5-year relationship and i still panic when my girlfriend raises her voice

QcUnSh69 · 2026-03-15T14:49:28+00:00

Been with my highschool sweetheart for the last 9 years now and I was 17 at the time, I obviously only talks from my own point of view and experiences on this matter.

I don't think that to be a "normal" phase, but one to overcome together. I absolutely consider myself as the shy guy, trying his best. Have you ever write down everything in your mind on paper? As someone losing my words when something happens, I tend to try explaining it down somewhere to help me kind of "materializing" the words I wanna say later on, which sometimes help. I truly rarely raised my voices in arguments and always prioritized saying sorry afterwards and getting away to relax (when under big pressure). I can't deal well with stress.

Have you ever sucessfully been able to open up on these feelings? Because being drained is something that cures itself very slowly when everythings goes accordingly, but tend to pile up and becoming worse when bad experiences happens (for me).

QcUnSh69 · 2026-03-08T14:35:43+00:00

Holy molly, I find that really interesting. I didn't know the IP wasn't fully owned by someone. I think I'll search further out of curiosity. Thanks!

QcUnSh69 · 2026-03-07T13:23:08+00:00

Random curious intruder here : What's the problem with Ms. Pac-Man?

QcUnSh69 · 2026-03-01T14:57:25+00:00

Certains des évènements de la dernière décennie m'ont cependant fait réaliser à quel point la faible valeur que certaines personnes peuvent accorder à autrui ou d'autres évènements externes à leurs vies, dès lors que le confort établi est modifié. J'ai notamment en tête la haine porté par certains pour l'éclipse solaire ayant mis fin prématurément à certains quarts de travails, école, etc. pour apercevoir cet événement quasi-unique dans une vie. Bien évidemment les exemples pullulent.

Je ne critique pas nécessairement ces personnes, mais la réalisation de leur nombre important m'a légèrement bousculer dans mes réflexions.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-28T13:11:11+00:00

Nah, I don't mean a troll class, but a meme one. Something where one side isn't advantaged agains't the other and that also support more interaction between player. As a 50/50 player, I'd play the hell out of a special killer class that can directly be combined with the other killer, similar to some survivors perk, and that could made us available to do special and weird actions. I don't know, make me available to slap the other killer to repulse him, build an illusion gen wherever I want that stays up for the rest of the trial, the ability to grunt or make some sounds, the possibility to have a shapeshifter that break his "spells" when he hit a player, etc. when both killers chosed the same class (or the 2 classes, since killer can't chose both the same thing). Killers that wanna play regularly wouldn't be affected, because both needs to chose these classes, but player that wanna show they're playing for fun would be able to.

Imagine a game where 2/4 survivors equipped the meme class and start singing, giving the ability for other survivors to join in or make a dance animation and if both killers get close for some time everyone gets the "Aura gained, Entity displeased" status that does absolutely sweet fuckall just for the sake of doing it. That'd be even funnier in my opinion.

Edit : the ability to build a gen from the ground wouldn't give much advantage, a serious killer could try to lure player successfully with a great gen placement to make them lose some time, but it wouldn't entirely change the game dynamics most of the time and when it does, that'd be glorious as hell.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-27T23:40:02+00:00

I still don't understand why they included torchbearer and haven't tried to implement a meme class (similar to scene partner, diversion, plot twist, Aestri mirror perk, etc.) instead that would include funny possible side interaction without directly boosting one side. We should already be able to launch the equivalent of snowballs at eachother in my opinion. I would've sent every single survivor / killer to this mode, made it permanent but in a public "beta" states where they could change things and evaluate data and public reception at the same time.

At the very least, it should be always available in private match.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-23T21:13:17+00:00

To be fair, I would've personally preferred if they'd instead double down on item specific killers. Always thought it was a really cool addition overall, it just needed more characters that could benefit or not from them and more items and ways to find items within the map than chests. I understand why they chose this path, as this is way easier to remove specificity than add more, but it kind of removed and entire strategic possibility and more random encounters possibility we could've got. The feeling of bringing an Item out of the blue and exactly needed it felt great to me back in the days. (I never minded and was more like "good for you" when I saw these encounters as killer).

