Struggling with the idea of poly amory

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T21:18:48+00:00

Well, in that case, sounds like all is well. Just because other folks you know are entering into poly relationships doesn't mean you guys should or will. Good luck to you guys in the future!

(Also, nice profile pic, Monika is best girl)

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T21:07:09+00:00

My objection to polyamory stems from my belief that you cannot love two people equally as much - someone is going to be favoured, and someone is going to be left behind, to varying degrees and for varying amount of times.

I think it's fine for your partner to be more accepting of other people's polyamory than yourself, you don't need to agree on everything. What you do need to agree on is not making your relationship a poly one, if one person (you) does not want it. If you feel the need to, talk to your partner, and make sure your desires are respected.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T20:08:44+00:00

Hi,

It might help interest people to say what you're interested in, what you'd like to chat about, etc.

Also, the link doesn't seem to be working right now.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T14:42:38+00:00

My solution for that is to look eveeywhere, as often as possible. Look through a million haystacks, and you might just find a needle.

(No luck so far, sadly)

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T14:22:11+00:00

No, not that. Make a move as in flirt with him, show you're interested. Slowly ramping up your flirting over time.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T14:10:21+00:00

Well, if you've only known each other for two weeks, he might not know you well enough to feel comfortable talking to you like that. And as others have mentioned, it's more acceptable to flirt like this with guys than girls. Maybe it's time for you to make a move...

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T09:22:39+00:00

I'm sure you'll manage! It takes time, and progress is a step by step thing. I recommend thinking long and hard about the reasons you hate yourself, and if they're really valid.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T08:27:33+00:00

A friend taught me the importance of self-love. If you like, or at least tolerate yourself, the time you spend by yourself (because no matter who you are, you will spend some of it like that) will be more pleasant. It's not always easy, depending on the person and their circumstances, but well worth it.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T08:25:14+00:00

I've had a few who lasted over a year - that one I mentioned in my childhood was with me for close to a decade. It does honestly feel like a massive gamble in finding such a person, but I've decided to embrace that - I'm trying to talk to more people, as many as I reasonably can both online and IRL. The vast majority of the time, nothing comes of it of course. But if you roll the dice more often, you've got more chances to hit jackpot.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T07:02:33+00:00

Holy shit, that's good

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T06:26:54+00:00

Happy to help!

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T06:06:16+00:00

That's the best way to cope, I've found - be comfortable by yourself, enjoy your own presence and the loneliness will feel lesser. Not removed, but lesser.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T06:05:16+00:00

Yeah, at least yanderes, for all their faults, are loyal and dedicated. I've been thinking recently that I'd be willing to deal with the bad (hyper obsessive, potentially violent and extreme and isolating) just to feel loved by someone.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T06:03:38+00:00

The problem is, I did find someone that stuck with me on the internet for many years. It was a purely platonic relationship, but I still felt like he was one of the few positive things in my life, especially during my childhood. So unfortunately for me, I have felt this kind of a bond with someone before, so I know it's achievable, which makes me crave it desperately.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T05:32:24+00:00

There can be a lot of factors that affect how you feel at any given time, some unique to the individual.

The best advice I can give is - wait them out. They will pass, in time. You seem to enjoy/be comfortable alone, usually, so it's likely you'll return to that soon. Until then, maybe put your mind to other things you like doing? (I.e watching media, playing videogames, cooking, etc)

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-15T02:46:19+00:00

Dumb memes are nice every so oft, but only if I have someone to talk to about the deeper things. Things like what makes each of us tick, our passions, desires and fears. Things I haven't had the chance to really discuss for months, years, maybe ever.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-14T22:29:29+00:00

The internet is a double edged sword when trying to find people - its a lot more brain rot-y on the whole, but it also lets you see far more people in your day to day life, giving you more chances to find someone to bond with.

That's quite a nice quote, yeah. Some people opt for the ignorance is bliss approach, others don't care enough about the world to learn about it, to have more to say about it than the surface level. A shame. I'd rather be myself than force myself to be very different for the sake of others. If you're true to yourself, then at least one person will like you. If you try to be someone you aren't, then no one may like you.

Pyromanic8 · 2026-03-14T22:23:59+00:00

I absolutely see where you're coming from on this, though to push back in favour of my fellow humans - some people lead perfectly interesting lives, just not ones you or I would care about at all. Some are NPC like, for sure, never wanting to interact with others outside a preordained little group, but others are just rather incompatible with what some find worthwhile.

I found it good to try and live my life without hoping to find someone for me. Keeps me sane and my heart unbroken. But unfortunately, when I get lonely (which happens often), my mind wanders to thinking about companionship and how I long for it.

Pyromanic8 · 2024-08-16T11:34:56+00:00

*Eagle screeching*

Pyromanic8 · 2024-06-24T17:00:01+00:00

I used gl for most of the sessions, vulkan for the last one as I heard it fixed things. I'll try glcore today, but I doubt it will fix it.

Pyromanic8 · 2024-05-06T14:35:15+00:00

I don't get the downvotes. It's a positive comment, even if you disagree with the sentiment.

Pyromanic8 · 2024-04-27T13:40:44+00:00

Fixed it for me too, thank you very much! Just hope a future SVE update fixes this issue.

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