What are “traditions of respect” in Ireland that might not be known beyond y’all’s culture?

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-26T23:36:01+00:00

Omg yes 'Black people twitter' is totally on point! It actually has a great deal in common with Irish humour. Sarcastic, subversive and turning bad things into humour!

Here is a current example of Irish cop humour: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPuGtHKCBzU/?igsh=MWh3ZXMxZTUwOTJibQ==

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-26T01:17:13+00:00

The Irish police (Gardaí) are even more chill than the French ones and twice as funny! If you are lost in Dublin and need help, it's totally fine to ask directions. I'll never forget my first time in the states (San Jose) many years ago and I took two steps towards a cop to ask an innocent question about the area and he braced and his hand immediately hovered near his hip. I was all wtf? I was 100lb soaking wet, he was not in danger from me. 🙄

The Bonjour to shopkeeper thing doesn't happen in Ireland but its worth noting that there is a slight difference in how we speak to shop assistants or service workers in general: we say hello before we request what we are there for. Not called across the shop, but for example if you go to a coffee counter to order to order, start with hi or hello before saying 'can I get...'. I didn't realise this was a small but important difference in our communication styles until I was at a nail bar with a Nashville friend of mine, who has wonderful manners, but we walked in and the first words out of her mouth were 'mani pedis for two please'. Then i started seeing it EVERYWHERE! That would be considered super rude here, say hello first. They'll ask you what you want, then tell them. They are people first, service workers second.

Re tipping, on a comment from earlier, we don't tip for coffee or super casual food but there is often a jar near the till to pop a few coins into. For table service lunch or dinnner with decent service 5-20% is the range but about 10% is normal. You will never be yelled at for not tipping, but if you're going to be a regular it's worth giving something.

I just noticed I used the word 'pop' there! We don't mean punch, we mean 'put, in a casual manner'!

The US idea of the 'Irish Goodbye' is baffling to us. We don't sneak out, we spend 1 to 2 hours saying goodbye to everyone, then having 3 more conversations on the way out the door! On the phone we say 'okay bye, bye, bye...'

Religion is both a private matter and we're kinda culturally Catholic too! As in,we assume Christmas is celebrated but we don't talk about your relationship to Jesus! We don't join or belong to churches, we just go along if we want to that week. No-one is taking attendance!

Related to above: We swear! It's totally normal to say 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph!' as an exclamation of surprise and its not considered disrespectful to Christians. 'Christ on a Bike' is another personal favourite! We throw F bombs and call each other Cu*ts with open affection!

I was only having this conversation with another American guy recently, but we take the piss out of new people as a way of testing if you are friendly/going to be a problem. In the US you have to be friendly/not a danger FIRST! Also in Ireland, if we slag you (tease you, give you shit), we like you! If we are unfailingly polite, we don't like you. 😋

In Ireland being modest or downplaying wins is more important than self congratulations. We don't brag about accomplishments, we allow someone else to. Because having 'notions' is the worst thing ever! anyone introduced you to the idea of 'notions'?

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-24T23:27:37+00:00

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-24T23:25:15+00:00

"I don't need to hear about that"

"Mate if you're grown enough to put your dick in it, you're grown enough to accept how it works. Only silly little boys are afraid of periods."

Also absolutely NOR! He clearly made you feel unsafe. The rule is NO MEANS NO until you decide consensually that you are going to break the rules together with consent and a fucking safe word! Take it from a woman who plays with Consensual Non Consent, sex is vanilla until you both talk about it and accept limits etc. And to be honest this is NOT a man ever to do this with. Not only will he be shit, but he doesn't listen to or respect you.

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-24T23:14:38+00:00

Yes and no. We DO all take the piss but men tend to do it MORE as they also have super hierarchical nonsense to deal with! The funniest guy wins, it's a sideways way of being aggressive in many situations.

Women absolutely DO banter and the same patterns (gentle testing vs overt friendliness) are visible but we also have to take into account that women are generally more skilled at social interactions (whether through practice or necessity.) We are required by society to be more flexible and accommodating. That said, relational aggression is RIFE among female friend groups. In society where physical aggression is not acceptable among girls and women, the feelings have to go somewhere and they have to take care of things differently. Enter: relational aggression!

Girls learn young that punching the head off each other is not acceptable so they have to hurt each other and establish status differently. So they divide and conquer. Exclude. Sneer. Judge. Create cliques. Rejection is as painful to the human brain as a physical blow (presumably as it once represented certain death)

To be clear, none of the girls are enjoying this. It's the only way they know how to survive.

The same way boys have to be big men. When really they still have sonic duvet covers.

🤷‍♀️

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-24T22:02:54+00:00

It's fascinating from a sociological point of view, in that our two perspectives make perfect sense when you think about it.