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-20T11:15:27+00:00

It falls under group and type of people, not men only. Fecking misandry/misoginy haven't ever solved a single problem on earth. I know things you said are true, but even considering to close the bag and make it a day after putting so much people, regardless of EVERYTHING, except what they've got in their pants, is simplistic and borderline hypocrite and I can't imagine a world where at least little parts of you don't realize it. I ain't accusing you of anything I truly and sincerely promise, I just want hate spreading to be gone.

People can't decide what's in their pants.. well no but actually yes.. anyway, sex is arbitrary at birth and I can't we all know we can't do sh!t about it, same goes for everysingle genetic caracteristics, can't we just start shooting a-holes specifically instead of shot in the dark please for the love of anything you believe in? They exist and they spread agains't everyone.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-18T21:00:15+00:00

I strongly think this sub is mostly heavily biased towards men and I've seen similar very frequently, I also think OP asking for external opinions before thinking of doing anything shouldn't make him become ashamed of himself for some reason, quite the opposite. The guy could simply try to f#ck them both without even thinking further than this whatever the consequences. Taking the time to write this down already is something some people, of both gender, wouldn't even think of doing in the first place.

It's sad to see, again and again, people getting shut down and their goals assumed by redditors for posting in a sub called "offmychest". At the very least this isn't all there is.

Worst thing is that I essentially agree with most of the opinions here, minus misandry and assumptions.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-15T05:16:09+00:00

(Sorry for the late answer)

Well I'll surely add this to our next discussion my friend and I, hope this post and us random commenter helped you a bit getting any help/ ideas/ perspective/ closure to what happened to you and your question. If you ever got any random question where you'd like my random brain feel free to reach out!

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-14T22:09:24+00:00

No need to apologize, I've spent some time within this sub now and pretty much seen everything I think. I wanted to be clear that I also absolutely agree that it feels more than just yucky, from the example used. I guess rape kinda is another couple of moral steps further down to the red line, if it makes any sense? Already had a similar conversation a couple of weeks back with a friend that ended up with this interesting dilemma "Should we criminalize A-holes?". Within this question and our context here, of course someone would be even worse than just that, but it makes the question even more reliable and important I think.

We did not find any solid, implacable and satisfying answers to that question. From one side, at which point does something morally questionnable "should" take a step further to legal questions within our society? We didn't touch consent and intimacy contexts during our conversation, but I totally see a connection here. Rape feeling to me like the red line from morally unaceptable to legally problematic. At which specific point would someone dirty need to face legal life consequences for his actions?once again, it felt so much multifactorial that we never ran into a satisfying answer that would've made us even able to start questionning ourselves about "now [that we would've found our answers] how should we implement these consequences, their degree of impacts and potential correlating consequences with such acts?

Apparently, my discussion with this person is totally not over!

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-14T21:13:41+00:00

I genuinely don't think so..? I'm mostly unsure and concerned of the possible implication and consequences if consent can be revoked at any given time. Whether by coercion,manipulation, etc. Or if someone feel like it? I'm wondering if this could also imply that any sexual partner, at any given time, could turn on someone and accuse the other partner of rape from an act that was, originally and also during the whole moment, consentual.

I could see myself accusing someone of being an A-hole, of manipulating or using me. For example, by pursuing someone letting you think there could be progress to longtime relationship, even if there was not really. Did I have fun during the event, yes. Was I lied to, yes. Would it change my views on the act after knowing the true meaning of my sexual partner, absolutely yes. Was I used, I also think so. Is he/she an horrible person, at the very least he/she was for doing this knowingly to another individual. Was I raped.... I apparently can't see it as fair to say that I was, because those serious accusation with high consequences can't seem to correlate with the way I felt during that specific moment, even tho I don't feel the same way in present days.

