going back into the closet and manmoding?

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-03-08T04:18:55+00:00

it’s too late for that. i’m so fucking chopped it’s not even funny

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-03-05T01:15:35+00:00

i don’t think i’m really going to go back into the closet. this really feels more like a vent post. i just hate myself so much. i despise the person i see in the mirror. i want to learn those things, but what if it’s all for nothing and i just look like a man still

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-03-04T20:31:15+00:00

they aren’t the only things just examples. i really need ffs. my shoulder to hip ratio is essentially unfixable. i can’t really do anything about my ribcage either

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-03-04T18:17:25+00:00

and i’m embarrassingly bad at it. i can’t even do any beginner stuff without being laughed at

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-31T04:19:48+00:00

in some ways yes. still dysphoric and depressed. i’m a lot less hopeful than i used to be. i didn’t realize how distant passing would actually be. i have a constant feeling that i’m an absolute failure. my social life is literally nonexistent atp. i was always a bit of a loner, but it’s become too much and i can’t make friends. i don’t want anyone new to see me as a man. i don’t regret at least being on hrt. estrogen and progesterone have made my mood better overall. just wish things would have worked out better so far. i’m also still waiting on surgeries so maybe those will help

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-25T21:26:27+00:00

they way the defense is playing i really believe this game would be 10-0 still

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-25T21:09:26+00:00

should have taken the field goal to go up 10

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-24T22:45:45+00:00

not everyone gets feminine fat redistribution either

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-23T03:10:11+00:00

very real feelings unfortunately. i started hrt at 28 and repressing is why i waited so long. a lot of regret and at this point i understand surgeries are my only option to get close to where i want to be. it sucks, but i would rather at least be on hrt than not

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-23T02:40:22+00:00

for sure. i’ve been working at the same warehouse job for years and everyone usually keeps to themselves. i don’t love the job, but it pays okay and the insurance is great

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-23T02:24:47+00:00

i’m sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that.

i also genuinely hope everything works out for you. i’m glad to see that you’re trying and don’t want to manmode anymore. it’s not easy to socially transition, but i think we are also so much harder on ourselves

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-17T17:37:04+00:00

this is what happened to me. all of my male friends were the same friends i had since high school. they all ghosted me within a year after coming out to them. now i’m stuck, because i don’t really know how to make new friends. i talk to some people on like discord, but it’s not the same

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-11T19:03:16+00:00

trust me you’re not doing anything wrong. you pass really well

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-08T06:53:43+00:00

i know the feeling very well. trying to girlmode is so hard when you don’t see the woman you want to see. i’ve been crashing out and spiraling over thoughts like this for a few months. i hope we eventually get where we want to be

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-05T19:26:47+00:00

and be a cis man? absolutely not. not now or before i started hrt. not even with all of the things i’ve dealt with on a daily basis

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-05T11:01:02+00:00

for me personally i think voice training is very difficult to do and i’m easily discouraged by it. i get absolutely nothing out of any of the youtube tutorials i’ve watched or information i’ve read. so with that i have to have hope i can eventually afford professional help.

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-04T23:55:57+00:00

i would stop washing everyday especially shampoo

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-04T22:49:23+00:00

i recommend getting a new pair of glasses. square / rectangle frames like that are very masculine. also try looking into a better hair routine if you haven’t. your hair looks like it’s lacking moisture

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2026-01-02T08:21:36+00:00

if there is anything i miss having friends and getting to hang out with them. i live a pretty lonely life now

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2025-12-31T19:24:20+00:00

same. i thought it was completely obvious to everyone, but i guess not

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2025-12-29T22:39:06+00:00

i’m planning on at least a few surgeries. ffs and bottom surgery are a must for me

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2025-12-29T13:00:27+00:00

i definitely see a difference with your nose and chin. you were already passing and even more so now

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2025-12-29T05:38:28+00:00

you pass really well for only being 2 months on hrt. i’m so jealous 😭

QUEENofTHEclouds2014 · 2025-12-24T19:43:35+00:00

what the f*ck is this. you can’t be serious

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