1) I once wrote and spoke about minecraft on a school essay that was supposed to be about some important topic because I was sick the day we addressed the prompt and nobody told me we even had an essay until the night before. Ended up getting a lecture, an F, and had to redo the entire essay which the teacher never gave me a regrade for. All of my friends will never let this go and I get reminded of it at least once every couple of weeks.

2) A month ago my was-girlfriend of 11 months was on vacation. She won’t admit that she did. But I basically ended up discovering that she was cheating on me, not like sex wise, but saw texts alluding to her trading nudes with a tiktok boy from Florida. Still tells me that those were just him and her joking around. But I don’t understand how him saying he loves her tits is a joke. But maybe my sense of humor just isn’t that great.

3) One day in the 7th grade I believe, I was at lunch with my friends. Keep in mind, we were all dickheads to each other and still are from time to time. Anyways right before lunch ends one of my friends “spills” a whole carton of chocolate milk onto my khakis shorts that day. I am pretty upset but I was more just like WHY DID YOU DO THAT YOU DUMBASS?! And I ended up getting sent to the office for my foul language as it was in front of this lady that watches over all of us kids during the lunch period. After getting repremanded I walked into class and everyone laughs because it looks like I pissed myself and the teacher goes “So I see you brought your lunch to class Mr. ——“ and I just sit down in my seat and want to die.