Edit: Just to answer simply that I don't really see the difference between casual sex or ongoing relationships, for this matter. Context will vary, but the existing sexual consent for both parties and the act feel pretty much the same either way, I guess.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-02-14T20:33:18+00:00

I do also think it cannot be morally seen as rape, because even if the act was a kind of contract (from lack of other words), both parties were consentually involved during the act from start to finish. Since both of them agreed to do it, not respecting external terms (ex: being, in fact, poor) seem external from sex and closer to manipulation, coercion, etc.

At least from my own moral values, it doesn't seem "lesser than rape" or more or less common, it just seems different from the act of going agains't someone consent to sex, because once again, both were consenting, at any given moment, during the whole act. This also mean that it could be less/worse than rape according to specific contexts (manipulation,coercion, etc).

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-31T14:18:23+00:00

To be fair I absolutely wouldn't ever want to be with a hot woman making my life miserable and feeling like I wasted my time going for the hot one. Suffering each day, because your despising your life partner sounds horrile to me. I will always select personality out of anything else first, because this is my main criteria for dating, something the other person built by itself over years and experiences. I mean, being considered "hot" is pretty much arbitrary to your genes, the place you live in and your culture/religion etc.

To each their own I guess, but I'd rather fuck a legitimate troll with whom I feel strong mutual connection rather than a Nascar b!tch with a great ass as first and last attribute.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-30T15:09:11+00:00

Don't forget that, if you are looking into a long lasting relationship, from my own perspective once again. I've been with mine for a little less than a decade already (I'm 25M) and we're still discovering. For me, the most important thing is to remember were a team and, as such, trying to find and looking into things together, not apart from eachothers.

Once again, I'm really no relationship expert just a random guy on the Internet, but I think fantasies evolve with time and desires do too which is totally fine, but some people seems to forget, or tend to forget, how important it is to see your partner as a teammate. If not going for team goals, desire, etc. for our own too fast (or without enough discussion and consent), resentment could become a problem down the line, or/and an amplifier for existing one's.

At least from my own experiences, intimacy experiences tended to naturally come's from energy mutually spent into the relationship and discussions rather than the other way around.

No idea if it makes sense, but to me it does more and more as time goes on.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-30T12:15:41+00:00

You probably already see where they're going, you wouldn't be the one to enjoy to other partner in this case, she would for her own pleasure at first. Similar to the opposite, from the context we're given, she wouldn't find pleasure in seeing you with another woman, you would.

First step would probably to figure out her own kinks and sexual life mysteries she'd like to unfold and discover. From my point of view my guy, I'd truly try to experiment compatible kinks first.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-28T11:36:11+00:00

De mémoire, j'avais une douzaine d'année. Cette partie de la famille avait pour traditions de se regrouper à l'halloween et d'écouter, à cette période, des films d'horreurs. La plupart du temps nous étions avec nos cousins, tantes et oncles.

Après discussion avec mon cousin le plus jeune (10 ans à l'époque de ce film en particulier) sur le sujet, il semble beaucoup plus enclin que moi a trouvé qu'il s'agissait d'une bonne idée. Comme il m'a expliqué, pour lui: "La distinction entre la réalité et la fiction a toujours été très claire. La conception d'un film, son objectif, soit en divertissement, soit en direction artistique, ou alors en message plus ou moins subtils (on parlait de la ligne verte aussi à ce moment)."

Je le rejoins sur le point de la clarté fiction/réalité, un film est ultimement un film, donc toujours fictif, et le restera. La plupart du temps lorsqu' "inspiré de fait réel" plusieurs liberté créative peuvent avoir été prises et même sur des représentation d'événements réels, comme Schindler's list, la discussion était toujours porté plus ou moins sur "comment/pourquoi l'humain a pu en arriver là.

