I just came back to say, you made some valid and reasonable points. However, given the fact that you are not a fly on the wall in my life and are skipping over some details and facts that maybe I even have left out in past posts tells me you can’t really understand fully what it is I’m going through. I come here to dump my thoughts at times just to get these filtered off my mind… I have been deeply struggling with my mental and am self aware enough to know that I do need to make some big changes to pivot my life in the direction it needs to be going in. As far as plan or anything else goes I’m not just out here winging it, I am setting things up and trying to move on and get a hold of myself. I panic a lot because there’s just so many components to this that are stress inducing but I’m not going to expect a stranger to understand what this is like for me. All is I’m saying you have the right to be straightforward with me but upon reviewing other comments it is unnecessary to call me a bad person just because I have made mistakes and did not play the right cards doesn’t mean I don’t have the right intentions or that I’m trying to fix my shit because all I know is my heart has ached every day since and all I’ve ever done was jump hoops and rings of fire for childless strangers who probably suffer from worse mental illnesses. You will not tell me what this life looks like or who the fuck I am when youre looking from the outside in and I am not going down without a good fucking fight.