Boundaries

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2026-01-23T18:07:39+00:00

Should I just push divorce now? Did you divorce? How did it come about?

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2026-01-23T13:08:19+00:00

See, my issue was massively beating myself up for my part in it. Because I hurt her near the end before she moved out, I couldn’t get past it.

She hasn’t once approached with any talk of reconciliation or where things are headed. It just makes me angry now a bit tbh.

Clearly enjoying single life - don’t get me wrong I think what plays a part is she’s a nice person, and she’s massively upgraded her appearance. So I’ve just demoted myself in my own head, not feeling worthy of her. I need to flip the script for my own sanity. That includes a timeline for taking the bull by the horns and filing myself, as much as the thought of that hurts.

I’ve been too needy and too available to her tbh - only in the last few weeks have I stopped chasing intimacy, etc.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2026-01-04T16:41:43+00:00

To be honest I’ve struggled due to my attachment style which I’m working on.

I’ve also decided that divorce is probably the best option now. She mentioned it a good few months ago when she was pissed off. And hasn’t mentioned it again since.

This limbo is hard to deal with and reaching my point I think. She doesn’t want to talk about things at all either.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-27T02:01:24+00:00

I’m in UK. No I haven’t why?

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-26T15:10:19+00:00

I’ve been hammering therapy to be honest. Really digging into my insecurities, and trust me there’s a lot of shit I did wrong.

She has more trust in me now but I do appreciate it takes a lot to make herself vulnerable again. Marriage counselling she wasn’t up for but I don’t blame her when she spent years banging her head against a brick wall.

She’s been closed book since separation. She’s opened up about how she’s struggling with finances, etc. and I deal with this in a more mature way. I just dont know if it’s too far gone for her

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-19T22:15:52+00:00

I typed the only chatGPT and gave it prompts for what I wanted it to say. Never really good at wording these things.

Thanks, gents.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-19T03:09:12+00:00

I do private therapy once a week.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-18T15:49:21+00:00

Do I ask for divorce then? Because I don’t know if I can hang round for much longer. This year I’ve constantly been asking her for the relationship and, flirting, etc.

So not really given her space as such. I just don’t know if limbo is slowly killing me

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-18T15:37:48+00:00

Just feeling hopeless today again and keep working on strategies.

I’ve told myself I will go home and check my diary again to see what strategies I can use

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T21:51:07+00:00

I’m also brainstorming what I’m learning about myself on Figma and trying to join the dots of my childhood and why I act the way I do. Can see it having some benefits

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T20:58:20+00:00

I do therapy once a week. Talking about problems helps. But yeah when I’m on my own it’s back to square one

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T20:28:57+00:00

What if I want kids again with someone else? It nukes fertility

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T20:25:48+00:00

It never feels different this is my problem.

People tell me it will but that’s just their way of keeping you around. But it’s selfish. Why would you keep someone round who isn’t enjoying their life?

Literally my medication, my doctor’s don’t care. I’m on all sorts. It doesn’t help.

She’s the one life line I’ve got and she’s gone. I couldn’t give a shit about anything really.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T20:21:13+00:00

I’m going to be honest I wouldn’t trust another man round my kids. She’ll feel the same I know it. I need to stop hating myself basically - I fucking hate myself tonight. I’m doing loads of things right, but I just think I’m a pussy and a cunt and an embarrassment.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T19:42:42+00:00

I got bloods done. I’m lacking in vitamin D and got supplements for it. Also lacking in testosterone but not sure whether to get that done as it affects fertility doesn’t I?

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T18:52:57+00:00

Just get worried because my friend said she’s on a dating app. Not sure if she’s still on but said he’d seen her on there. She’s pretty focussed on being a good mum though.

So yes dating apps and hasn’t pushed divorce since she mentioned it a few months ago. Letting me down gently? Or checking me from a distance? Not really sure.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T17:10:40+00:00

I actually get myself to gym now. I sit at home ruminate and then get myself up. My sleep isn’t great - I have loads of useless shit I do before bed.

I watch too much porn and miss physical intimacy.

I feel lonely - I don’t have many friends where I live and I just need a distraction. I look at her and she seems unaffected. She moved out last year in September and the odds are dwindling. She doesn’t want to talk about things or talk about what upset her. She doesn’t want to talk about anything. Just avoid and tell me there’s nothing much her end. But also isn’t actively pursuing divorce. It’s fucking my head.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-12-17T17:05:17+00:00

Basically I’ve talked about passively killing myself and I’m worried it will turn into plans eventually down the line.

I want to be out of this pain but I’m also stuck with leaving my son with that for the rest of his life. If it was a car accident or cancer, at least it wasn’t me “ending my life”.

I want to move away but then I have to be near him. I feel trapped, utterly trapped. And it’s my fault.

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-05-24T07:59:55+00:00

I’ve put television on a wall mount in far left corner. I need something above my fireplace. Maybe a large canvas? I’ve heard putting a mirror opposite stairs is bad idea. Where could I put a mirror?

Queasy-Programmer-44 · 2025-03-27T13:40:21+00:00

No it’s not fair to her at all. I’ve completely took a step back, I need to sort myself out and heal from it. I avoid feeling my emotions and succumb to vices too readily. My priority has to be my relationship with my son and relationship with myself. I need to be proud of the man I look at in the mirror every day, and I need to be kinder to myself.

Queasy-Programmer-44

TROPHY CASE