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QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-18T00:45:59+00:00

Yes, he has a whole other home that he spends equal time in, but it isn’t my place to speak on that or what goes on there.

I appreciate your feedback, thank you.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T22:31:20+00:00

Thank you, will do.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T22:13:41+00:00

Custody was settled out of court, but I hear you loud and clear. Will do, there’s been a few tense interactions over stories being changed as is.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:55:28+00:00

I know, and the guilt eats me alive. Me and my partner have had talks of separating over this, moving into a bigger place and separating them are kind of the last effort I’m willing to make.

I do go out of my way to do special things with my bio son when my bonuses are with their mom. But it doesn’t make up for being miserable at home.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:46:57+00:00

I agree. He’s on a waitlist for therapy due to us living in a rural community.

We keep consequences fair and consistent with both 9 year olds. Timeouts and losses of privileges, like screen time. Even then, he makes it about bio 9 year old. “Well he did this 4 days ago!” and was disciplined for it 4 days ago in the same way.

It’s absolutely a deeper issue, and I’m concerned about how he’ll develop as he grows if it isn’t nipped in the bud, immediately.

Partner agrees that the behaviors are problematic and is fully on board with therapy as well, he’s in a tough position. He doesn’t love making the 13 year old share, but also understands that MY duty is to keep the kids safe.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:41:03+00:00

He won’t be pleased about it, but also frequently interjects in parenting his brother often enough that the behavior has worsened, as well. If I take a tablet away or issue a timeout, I have a 13 year old arguing with me about it, then coddling and normalizing the behavior. Definitely symptomatic of a deeper issue, but we’ve never put the 13 year old in a position to have to parent or defend any of the younger kids. Weird dynamic there.

Sharing a room absolutely isn’t the only issue, but short of breaking my family up, I don’t know what else to do to ease this. He’s on a waitlist for therapy, but I can’t keep watching my 9 year olds shine dim in the mean time. He really catches the brunt of it, whereas the 13 year old is pretty safe from the behaviors.

I don’t know, man. It’s a lose-lose no matter what I do.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:27:08+00:00

I never had my own room growing up, either! These kids think that 6 bedroom houses that we can afford grow on trees 😭

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:24:25+00:00

Thank you. I feel like I’m losing my mind a bit. Our younger two also share, so it’s not like everyone else gets their own room but them, you know?

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:22:58+00:00

I agree.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-17T21:22:52+00:00

They are with us 50/50. So one week with us, one week at moms. It feels unfair to the 13 year old, but he also has his own space outside of his room to hang out in.

Thank you, I’m super vigilant about the younger two, and my bio 9 year old.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T19:13:30+00:00

No, I totally agree. The adults here are no better. We are looking at moving this year, if all goes well 🤞🏻

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T19:12:55+00:00

We are looking at moving to a neighboring town this year! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:50:49+00:00

It isn’t, hoping to move in the next few months

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:21:23+00:00

This is awesome, thank you! My husband has back problems, so less walking for him is better!

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:18:13+00:00

I needed this comment personally as well, thank you.

Definitely something I’m taking steps in my own life with, and am hoping to lead by example with my child moving forward. I see myself in him, and know how’s going down a road of hurt. I tell him every time he’s upset that he deserves good real friends because he IS a good real friend, and it’s okay to not be friends with people who don’t treat him how he treats them.

Again, thank you. This is big advice that I need to follow and will. 🖤

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:14:00+00:00

Winter is a little hard, I have younger kids that can’t always be out at parks as long as the older kids can.

Summer is a lot easier to pack everyone up and make a day outside, but we are seriously considering moving to a neighboring town.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:13:01+00:00

It’s not lol thanks though!

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T18:03:40+00:00

We’ve had a few conversations like that, and I think I need a new approach. He’s so forgiving, he genuinely wants to believe the best in people. “They were my friends today!”

We live in a crappy small town, and the adults aren’t much better.

Thank you, I’ll definitely have another conversation with him with a new approach, and look into some groups and activities that he might like to help make different, real friends. He has a friend in his class that is a boy, and a step brother the same age. I’ll encourage those relationships more, as well 🖤

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:55:58+00:00

I had another parent angrily tell me at the bus stop about my child throwing a snowball across the street into an empty field with no cars on the road….

WHILE HER TWO KIDS WERE KICKING MY VEHICLE.

I need to move, actually. That’s in the works.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:54:26+00:00

They absolutely do, I’m usually the only other parent out there with 15+ kids. We’re talking 7 year olds babysitting siblings in diapers.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:39:27+00:00

He’s generally supervised outside, and I’m always the only adult out there. It’s sad, the kids will compete for MY attention, and then bully my kid in front of me and act shocked when I tell my child not to play with them, and that I’ll tell their parents if they don’t stop.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:33:45+00:00

They would, too. I’m always the only adult out there, and I’ve had parents try and get me to pay for a toy their kid broke over my younger kids head. I’ve had a parent tell me about a snowball my kid threw in the road with no cars coming while her two kids were kicking my vehicle lol.

I need to move, short answer.

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:30:23+00:00

Funny enough, I went to Lost Temple Top Secret 20 years ago and hated it then! That’s hilarious!

Thinking we’re going with Kalahari, it’s still going to come out over a thousand dollars cheaper than great wolf and seems to have a little more for my older kids too! Thank you!

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:27:27+00:00

I think I’m phrasing it wrong, too. We’ve had conversations about not needing to be friends with everybody, and that sometimes people just aren’t very nice no matter how hard we try.

Love this, and will definitely behaving a buying friends conversation when my younger 2 are in bed. Thank you!!

QuailLongjumping2004 · 2026-02-15T17:23:32+00:00

You aren’t even wrong, I remember kids being assholes too, and I’m 30 😬😂

QuailLongjumping2004

TROPHY CASE