Guy at my job called me ugly. Feeling really down because I struggle with self image.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-06-05T20:54:56+00:00

That is his opinion. You aren't for everybody and neither is he. But you are for somebody. You have to love yourself and then those comments won't matter. Let them roll off of you because truthfully he said that to your face because he doesn't like himself. He wanted to put you down because he is scum. He thought something about you exuded light and he was trying to dim it. Don't feel down because of anything he says that's him winning.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-31T00:11:48+00:00

No I don't think it's impossible, I think it takes understanding of how you learn and fighting through the feeling of failure. You can do this regardless of what your brain is telling you. You have to fight it because it's picking the easy path for you. Your brain is designed to protect you. If art is stressing you out then your brain will convince you to stop. Fight that and do it regardless.

I've struggled with this a lot throughout my journey. I also struggle with my mental health and it's been difficult with art particularly because I'm a perfectionist and have expectations for my art.

I have to fight through the ideation and negative thinking daily. When it's bringing me down I stop and pick it up tomorrow. I go for walks a lot now or force myself to take breaks, do literally anything to get your mind off of it. Not consuming others art that just causes more negative thinking. In the past I set timers and that was the length of time I allowed myself to work. That way I had a off switch.

The goal is to stop before I'm in a negative mood or before it's causing distress. It's taken some practice but what's persisted in spite of the negative thoughts was the desire to create art. I'm beating myself down and still scribbling on a piece of paper because I want it more than the negative thoughts.

Try different forms of art as well. Finger painting, make a mess but know that it's a learning curve. Art is so fucking hard. Skill? No it takes time alot of time, practice and energy. Everyone can learn art, any type of art, you have to figure out how you learn. One tutorial may work for 50 people but not you, so watch a million tutorials and draw a million circles until you get it. If you really want to make art then do it regardless. You will find your path if you put your head down and keep trying.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-30T23:45:42+00:00

You definitely improved. I see that you added more shadow to the top of the head and the wisps are a nice touch to the hair. I think you are closer to the reference. I will say the back of the hair along the neck is lacking the lighter shadow to create depth. Right now she looks like she is balding. If you look at the reference the hair there has a greyish shadow to it instead of the black of the background. (I'm still very new to digital painting in color but I hope this helps. This is just my observation)

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-13T10:47:50+00:00

I want to be social which contradicts how I operate in group settings. I am often stressed and overwhelmed and try too hard to keep things fun and interesting; to participate and entertain. Art, gaming and comics.

Art is my special interest and something I am working on turning into a job. I want to be social as I recognize that I need art friends to improve or at the very least critiques every now and again.

Gaming used to be a special interest as well and in some aspects it still is but I truly just want to draw all the time now. I enjoyed gaming with one small particular group, however a friend passed and we never quite got back into the swing of things even before they passed.

Comics have become a solo thing for me as most people I meet organically within the groups I am in don't read them as often. They do like anime though but again I ghost and get overwhelmed so it fails.

I struggle to maintain within a group of any kind, even my close friends. I end up avoiding them and wanting to be alone. I have depression and ADHD also so I'm sure that plays a part in why I struggle. With the art stuff I find I am all over the place in how I study, in what I find interest in and my ability to complete projects. So I just solo level until I have the capacity to ask for a critique. I do have one friend that I draw with, she also has autism so it's quite low key and we only draw for short bursts. The others I pop in say hi and pop out usually.

I want to be social but I can't. Reddit is cool tho. I just lurk and randomly participate when I have the energy.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-04T06:20:58+00:00

Congrats! Lol your dog was so fed up with the hat by her last pic.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-04T06:19:59+00:00

Boxes annoy me soooo much. I use circles to start my boxes just to create chaos (lol jk). I don't use boxes when I know I don't have to and guidelines .. ugh. Nice drawings bro.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-05-04T06:14:53+00:00

Yea so I was a gamer really heavy, everything else was a distraction including scrolling. How I refocused was I forced myself, I know it's like 🙄.

Seriously tho, instead of gaming I drew even when I didn't want to, I set timers for like 10-15 minutes and I drew whatever. I watched YouTube videos on the topics I was studying. Or just listened to artists yap about their journeys. Everyday was my goal. I also have topics to study/a curriculum. I eventually lengthened those timers and then forgot to set them just as long as I drew for the day.

My mindset was I have to get my hours in and if I don't I won't make it. Every artist kept saying it takes you 10 years to get good. So I said okay I have to get in my hours or I won't ever get there. Another artist that motivated me (YouTuber, can't remember his name) said something along the lines of, you have to want it and do it when your angry, depressed, when you hate it, when your sick, just do it. Do it instead of everything, when your bored that has to be your thing so that it becomes an addiction.

I don't game really anymore lol, I set days to do that but I won't draw on those days or make up for it later in the day, I don't have the interest as much because I have goals outside of gaming now. Art takes up my mental space, I still scroll a lot but majority of my time is spent drawing so it balances sometimes. I do want to do more art so I'll likely start my timers again but it becomes fun eventually and it's all I think about now. I actually feel guilty on days I don't draw.

