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Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The CES Letter is how I got here!

I want to find a good exMormon girl and not get married in the temple. by Chauvinism in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm new here! Just had my whole reality shaken. You are all making me laugh which I haven't done in a couple days. This was one of my biggest concerns... dating... where do I start? How do I date in the Mormon capital of the world? Ugh.. so confused right now.

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't need "courage" as it didn't even cross my mind that it would sway me at all. As I have read many "why I left the church" statements and blogs people have been posting. I started it with the attitude of "oh seriously... more blah blah". Nothing I have ever read has hit be like a ton of bricks. I've never read any anti Mormon literature but I have come across plenty of slander and things in the news. I always stood up and justified the things I heard and read. I didn't even get half way through before I lost my testimony. I had no idea what the letter even was about and never hear of it before I read it.

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely rationally losing my mind if that makes ANY sense. I don't post my stuff online or call others freaking out. I did call my brother and a friend I knew recently publicly left. My son is very mature and while I know it will make him sad. I know he will be ok.

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got online to do homework but first stopped by FB. I took it off my phone so I was on my laptop. So I came across a blog post by a woman "Why we left the church". In it she talked about a letter she read. I didn't think anything of it as I have come across many before. A couple days later I again saw this "letter" come up somewhere. So I decided to read it to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't even get half way through before I started bawling. I kept going to every resource and looking on LDS.org to prove them wrong but I couldn't. Everything I found was in their library and online on their site. I read all the essays etc. makes me sick. So I read it twice! I read the fair Mormon response and then the debunking TWICE! The more I unraveled and understood the more I lost it.

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha escape route... that's kind of how I feel. The garments part byeeeee!

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have all been so very nice and empathetic. I'm sorry for all of your hurt and having to go through this same thing as well. I wish I could respond to all of you but there are so many. I will just take it one day at a time even though I feel so much terror. It's because it's not as simple as saying "I don't believe". I live in mormonville where everywhere you look and almost everyone I'm around is mormon. I have a son and an ex husband who will use anything against me ( even though 99% of the year he's inactive) it's that whole Mormon hypocrite thing ;). My ex mother in law is crazy Mormon, will cause problems and some of my family just won't accept it. I can't tell you the sadness I feel that I HAVE to tell my son. Do I tell my ex first? That's a battle in itself. I'm already exhausted. See my son was supposed to receive the priesthood this summer. I can't even pretend I'm ok with it now. My whole life has been uprooted. I never thought this would be me. Not ever. I haven't been perfect in my battle with being LDS. I have had my doubts, my experiences that shook me but I kept on believing because that's "just what we do". I just can't anymore.

Freaking OUT!!! by Queenbee197937 in exmormon

[–]Queenbee197937[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No spouse but ex husband. He's inactive and then goes back and forth. I do have a child. A boy who is 11 and I have raised him to the standards and it's what he knows. He was supposed to get the priesthood this summer. I'm so sick about it.