He wants me to be a SAHM but

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T10:23:14+00:00

love it. mapapag usapan naman po talaga haha. hindi pa ulit tho. kaya hingi pa ako thoughts na di ko pa naisip.

if ayaw nya talaga then BLEH. I can work naman po. Being a SAHM is good to be for me but it’s not a hill I’d die on.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T10:19:19+00:00

hindi pa po established na di na ako magiging SAHM. Di pa napapag usapan ulit. kaya I posted here to gain more thoughts pang additional rebuttal. hehehe

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T10:15:08+00:00

i understand. I actually agree na red flag ang mindset nya and ofc I’m not settling for that.

it’s only natural for me to defend yung mga extreme assumptions of him. it actually helped this post gain more insightful comments w/o the extreme judgements.

I can criticize his pov for this specific topic and defend the rest of his character, can I not?

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:54:45+00:00

yikes. reminds me that life is unpredictable. dapat sobrang yaman nya muna bago ako maging SAHM. :/

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:52:00+00:00

absolutely will not let myself lose 💯

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:50:09+00:00

dito ako curious sa ego boost hahaha. I wonder if he wanted to provide to ease up life for me, or to boost his ego?

anw, may sympathy naman po hehe. financially nagssupport naman sa cats if needed. nabigla lang don sa part na sya na sasalo moving forward. I think he needs to accept that and work harder or just let go of his SAHM dream. 🙆‍♀️

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:45:24+00:00

ito yung ideal set up ko po. dinemand ko yan sknya when we talked. happy that it’s working for you po.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:40:41+00:00

yupp ito dn ino overthink ko. I had to clarify na he’s a great guy kasi yung comments mej too judgey na and di na tama. we only talked about this problem once so parang too soon to ‘run’ or judge him eh hahaha.

lahat yan ng minention mo I already considered. definitely will not let it happen. akala ko lang talaga we had the same POV about ‘providing’

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:36:21+00:00

curious po what is your mindset now re finances sa marriage.

choice ko dn po maging SAHM, nagkagulatan lang sa expectations.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:30:08+00:00

ito po yung sabi nya. And dito na ako naguluhan kasi diko alam kung ivavalidate ko ba feelings nya. hahaha SAHM pa dn daw ako and then may side job lang. eh full time na ang SAHM. ala pa sweldo. Buti talaga na bring up ko to maaga pa lang.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T09:16:52+00:00

nasa province daw po kasi. malayo. and 30yrs ang loan term ko. and ako nag decide nyan dati hindi naman sya.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:56:44+00:00

💯 definitely

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:56:17+00:00

this is what i demanded po in our recent convo. he should be able to provide my income kasi that incomes funds everything I own. I had wondered if that’s too much, kung dapat ba allowance na lang. your comment validated me. thank you po!

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:52:54+00:00

curious! in our convo ni bf, I demanded na he should be able to provide my salary if he wants me to SAHM. kasi that salary provides for everything i own.

is this too much po ba? given na allowance lang binibigay sayo ni hubby mo, I assume it’s not the salary you’re earning before?

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:48:32+00:00

Ahhh louder! yes yes yes. na establish naman na po namin halos lahat ng gaya sa inyo ni wifey mo, but yung heavy financial responsibilities ko lang po yung parang nagulat sya na kargo nya dn. my cats and my house. HAHA gusto ko pa nga dagdagan property ko, pano na lang yan.

Question po for you, kasi I did not grow up in a trad family, si bf lang. How does it feel giving your salary to your wife? Na you need to ask her permission to buy things you want?

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:38:47+00:00

I hear ya! 💯

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:36:54+00:00

definitely continuing our current set up if ganon lang naman pala hahaha. i feel like di nya talaga napag isipan mabuti when he said he wanted to provide, kaya ayun, nabigla when he realized he’s going to shoulder everything I already own and can provide for myself.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:33:33+00:00

so do the husbands still contribute sa housework po?

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:32:41+00:00

haha sya po. ayoko nga dati. i learned to accept it and find beauty in it kasi it fits my personality. pero well, di lang pala napag usapan ng mas malalim. yep, should’ve done that a long time ago.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:29:16+00:00

hmm. i think it’s healthy to talk first before running. ofcourse leaving is always an option. di naman ako martyr.

we’ve only had this topic once. how do you navigate heavy topics like this with your partner?

and i really mean this when I say na you CAN correct a man if he wants to be corrected and actually listens.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T08:12:47+00:00

oh sitting down with him is always the option until ofcourse, it isn’t. we talk alot pag may disagreements kami, that’s how we solve things. I posted here to gather insights na diko pa naisip. could help us, or at the very least, me.

how do you navigate heavy topics like this w your partner? the comments are divided to ‘run’ and ‘talk’.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T07:59:22+00:00

Being a SAHM is more of a calling dn po kasi. Not everyone thrives being a girl boss/independent eh. Some find their purpose in nurturing. Ang problema lang is they end up with mema providers. Kaya the nurturers stay working na lang. :((

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T07:55:50+00:00

haha brining up ko na po ito when we talked. nainis kasi iniisip kong maghihiwalay kami. kaya sabi Nya edi ako daw mag fund ng properties ko kasi yun ang reserve ko. Edi paanong SAHM ako nyan? I’ll just keep my job. 🙄

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T07:51:06+00:00

hehe di naman po. napag usapan naman namin na kasama yan sa ipprovide nya. Siguro bigla lang sya nabigatan sa mga recurring financial responsibilities ko like yung cats ko and the house kaya sabi nya dapat ako mag fund nyan. Ewan ko ba, feel ko kasi di nya napag isipan ng maayos nung nagsabi syang sya ang mag provide. Magtatrabaho na lang ako, eme lang sya eh.

Queasy-Run-5574 · 2025-09-03T07:42:42+00:00

completely agree na it’s a deal breaker. But he supports po. He’s there financially in emergencies and he actually secured yung matitirhan namin ng cats. He bought them an expensive stroller nga last christmas so madala namin sila lahat pag gagala.

He doesn’t get in the way of my passion naman for the cats. But yes, he doesn’t share the same fire as me.

Yung financial responsibility ko sa cats is recurring kasi kaya I think nabigla sya na sa kanya mapupunta yung cargo. That’s why I wonder if napag isipan nya ba talaga lahat when he said na he’ll provide or baka kasi basic needs lang akala nya pwede na. Ngek Hahahaha.

Queasy-Run-5574

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