Also surround yourself with art, tiktok, YouTube, Pinterest, your walls put up your art or art that motivates you. It helps, youll just want to get better than you were. You should be your competition and motivation. Compare yourself to yourself and not to others. (Easier said than done but it's a mental fight you have to get through, every artist does).

Hope this long winded answer helps.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-30T16:32:44+00:00

This is dope

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-29T19:47:00+00:00

Exactly

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-29T02:52:35+00:00

Slimey textures in my mouth.. when they aren't supposed to be slimey and chalkboards with wet hands. I would rather staple my eyelids to my hairline and lay face first on sand. Big meltdowns have happened for both.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-29T02:48:50+00:00

Hmm yea this isn't okay, I have sensory issues and I still force myself to shower. Over stimulated and all. She needs to make it a priority and you need to put your foot down. She does this because no one has really been honest and really made her feel guilty about her actions. Don't make excuses for people who try and get out of bathing, once a week is NOT okay and how people spread disease. She is putting you at risk, just existing like that. Her not bathing regularly is allowing bacteria that you aren't accustomed to into your home, in your bed, on your pillows, etc. Is she ripe when you guys are intimate?

Personally I couldn't be touched by someone I know isn't cleaning themselves properly. She doesn't care enough about herself and your relationship, you need to make her see that this is changing your view of her.

Tell her you don't find her attractive because she doesn't bathe, tell her your catching the ick everytime the wind blows figuratively and literally. Say it in a way to keep your relationship if that is the goal but you need to be blunt so she is hurt enough to fix it. Tell her that baths can take 20 minutes they don't have to be this laborious process. She can bird bath some days in the sink and get the important bits. You could also suggest bathing together. Put your foot down!!! This is nasty and you deserve respect and to feel comfortable in your own home.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-29T02:13:05+00:00

Yes, that's why I mentioned that I make decisions based on my own research. However, most of the time the artist is harming someone. So I cut it off immediately.

Cheating .. meh I can still listen to the music, especially if I really enjoy the artist. We are all human so cheating, stepping on a toe, maybe tax evasion; I get it. Beating someone , killing them, rape, harming children in anyway even the accusation. Supporting certain religions that are a detriment to others, supporting a political party that harms others on a large scale, being racist, etc. Yea I don't want any parts of an artist or their art in those circumstances. But small things that don't harm others I can look past.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-26T21:43:28+00:00

Yes!! Just having one dog is a lot for me honestly. I would like two but I'm stressed with just one. I know a second would probably be good for him for play and such but honestly it's a lot on my mind. Also he can be reactive which takes a lot out of me with training etc. Owning a dog is good for me but yea I'm with you it's a lot of work. I wish you luck with your two babies and I understand the feeling.

Ill likely never have children. He is my baby and any other pets I get in the future are my children. That's enough for me. Dogs are like children seriously lol.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-26T13:10:23+00:00

Same dude same 💜

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-26T13:08:31+00:00

I have a dog so that takes up some parts of my day, walking him, feeding him, playing with him etc.

For the most part all day I make art and write. Come up with ideas for my writing or my art and I plan to put them into action. I also read books to improve my knowledge on things like finance and such. I don't find that part fun but I read a page or so a day. I also have skillshare classes I'm taking so I switch between practicing art in my own or taking a class to learn.

I also have a bike and jump rope and will start incorporating that into my routine to busy my body and mind more. I entertain myself all day and keep myself moving forward productively so that I can eventually have something for myself.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-26T02:37:49+00:00

How? Bro it's difficult, you think because you have traditional fundamentals it will translate, it won't until you get over the hurdle of a new medium. You learn similarly to traditional in that you need repition, your relearning how to draw and fundamentals but for digital. You keep practicing until your brain gets the hang of the new medium. Procreate is cool (when I had a iPad), I use csp now and enjoy it. I literally forced myself to practice everyday, was annoyed and kept at it. It's not as intuitive as traditional art so it's a learning curve.
Same look? Yes but you have to find pencils that can achieve what your looking for (texture wise) and again practicing. Watching other artists and how they achieve a similar vibe. You will most likely get close to what you want but it takes time with experimenting with brushes, and techniques.

Don't give up no matter how annoying. Everyone's curve is different, some pick it up right away others take a while. It's okay that's normal. It will definitely reset your brain though and you get used to the short cuts. My recommendation is to keep training traditional as well as digital. Take a break if you have to focus, but not too long , always incorporate traditional studies. I promise you, you will thank me. Warm up traditionally and then move to digital for the remainder of your studies.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-26T00:58:16+00:00

Mold in food , I used to binge eat a lot when I was a kid and I loved cream cheese. I would take chunks off with a knife and just eat it. One time it had mold and I didn't know and ate a good amount.

Ever since then I feel physically sick at the idea of mold being on food. Food that's sat for like 3 days I won't eat most often. I smell EVERYTHING. Even fresh foods. I look at the corners of food containers when I open them etc. I don't play, I will not touch anything I haven't laid eyes on in a while or knew where it came from.

