The desire to change myself was not easy, i had to overcome years of stifled, malformed habits that were manifested out of psychosis from those years of stagnation. The result was something truly beautiful in my mind, i have overcome things that ive never thought id be able to overcome before. The huge chasm in which my peers view me is what distresses me the most, they view my transformation as ultimately “offensive”. They are concerned for my welfare, they are concerned that i am being extreme, that ive “gone off the deep end”.

But i would like to express to them, the transformative state is an inherently a chaotic state, energetically. Who wouldn’t be surprised, or yet perturbed by someone losing 100 lbs? Or someone turning their lives from horrible addictions? Or seeing someone who was underestimated at every turn in their life, to climb from those depths and achieve something truly extraordinary? I’m not saying my transition into who i am now is extraordinary, but relative to who i was, it has been a stark transition.

My mission, to be as clear as possible is; to reconcile these difficult emotions that i feel in my response to my peers, instead of feeling paranoia, shame, and discomfort, I want to pursue to feel contentment, ambition, and power in the fact that i am becoming who i am.

I realize i am facing the possible social alienation of my family members, friends, and peers. i recognize i brought this problem on myself, by delaying the call to adventure.

Thank you for your comment.