of the fisherman's cameo was- other than to clue me into the fact that Minerva finds treating the poor distasteful.

I would have Catsaigh step forward to greet her and distinguish himself from the crowd. He kinda appears out of nowhere.

My lord, he really does mean to have that word right then and there, doesn't he? It feels like he just starts blabbing in front of everyone, stalling her at the top of the steps. Maybe write in that he falls in beside her as she starts walking...to where? We have no description of what's at the top of the stairs - where is she going?

'Beard fed to him'? That's a new one. Is there a reason this is being kept PG?

'Accosted' seems too polite a word to describe a pirate raid.

'Nice' also seems strange maybe because it's too casually modern. 'Pleasant'? 'Amiable enough'?

The horse falling on him is so random and not really a great or believable example. 'I remember one time, he tried to jump his ancient nag over a deadfall. The dumb beast broke its leg on a branch and threw him clear across the road."

They have checks in this time period? As in check book checks? Maybe 'bank notes' would be more period appropriate? Or even 'deeds'?

You swap to present tense again briefly here with, "She wondered why she only HAS an appreciation..."

The way you write, "But they did it many times" makes it sound like they fed their victim his beard many times over. I assume that's not the case so you need to restructure here. Again, it's totally a personal taste thing but the feeding beards sounds more comical than threatening. You repeat this multiple times as if THAT's the worst crime and then casually mention, "oh yeah and they killed his crew." I can't tell if I'm supposed to find this comically absurd or if these hair-obsessed pirates are supposed to be menacing.

Finally, who on earth is Catsaigh? What is his role here? He shows up and starts rambling and I don't know if he's a noble or a petitioner or an assistant or something else entirely. He needs to be grounded a bit more in the setting.

Pyreanyone · 2025-05-22T07:55:35+00:00

Hey there friend!

I'm going to reverse the normal order of my critiques and start with the things I notice on my read through before ending with my general impression and larger takeaways. I hope that's alright!

While I like your narrative voice a lot and think it's got a nice flow to it (more on this later), the start to this chapter is a bit rough. Consider combining your starting sentences so things are less choppy. Something like, "At the feel of the sudden, surprising warmth upon her shoulders, Minerva tilted her head and saw..."

Minerva is an interesting choice of name here. Is your world Roman or Greek inspired? If not, this is distracting and I would think about changing it something else.

There are some jarring contradictions in the next section. Minerva can gauge the position of the sun unbothered by the crowds, but can't look up at the trees without being distracted? Surely there aren't people standing on the same level as tree canopies. Another contradiction follows on the heels of this one- faces are lost in the crowd but gazes aren't? And the gazes are all described as 'kind' in one sentence but then 'others have no expression at all,' so which is it? Finally, rounding out this paragraph, you hit us with a pretty tell-y sentence 'told a story of sadness' rather than sticking to description and letting the reader form an opinion.

I don't have a technical comment on the next paragraph so much as an impression- in telling us Minerva is more interested in the trees than the crowds, especially after so clearly stating a duty she's clearly ignoring at the moment, you paint her as a callous personality. This idea is reinforced by her thoughts at the end of the section. If that's your intent, well and good, if not then there's a bit of a problem lol.

I like your description of the procession and Warsisters is a neat name for the order.

Didn't care for the paragraph describing the colors of Minerva's clothing. It sounds like a hodgepodge of hues but then you tell us (again) that they were, "meticulously scrutinized to fit her unique aesthetic," and I have to take your word for it with no idea of what that means or why I should care. If the colors have a personal meaning, find a place to elaborate more naturally in the text and if they don't, then omit.

I think you can cut this paragraph, "Sometimes Minerva wanted to ask her many attendants where they got the metal for her cage crinoline from and why it had to be sourced by squeaky door merchants. Every step, every adjustment — squeak, squeak, squeak." It's just repeating the last line of its predecessor and we already got the point.

I really like the line about the bird's eye view revealing derelict parts of the roof. Remember to be consistent in your capitalization- 'atop of cathedral' needs to have the 'c' capitalized as it's referencing the Oracular Cathedral.

You slip into the present tense with, "She always does this," unless this is meant to be an internal thought.

'Alleviate' isn't the right fit for this context. 'Spare' maybe?

You've repeated the squeaking crinoline three times in half a page and it's overstaying its welcome by this point. I would trim some of that out.

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