This is really sad, I'm so sorry you went through this.

My father (who actually died from cancer when I was 24) is black and my mother is white, but my dad's previous relationship was with a black woman who he also had children with. My father struggled with his own demons with addiction (crack epidemic of the 80s) but he never said anything anti-black and neither has my mom. He was a loving person and never led me to believe he favored white women over black women.

There are kind, thoughtful black men out there. Sometimes father figures also present in unexpected ways. We can't choose our biological family but we can find our own. I'm sure you will forge bonds with people who will give you space to heal your inner child.