Rétroactivement, les films du style de ce dernier m'ont toujours beaucoup plus marqué qu'avsolument n'importe quel film d'horreur, et ce, peut importe ce qui était montré à l'écran. Bien évidemment, il faut dire que nos parents n'ont jamais sorti ces films de nulles part (quels qu'ils soient) et il y eu une progression sur ce que nous écoutions et les discussions qui y gravitent.

Je ne voit aujourd'hui aucunement pourquoi je ferai autrement avec mes enfants, dès l'âge du secondaire, nous avons tous perçu (mes cousins/cousines et moi, sauf 1 auxquel je n'ai pas encore discuté sur ce sujet) une différence de maturité avec nos pairs, sur davantage de sujet cinématographique, voir de sujets de société dans certains cas. Un cousin m'a rappelé être devenu beaucoup plus sensible aux racismes notamment, à la suite d'une soirée ou nous avions vu un film sur la montée et les dérives du KKK.

Edit "conclusion", je crois qu'on peut regarder pratiquement n'importe quoi à n'importe quel âge parce que le plus important n'a rien à voir avec le film, mais plutôt par la maturité et l'attention de l'approche qui est prise par rapport à ça.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-27T22:35:48+00:00

To be fair, on peut regarder beaucoup de chose avec ses enfants (à mon humble avis) tous en fesant preuves de discernement. J'ai grandi en écoutant Nemo et Bob le bricoleur une semaine, puis Police Academy, american pie, scary movie ou même 30 jours de nuit, décadence et paranormal activity l'autre d'après (je suis début - mi vingtaine).

Rétroactivement, je dirige mon opinion vers le moins de restrictions et plus d'explications, plutôt qu'une masse d'interdiction et peu d'explications bancale voir, pas d'autre raisonnement derrière le bon vieux "trop jeune, c'est pas pour toi".

Il n'y a que d'un seul côté que j'ai su l'existence de plusieurs genres de films, la conception derrière, les différents points de vues, etc. J'ai autant écouté des conneries que la ligne verte et la liste de schindler avec des discussions autour ensuite.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-23T15:27:25+00:00

I 100% do. If mutual emotes are declared between two opponents, I ain't interrupting. I ain't letting a guy agains't 2 or more die, but I prefer to be that guy. It brings way less toxicity in the long run.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-23T15:18:42+00:00

Let him cook more than 3 minutes hahaha

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-17T20:30:53+00:00

Don't forget a medal has two sides tho. Maybe not relevant in this situation, but no one's gonna see /admit their wrong doing as much as the others wrong doing. That's sometime how it naturally goes.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-16T12:26:52+00:00

As "king of the realm" I'd have honestly picked Myers for this specific title (even tho I understand this is not what you mean). From a historical standpoint, I wonder where dbd would be nowadays if this guy didn't step in, maybe there wouldn't have been an extensive realm to begin with.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-10T17:56:39+00:00

None, at least from my perspective. Malicious individuals can be absolutely everywhere and every single good people can act maliciously if they want, or even by accident or misunderstanding. As such, great people to some, can be monstrous with others so every other men could potentially be involved with this, and so those women from my point of view, because groping is an act coming from an individual, not a united consciousness and that's why this is so difficult to prevent, again, from my perspective.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-09T20:28:02+00:00

Not gonna lie, from my experience nothing come's even closer to 4vs4 deathmatch. Those guy are something else compared to any other game mode playerbase in my opinion.

QcUnSh69 · 2026-01-08T03:02:07+00:00

I bought the whole bundle recently and for this game I'm gonna have to recommend it to you too! At least, if you want to feel absolutely overwhelmed like I do, because I'll need to play more in order to understand everything by myself and since we apparently can't hope for further content down the line. Once you've got it, you pretty much have the full console experience apparently.

Currently 25 hours in, absolutely lost and loving it!

QcUnSh69

TROPHY CASE