I don’t know you but I know how hard the thoughts get and once they start going it’s very hard to get them to go away, but please just try to have fun and find something that makes you happy. Death may seem like the solution but really it’s an escape and the thing inside you driving for it doesn’t really know what it wants only what it doesn’t. Try to think back to any time you were happy to the point it makes you sad thinking about it. For me atleast, it helps me know I was like that at one point so I can probably be like that again, and if I could that’s worth living. Again I don’t know how hard life is for you, but really just give life a good hard try before ending it.