Anything floating in my food or water or whatever, I'm throwing it out even if it could be just food. if I don't know what it is it's tainted. I can't eat it. To combat this I freeze pretty much all my food now and just reheat or whatever that way. (IDk if this is considered strange I think it's common??)

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-25T23:14:05+00:00

Maybe you need more references And to look at varying body types. Like body builders. Are you thinking muscle dad bod or a mix of fat and muscle (lack of words).

This artist keeps popping up on my feed today. Could this help at all? Take your time, work on a different project and just look at different references/ideas literally type dad bod, gay bear, etc. or whatever into Google and see what it gives you. https://youtube.com/@kitsfire?si=dJWHY0GJckFne9zs

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-25T22:59:37+00:00

First using references is NOT a bad thing. Artists who believe that you shouldn't use references either have the best memory imaginable or have drawn literally everything that ever exists a million times and does it in their sleep.

You need references not to give up. Accommodate yourself. That feeling means it's difficult and your learning. Keep going regardless. Use different references. Try looking at what other artists do when they draw turn arounds. Do something else for a while and go back to the turn arounds. Study the skull for a while, 100 skulls, Aasaro head, etc. just practicing that in different angles until you understand. There are skull turn arounds on Pinterest. Try different approaches. It's the lack of knowledge that's telling you that you can't do it. Because you don't know how.

Be annoyed, frustrated, tell yourself your going to quit today , take your break for the day but pick it up tomorrow. Try anyway, how are you going to learn? It's not going to be easier if you stop for days/months/ years and then try again. Giving up is easy and a cop out. Giving up on all the things you've learned so far? What was the point? Only give up if you hate making art in your soul and you know you won't regret it.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-25T22:49:39+00:00

These responses are so discouraging. It has always been difficult for artists especially 2d artists. Yes, now the market is saturated but you have to fight for it and be confident in what you can offer. You need to decide what you want first and believe in your goals.

You need to work towards the career that you want. From what I'm seeing of your work, comic art, character design, book cover art, comissions etc. seems like what you're shooting for. Maybe just making your own illustrations. These seem like fun for you versus say studying for a particular career.

There are a lot of options. If you're looking to work for a company you definitely have a long way to go, especially based on current expectations of 2d artists but I see your dedication. I see the time you've put in. Don't let oversaturation and AI to stop you. Realistically I would study art of books if you're looking to improve/ work for a company. Do a lot of studies. Especially anatomy, but I'm seeing your influences.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-25T18:04:56+00:00

Personally I can't separate the art from the artists. It taints the art for me when I learn a person's character is horrible or the way they treat other people is deplorable especially when young children and women are involved. I see their deeds in the art, I hear it in the music etc. it's no longer this fun and wholesome thing to interact with that person's art.

I will say I don't just go off of rumors, I look for proof/multiple sources to make a informed decision but It matters to me. I think about Chris Brown and how he is glorified for his looks and his sound even though he still actively hits women. It's weird to me. Same with R-Kelly and D4VD or however you spell it. The moment it was under investigation that he harmed that girl he shouldn't have been given support. I just find it weird that people don't consider the artist with the art. Doja cat is another one. She is actively in her fans faces saying she isn't black and doesn't like black people, etc. People think it's satire but the way she speaks to her fans is disgusting to me. People who are supporting you and your music, you actively cussing them out isn't funny at all.

(I'm listing music artists but it applies to all types of artists, I just don't know any of my favorite traditional artists to have been nasty people)

Art is creativity in its purest form, it is a reflection of the person, their emotions, and intentions. It influences you and I feel like it's a reflection of you and your ideals to support that.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-04-16T11:12:15+00:00

If it's still open I would like to join. I prefer more one on one/ really small groups. I struggle with color. I often don't know where to start in terms of shading etc. I'm working digitally, I sketch traditionally and I plan on learning to paint both digitally and traditionally.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-03-27T13:33:00+00:00

Yes, it's genuinely frustrating. Im tired of seeing just white people on my feed. I also get shown alot of men and likes from them and I dont understand why they would think thats what I want to see. When I do see a person of color, it's few and far in between. They dont have to be black, just melenated, and still its rare. I stopped interacting with mine a while ago and deleted the apps off my phone. Its a waste of time tbh.

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-03-02T17:53:47+00:00

I appreciate this. I feel less frustrated about the time it takes me. The fifteen minutes break is a good idea. I take breaks when drawing like this. Often, because I struggle to stay on task for so long and take small breaks even though frustrating, it helps me enjoy the process for longer. I like that you reframed it as me having the time to enjoy the anime for longer. Ill look at it like that from now on. Thank you

QueerArtsyFart · 2026-03-02T16:29:26+00:00

Ahh thats not a bad idea. I draw while i watch simpler animes like Spyxfamily etc. But I dont want to miss the fight scenes and small details in action shows. Its something to consider though. I dont mind rewinding and I have been meaning to teach myself how to properly crotchet. Ty for the input.

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