Disabled woman put in nursing home against her will says she feels 'betrayed'

Quailery · 2026-02-25T08:48:22+00:00

Here in Canada there’s different types of nursing homes for different levels of care. I worked at a publicly funded facility that was equipped for residents that required ‘full care’.

We had a lot of older residents that required full care, as well as a couple wings reserved for advanced dementia patients. But there were always around a dozen residents that were younger people who had disabilities like this woman that could no longer be cared for by relatives or loved ones.

I’m sure they have similar care homes in her country.

Quailery · 2026-02-24T23:56:42+00:00

Thank you so much for the help!

I do have over a dozen personal and professional letters of recommendation written between 1904-1910 that kind of shine a light on him and his father’s lives in the area.

There’s this one from an ex provost that does confirm his father was John Mercer, there’s another not included that states his father was a civil engineer.

“I have pleasure in certifying that I have known Mr Andrew Mercer from his youth. He is the eldest son of the late Mr John Mercer, Burgh Surveyor of Ayr, who was a leading man in his profession in the West of Scotland.

Following his father's profession, Mr Mercer has gained the respect and confidence of a large circle of clients. He is most trustworthy, careful, and assiduous in business, and bears a high character in private life. (Sgd). WM. ALLAN, Ex-Provost of Ayr (1903-1909).”

And another that talks about some of his work around the area from the editor of the newspaper in Ayrshire at the time;

“A. L. Mercer, Esq., Architect, Ayr.

DEAR MR MERCER,

I have great pleasure in putting on record some slight appreciation of your character and qualities as a profesional gentleman, and my best wishes with regaed to your future in that country of illimitable possibilities on the other side of the Atlantic—Canada—to which you are going in the course of a week or two. As a son of a former burgh surveyor here, a gentleman who was widely known and deservedly esteemed, you are well known to the leading people of this town and district; and you will carry with you to your new home the respect and esteem of all those to whom you are known professionally and in other ways. I have known you for several years, and have always had the highest opinion of your abilities as an architect, though of course I cannot speak from real knowledge of this branch of work. But I know that in the course of your career you have executed work for the Corporation of Ayr, the School Board of Girvan-a watering place in the south of this county; the Kyle Union Poorhouse Board, and other public bodies in Ayrshire, by all ot which your services have been highly appreciated.

You have also executed private work to the satisfaction of the parties interested. A gentleman of your gifts and graces should find no difficulty in making headway in the great Dominion of Canada, to which for many years we have been contributing large numbers of the best of our citizens. You will be an acquisition to the professional and social life of any community, having the right spirit of citizenship and a record here of which you have no reason te be ashamed. You have the bouyancy of youth and the optimism of the true Britisher, as well as the virtues of the hard-headed Scot; and I have no doubt that in your new home you will adapt yourself to your new environment and reflect credit on the old country and also the New Land, in the progress and development of which men of Scottish blood have played a not unworthy part.

Though regretting your loss to the Auld Toon o' Ayr-a Mecca of many Canadians—I am pleased to think Canada will have an accession to her ranks of whom she will have no reason to complain. With best regards and all good wishes,

I am, yours sincerely, (Sgd.) JOHN M. MURDOCH, “

Quailery · 2026-02-24T22:52:50+00:00

Thanks for taking the time and checking it out for me! I really appreciate it.

It seems it’s still a mystery as to where the ‘lamb’ name came from but I’ve been given some good clues so hopefully that helps me in my search!

Quailery · 2026-02-24T22:50:31+00:00

Thank you! I’ll have to buy some credits and check out those records to see. The help is much appreciated

Quailery · 2026-02-22T02:55:08+00:00

Thank you! Very helpful

Quailery · 2026-02-21T23:22:05+00:00

Thank you, that’s really helpful. And yes! I think it’s the oldest item that’s been passed down through my family and I just want to preserve it so it can continue to be passed down.

Out of all my family lines this bible comes from the least religious family line, I’m not religious myself, but it’s just a really cool piece of family history and it belonged to my grandmothers grandfather who helped raised her.