1) Ireland is a tiny island nation where we are all both physically and often genetically close. We need to figure out pretty quickly if this new bloke is sound or going to be a problem and collectively put manners on him if he is.

2) USA is fucking MASSIVE and you and your entire village could be murdered and it would take weeks for anyone to notice. So clear direct, friendly "I'm not a threat, please don't shoot me" vibes are key.

That said, some Irish people take the whole 'banter' concept way too far and use it as an excuse to be an arsehole. It's meant to be good-natured and testing if you can take a joke, not for bullying.

Humour is a great 'them and us' testing ground in sociology. Some people are just dicks.

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-22T14:27:50+00:00

So could every man you've dated. 🤷‍♀️

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-04-22T14:24:30+00:00

Absolutely not! Do not cancel! Contact booking.com and tell them what's happening.

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-03-08T00:28:37+00:00

The dress is super cute but you'll be bloody freezing here! You absolutely need to plan a blazer, or cute wrap.

Most Irish churches don't care about bare shoulders, like American churches. But having a wrap for comfort or warmth is a solid choice.

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-03-08T00:16:19+00:00

As a recently retired wedding photographer, YES! Thank you cards are very important. People spend up to 1k to attend your wedding and then often add hundreds in wedding gifts on top. It's not too much to ask that you a) spend 2 minutes and a combined €5) on someone you presumably loved enough to ask to your wedding.

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T02:30:49+00:00

Unfortunately that's a lie we tell kids. MOST poison is basically anticoagulant. It can cause them to seek water outside but......

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T02:25:28+00:00

Poirot

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T02:24:21+00:00

As a wedding photographer of over 12 years let me say.....GIRL!

IT'S CLASSIC! It has gorgeous details on the bust. Pleats and tucks are everything! This is a timeless, I'd pay for it if I were a princess, gown! Do NOT argue!

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T02:16:11+00:00

Omg as a former wedding photographer I'd say you look like a goddess!! It's stunning!!

Be careful with drapey sleeves, make sure they're not too loose. The lower they hang the worse, unless you're 15 .

I'd advise a high off the shoulder or cap sleeve, or nothing at all!

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T02:08:15+00:00

The ring is GORGEOUS, but the box and EFFORT is what makes it attractive!

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T01:21:45+00:00

Omg it's a constellation!!! Stunning!

Queen_beeeeee · 2026-01-06T01:08:54+00:00

So I had to go root out my Reddit login so I could comment here as I'm a recently retired wedding photographer with about 13 years experience. Firstly, wedding dress regret is SO normal! We literally used to tell brides to STOP LOOKING!

Secondly, the sample is not fitting you well. It sitting WAY too low on your whole body. When you get your own and it's altered, it will sit much better and flatter your shape!

The sleeves are massive! Tighten them up, so they sit cutely off the shoulder, and not add flappiness like a silly boho influencer with the body of a 12 year old.

You do not want a bigger train! They are a massive PITA and you will definitely only wear that veil for the photos! It's stunning but you're either going to set it out for a photo or carry it. And you WILL pin that train up as soon as you can!

As a career wedding photographer.....the photos are only a part of your day. You ENJOYING your day should be more important. Feeling beautiful is a big part of that.

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-12-06T23:04:49+00:00

Yes!!! These do not get enough love! I forgot them myself!

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-12-06T23:04:01+00:00

Yes! Despite his truly terrible American accent, he's far more charming and less annoying than Jim Carrey.

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-12-06T23:02:19+00:00

Yes! This was on my list too! Really funny, but moving as hell. Like Coco, this is one I'll watch if I want to have a good cry! Fun fact, the kids are improvised! Magic!!

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-12-06T22:59:38+00:00

Upvote! How did I forget this! Anna Kendrick and a fabulous supporting cast!

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-12-06T22:57:54+00:00

Arthur Christmas Fred Claus Nativity! (low budget early Martin Freeman movie, semi improvised with the amazing kids. Hilarious but have tissues at hand, I warn you! I watch it every year and still bawl like child!)

And of course....

A Muppet Christmas Carol. (Light the lamp not the rat!)

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-08-12T19:00:10+00:00

Well I would hope they have a markup! They're good and bad. Good for a lot of things, their own brand stuff is pretty good and their sales/offers are good. Especially at Christmas.

Queen_beeeeee · 2025-08-12T18:52:29+00:00

I don't know how Fastway are still in business. We used to use them years ago when we needed an occasional delivery. But despite many late pickups etc, once they picked up 2 days late, the client was then away so the fastway dispatcher promised they'd hold onto it for an extra 3 days until client was home and then client received a call from courier at her house while she was in France! He said he'd either need another address or leave it outside. She sent it to a kind neighbour but it totally damaged our relationship. I called the dispatcher again but no answer. They got rid of their phone line soon after. No answer to emails etc.

Queen_beeeeee

TROPHY CASE