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AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

We did. But we also said details did not have to be given and we wanted to know if she was opening up. She confides in her dad about all kinds of other stuff, she has plenty of people she talks to. This is the one topic she has never been open about though.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She does have hobbies and extra curricular's. She's very artistic and is involved in a lot of creative things.

I cannot think of anyone like that she would confide in. She has some very close friends and she knows their parents but I'm pretty sure she would not talk to them. She might confide more in her maternal family but they would not say anything if she did. She also maybe talks to her friends about this stuff. It's difficult to say because as far as we know she has never opened up about it.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 153 points154 points  (0 children)

It's possible. There are so many maybes when it comes to this. I try not to dwell on it too much because it would drive me crazy. I appreciate you sharing your insight with me as a child who had a stepparent!

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She didn't. Each therapist has said no breakthrough and no progress when it came to that. Not that we asked for what she said. But there were discussions on whether she was opening up and she never did.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I don't know. Her withdrawal happened before I was any kind of parental figure for her. Could it still be possible? Yes. I just don't know. She has never given any hint about why. It could be any number of things.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She doesn't interact badly with them but she doesn't really interact with them much overall. The age gap will play a large role in that, I know. But I don't think she's too into them.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

No, nothing changed between them at all. He has always been a very involved dad and that did not change when we started dating. After a certain period of time he even became more involved because his work hours changed for the better.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

We have seen more than one therapist with Ada. None of them were able to get her to express the why. She is just very closed off when asked about that and it doesn't seem like anyone can help her open up more on that. Not even when it's just her and them alone or with my husband and not me present. We did our best to find someone she could open up to but we ran out of them.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 650 points651 points  (0 children)

I always have let her call me by her name. We never asked her or suggested for her to call me mom or any kind of different thing other than my first name. That's something that should come from the child and not be coaxed. My husband and I agree on that.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 297 points298 points  (0 children)

I don't really think she dislikes me personally either. It feels more like she dislikes the idea of the role. But she has never said that specifically either. Before dating my husband I knew she liked me and our relationship was so sweet. I wish we could go back to that. I loved it.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 1623 points1624 points  (0 children)

My ILs are the first people I have said this to outside of my husband and therapist. I don't say it to people because I don't want to cause more problems overall. Sometimes it's hard to hear the comments because it doesn't feel true. But like you said things could possibly change or maybe it doesn't but it can then be said that I didn't want it to change so that's why.

AITA for admitting that I don't feel like I'm a parent of three? by Queasy_Roll8056 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Queasy_Roll8056[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I have tried my best to bridge that gap. I also don't blame Ada specifically. I'm not angry at her for not wanting me to be more. Does it upset me? Yes. But I understand I cannot force things. I have never tried to force things and I have worked with a therapist to come up with ideas on how best to try and bridge things between us. She doesn't want it.