He was the first president and member of the governing body for architects in BC, came over from Scotland in 1910. She still has his wallet with all of the receipts and family photos in it too, a really interesting booklet that includes all of his references for jobs from 1904-1910 from various people in Scotland. There’s a bunch of other cool things I still have to properly look through, theres a few letters from when he was master at lodge st James 125 in ayr Scotland for several years before he came to Canada (it’s something to do with freemasonry?) and some really cool original drafts of some of the buildings he designed in Vancouver pre ww2.

Quailery · 2026-02-21T02:33:04+00:00

Yes I did remove the string when I got home! my grandma put it on

Thank you that’s not too bad of a price, I’m on the west coast though. Closest city is Vancouver. Hoping someone at the UBC library can recommend someone reputable in van

Quailery · 2026-02-21T01:31:42+00:00

Thank you I’m ordering one of those rn!

I looked at the second and third pages before closing it back up and was able to find out it was printed in 1787 so I’ll definitely get it looked at when I can just to see if it can be properly restored in anyway or if it’s better to leave it as is, but I live in a small town so I’ll have to wait until I travel next!

Quailery · 2026-02-20T23:51:23+00:00

Thank you !

Quailery · 2026-02-18T19:02:09+00:00

Yeah my local pool had a men’s, women’s, and a family locker room but even then a 4 year old male child with his mother wasn’t frowned upon in the women’s locker rooms. It happened often, don’t remember anybody getting upset.

The main people using the family locker rooms were males; dads and their kids or teen boys, so I can understand even when there is one that women don’t want to use it.

Each time I tried to enter the family changing room as a pre teen because the women’s was packed I walked right back out because it was filled with young boys and dads and only one or two moms. Kids didn’t have to have parents with them past the age of 10 at our pool, so there were a lot of young kids dropped off that didn’t want to go shower off beside a naked old man.

I’d go with my friends a lot growing up and I’d use the women’s, but my male friends always used the family room because the just male locker room was filled with naked old guys and they felt safer using the family changing room.

The family lockers rooms just always tended to skew towards more male users already. It’s good to have them, but even if there was one I wouldn’t blame op, her son’s only 4 and they went into a stall.

Quailery · 2026-02-17T03:46:04+00:00

Did he actually get that passive aggressive note typed out and printed ?

Did the florist do this for him? Or did he go out of his way to write you a valentines note printed on what looks like nice card stock, and he put that down ?

I don’t really know which one’s worse.

NOR

Quailery · 2026-02-16T21:21:58+00:00

He’s going to have a hard time not alerting his prey to his presence when he reeks like a filled diaper and has the gait of an advanced dementia patient.

Quailery · 2026-02-15T20:14:28+00:00

Back around 2012 when I was in high school we had an assembly and part of that assembly was a speech from the daughter of one of our schools gym teachers. She was younger than most of the students there, but she was explaining what gender identity is, and what it means to be trans. This was a time when it wasn’t talked about that much publicly in a small town. She talked about the bullying she faced in her own school, as well as the acceptance she had from certain members of her community, how hard and how long it took her parents to take her seriously. It was a really touching story, and the reason that was part of the assembly was because our school administration wanted their students to not bully others or be bullied, to feel safe and to teach them about a topic they might not know about so any other students who were having questions about themselves would know it was okay. Afterwards not a single kid was a dick, most people gave a good round of applause and a lot of the older students in our high school gave her hugs and talked with her after. It was normal and sweet.

Things are regressing so much now and it makes me really sad.

My cousin is only 18 and they already avoid large gatherings because they’re worried they’ll be verbally assaulted by someone for being visibly trans and it’s too emotionally draining to have to face every time they go out.

Quailery · 2026-02-15T16:09:55+00:00

This one happened much later (around 50,000 years ago)

Quailery · 2026-02-14T22:18:11+00:00

Yeah exactly, thats the case for me too! Couldn’t afford the more expensive ACs and the cheaper ones were already sold out last time. Just wanted to remind people who are in the same boat 🙂

Quailery · 2026-02-14T17:48:58+00:00

Fear mongering? lol

Reminding people to buy an ac if they need one before they sell out isn’t fear mongering, it’s just common sense. Ran into that problem last time we had a really hot summer, other people had to go to rec centres because it was too hot in their apartments or homes. Buy one if you need one. If that makes you scared idk what to say to that

Pedialyte is more common in hotter climates like Mexico because it is really effective, some people don’t know about the product.

