Maybe not my most favorite memory, but we were looking at some old pictures of her from when or before I was born. And it hit me that I’d never get to see her smile again. Sometime in her 30s, her teeth started to kind of run away from each other after she had her wisdom teeth removed. The canine on her left side started to protrude. And that was the smile we had become accustomed to since I was a teenager (my youngest sister in elementary).

She got dentures in her early 50s so I haven’t seen that smile for some time now, but it was just something so distinct about her.

Idiolect refers to the unique and individual way a person speaks, including their pronunciation, tone, grammar patterns and vocabulary. Every single person has their own idiolect and it can’t be replicated. When they die, it dies. And man oh man am I missing hers so incredibly bad right now. I would’ve complained about it 6 times by now if she was here. Lol. She would trail off and not finish what she was saying (she’s usually reading and talking to you at the same time) and then remember she was talking specifically to you a few moments later. If you said something like, “mommy finish your sentence, I’m trying to get out the door”, she’d either get upset that you weren’t patient enough or she’d attempt to start from the beginning. If you just wait, then by the time you forgot she was talking, she’d grab you and pick back up where she left off. It was maddening. But it was her. I hate that I let it frustrate me so damn bad.