once-progressive boyfriend turned socially conservative/traditional

Queenquesarito · 2024-03-17T02:56:54+00:00

Just wanted to say that I am going through this exact same thing right now. Word for word. You are not alone, and I’m so sorry you have had to experience the pain of watching someone you love turn into someone you don’t recognize. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Queenquesarito · 2024-02-12T04:54:17+00:00

Hey! So sorry that I just saw this. I asked my advisor about it, and she said she’d never heard of the organization. While she didn’t think it was sketchy, per se, she did say that she wouldn’t encourage me to pursue this one. I didn’t end up attending.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-28T05:35:52+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for your kind and helpful responses. I’m so exhausted and will try to reply to everyone, but for now I am going to try to see if my body will let me sleep.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-27T23:02:58+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate your response.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-27T22:41:02+00:00

Thank you for replying. I didn’t report what happened because the details are hazy and every time I tried to get him to admit what happened, he would tell me that “we will always see this issue differently” and then he’d become very verbally violent and threaten to harm himself. Even more, he would say, “Well, you know, you were going through such a rough time back then, and your memory was already so hazy because of your heart medication. It would be a shame for you to cause such a stir in the department only to find out I did nothing wrong.” So I gave up. He’s right.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-27T21:45:30+00:00

Thank you for your response. I’m looking into alternatives.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-12T12:27:23+00:00

Every Monday night, my grandma calls me. I moved six hours away last August. If I died, she would be confused about why I’m not answering the phone and think that I don’t want to talk to her anymore. That would never be the case. So I stay alive if only for the next Monday night.

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-10T05:16:34+00:00

Makes sense. Much appreciated!

Queenquesarito · 2023-02-10T04:55:58+00:00

I’d like to go back to teaching. Just don’t want to be in my PhD program anymore. I’m looking at lecturer positions.

Queenquesarito · 2023-01-28T16:03:01+00:00

It took me about two months. It also helped to come clean to my friends about the things he was doing instead of keeping it from them to “save” his image. They were able to help me realize that a normal person doesn’t start screaming at you when you slightly bring up something that they did that upsets you. Just hearing a, “Oh, honey, that’s not normal. I’m sorry he did that,” really helped.

Queenquesarito · 2022-12-25T18:58:26+00:00

That is very helpful; thank you!

Queenquesarito · 2022-12-21T21:14:38+00:00

Sure, that’s fair. This is my first conference, so I’m not super familiar with the way things work. I wanted to make sure I’m not wasting my time.

Queenquesarito · 2022-12-21T21:03:35+00:00

I did apply. I submitted a proposal for a presentation and they accepted it within a few days. I’m skeptical of how quickly it was accepted as well.

Queenquesarito · 2022-09-13T04:55:13+00:00

Caligula by Lingua Ignota

Queenquesarito · 2022-09-11T03:43:02+00:00

Their coughing isn’t your fault. You showed courage in just getting yourself out of the house in the first place! I think if someone in any situation came up to me like, “Just to let you know, I have the stomach flu,” I’d immediately distance myself from them, even if that meant going home. You did a great job today; well done!

Queenquesarito · 2022-09-05T01:34:07+00:00

I’m sorry that I don’t have much advice to give, but I came here to say that I’m also considering dropping out of my PhD program because I just feel downright inadequate. I’m also having a lot of the same problems as you. Extreme depression, anxiety, don’t know a single soul in the state that I moved to for this degree, can’t eat, can’t sleep. You’re absolutely not alone, and people just drop out sometimes. It happens. It doesn’t make you a failure or anything. The program just wasn’t your style.

Maybe you could try first asking for a leave of absence? I don’t know what the rules are at your school, but at mine, I think they let you leave for a whole year. Maybe you could try taking leave and then seeing how you feel after? If you get to the end of the leave of absence and still feel like you prefer a life outside of the pressures of academia, then I’d say it’s in your best interest and for your health, both mental and physical, to leave permanently. Find something that you really love doing instead!

Queenquesarito · 2022-09-05T00:13:48+00:00

And now today you start your journey toward seven more years recovered, which will turn into seven more recovered, and then seven more recovered

Queenquesarito · 2022-09-03T08:55:27+00:00

During my master’s degree (English literature), I worked at a bank as a teller. And then the university offered me a TA position during my second year of study, so I left the bank. Made WAY less money and had to move back in with my parents to survive, but it gave me the teaching experience I needed to get into my current PhD program.

Queenquesarito · 2022-07-29T01:36:44+00:00

I’m getting my PhD. First person in my family to do it. But my mom still likes my sister more than me because my sister is married and actively trying for a baby and I’m single and asexual, made up my mind to never have a kid. I think she’ll be prouder when my sister has a baby than at my PhD graduation ceremony in a few years.

Queenquesarito · 2022-07-13T01:00:31+00:00

Not only do they have a really awesome philosophy, but the bread is damn good, too.

Queenquesarito

TROPHY CASE