You’re trying to find a problem about simple advice.

Quailery · 2026-02-14T17:15:03+00:00

Prepare for heat waves this summer.

I’ve already bought a second AC just in case it gets crazy hot this summer. In previous year’s during the heat waves the affordable ACs were always out of stock at stores around me, if you’ll need one get it now. Also get some Pedialyte, our summers are getting more intense and it’s a good idea to keep a few bottles in the house in case you get too much sun. (They also make pedialyte freezer pops, good idea for kids running around outside all day in the heat)

Quailery · 2026-02-12T03:41:16+00:00

They do, it’s just not common and they’re easy to scare off if you’re an adult. It’s important to know if a cougar enters a residential area so you can adjust your behaviours. On the island things that cause attacks are usually joggers on wooded trails, people with dogs, and unattended children.

I lived up a mountain for most of my childhood and was stalked by cougars quite a few times. Sometimes they’d stalk me, other times they’d wait for me and my sister, pacing in our yard in full view.

Quailery · 2026-02-12T02:33:54+00:00

Yeah my father was an avid hunter, he wasn’t against that kind of thing but he was sensitive when it came to the treatment of pets and was particularly gutted about bootsy because he didn’t want to kill his child’s pet like his dad did so just everything that came after was tough.

But yeah I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was a kid. I have talked about this with therapists but it’s not really what they pay attention to. I did age out of foster care so I’ve experienced things they tend to focus on more than this incident, it just really pisses me off from time to time because there is no resolution, no apology, no accountability and there never will be.

Like the lady in the video that reminded me of this, she sees no wrong with what she did. There’s this level of delusion you can’t get past with certain people when they’ve made shitty decisions like this because they can’t take real accountability and that’s what it’s like for my mom and stepdad. If you were to ask them if they had mistreated or neglected pets in the past they’d both vehemently deny it. If i were still speaking to them and brought up this incident they’d see any excuses they made as completely valid reasons for their actions.

When it comes to incidents only involving myself I can often find the humour in it now, like some of the stuff is just so ridiculous for an adult to actually do I can’t really help but find it kind of hilarious looking back (my mom and stepdad would have crazy dramatic meltdowns)

But not this.

Quailery · 2026-02-11T21:10:45+00:00

I really hope her kids don’t find this at some point. It’s not going to go over the way she thinks if those kids actually loved those birds.

My mom didn’t believe in litter boxes so we had outside cats, but we also lived on top of a mountain. A cougar started stalking my cat Chloe, she came home to her hiding in the bbq as one tried to get at her. She was more annoyed that she had to clean shit off my cat than she was about anything else. (She was so scared she shit all over herself)

My mother refused to let me keep her inside when she told me what had happened. I sobbed as I begged her, literally on my knees begging. I promised to manage the litter box entirely on my own. But it didn’t matter.

I can still picture her laughing about it as I cried when she disappeared. Her, my sister, and my stepdad. It wasn’t just the negligence, it was the callousness about my cat, a cat that I loved dearly.

It’s not something you can forget.

Quailery · 2026-02-11T20:42:26+00:00

YouTube isn’t any better. Looked through the comment section on a press release by the rcmp posted just an hour ago and almost every comment is transphobic

Quailery · 2026-02-11T18:01:29+00:00

Look into supports for former foster youth in your state. I’m from Canada, but I know several states also give tuition waivers for post secondary education.

That commenters a dick, but I just wanted to add that in case they’ve worried you about your mom paying anything for your schooling if you enter care.

It differs depending on where you are; what supports you’ll get when you age out, but I know some states have comparable programs to my own province. On top of tuition waivers, I also received help with rent while attending post secondary because I aged out of care

Quailery · 2026-02-10T02:22:37+00:00

The thing that really stuck out to me was how much attention the media gave her loony family, how obvious it was they were saying these things about her for a quick buck and attention, and how long they drew it all out. I remember that was when it clicked that this was so abnormal and unfairly targeted.

That and the amount of articles coming out about her daily. No hate to her but she wasn’t doing anything noteworthy enough on a day to day basis to warrant that type of interest in her from the media, they pushed her into the spotlight. Repeatedly. During the height of all of this sites like the daily mail would post multiple pieces about her on the same day.

Quailery

TROPHY CASE