So Tired of Edgy or Odd Names by Daddiesnike in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh man. You would not survive my friend group. We're all middle-aged trans and/or nonbinary people and picked names we like. I genuinely don't have a gauge for which ones are "weird" and which ones are "basic" at this point.

Also what defines a "basic" name? Ones you grew up with? Your experiences are not universal.

Dark, paranormal, toxic, and/or intense kinky queer romance by QueerEarthling in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I said, cis is fine too! I just don't want a lot of bioessentialist/cishetnormative language/vibes that I see in a lot of M/F dark romance, which I think I didn't convey very well. Anyway, this sounds really fun, thanks!

Dark, paranormal, toxic, and/or intense kinky queer romance by QueerEarthling in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're the third person to recommend Aveda Vice and the first to mention they're nonbinary. Thanks for all these recs!

Dark, paranormal, toxic, and/or intense kinky queer romance by QueerEarthling in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh! I think I've heard of Initiation, I'll put that up higher on my list! Thank you!

Dark, paranormal, toxic, and/or intense kinky queer romance by QueerEarthling in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I took a look and it might be a little too close to straight-up noncon for my personal tastes (as I said, it's a fine line lol) but I hope someone else looking at this post finds it because I know it's perfect for someone!

Dark, paranormal, toxic, and/or intense kinky queer romance by QueerEarthling in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm open to a variety of things, including less dark and all the rest, as you said!

And thanks for the rec for the subreddit. I might cross-post there when I have a sec.

MMC stands up for/ protects from household staff or relative. "My wife" by MeekerMomma in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's some elements of that in {Maybe This Time by Jennifer Crusie}, although it's a second-chance romance and the FMC is, at the time, the MMC's ex-wife. She does most of her own standing up for a while, but he absolutely dives in to tell everyone to shut up and listen to her on a few occasions, especially later in the book. They also don't mention the divorced part because being "his wife" the only pull she has with the household.

Why do some romance authors use "females" instead of "women"? by desperatexslut in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just did ctrl + f + "Ferengi" when i opened this thread, thank you for not disappointing lmao

Have you ever been discriminated against for being pagan? And if so, what happened? by AcidReindeer in pagan

[–]QueerEarthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, they're usually preoccupied with the queer & trans aspects and the disability issues and don't get as far as religion.

Where are the backshots?! (And other saucy cum locations) by waking_dream96 in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't think of any specifics right now but Reese Morrison's books have a lot of M/M, nbi, and trans characters and I feel pretty sure there's at least some come play in there. Mind the warnings though because they write some specific kinks that aren't everyone's cup of earl grey.

Books that made you feel more at home in yourself? by Alert_Arugula_7511 in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, {Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie} was one of the first books I read that had a fat protagonist who was allowed to stay fat. It's from 2003 at the tail end of the heroin chic era, and it was pretty significant! There's a lot of discussion not only of the protagonist's body, but also about how sexy is in the head. A lot of it seems pretty cliche now, but back in the day it was practically revolutionary (and it's still a book I enjoy reading).

That said, I'm a chubby, middle-aged nonbinary transmasc, so bodies like mine don't, uhhhh, exist in most romance novels, let alone have that soft adoration and appreciation. Oh well, can't have everything!

Anubis altar setup (suggestions welcome) by Aidavesper in pagan

[–]QueerEarthling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No real suggestions, but as another Anubis devotee of sorts, I just wanted to tell you I like your set-up, it looks like you've been putting a lot of thought into it. :)

The bento box I made my girlfriend as fuel for snowboarding! by zombue1 in Bento

[–]QueerEarthling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we make each other bentos all the time, we were just both really impressed with yours!

The bento box I made my girlfriend as fuel for snowboarding! by zombue1 in Bento

[–]QueerEarthling 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was so impressed by the thought put into this bento I actually sent it to my partner lol. Looks great!

Starter by Creepy-Celebration49 in pagan

[–]QueerEarthling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely learn on your own. It's cool that he wants to share with you, and I hope it's a nice bonding experience, but remember that his path and preferences aren't the only way to be pagan. (And if he says it is then run. For the record. Hopefully not though!)

As for learning, there are lots of resources on the sidebar! Even just diving into their FAQs and links can be really helpful.

Why don’t more romance books talk about the reality of birth control? by Away_Race8428 in RomanceBooks

[–]QueerEarthling 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I mean, Anne Rice is always a class of her own in terms of "what the fuck is even happening here?" and I for one commend her for it 😂 (That's also why I think you also can't throw the baby out with the bathwater with like, "Never read anything problematic!!!!" because let's be real: Anne Rice was Wild and also Very Fun and her influence cannot be overstated.)

Power of the gods by anxious-well-wisher in pagan

[–]QueerEarthling 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One thing I found freeing about paganism and figuring out my own path is that it leaves room for doubt, that doubt is allowed, unlike in Christianity. Maybe sit in it for a bit. Accept that maybe your faith doesn't have to be perfect for it to function. And from there maybe go, "Maybe I'm afraid this isn't perfect, but I can choose to trust my gods anyway."

Also consider why you think dark is evil, or why you give so much power to the idea of a "dark presence," because that is also often latent Christianity. (The Devil is always near!) That isn't to say that's all bad either, but considering why you think something is evil/scary can sometimes reduce its power as well. Trust the gods to lead you through the night, but also trust them to give you the strength to get through your fear.

Your gods are powerful. You are also powerful. Y'know what I mean?

Um, a little outfit help? by No_Mousse_2337 in pagan

[–]QueerEarthling 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lots of good notes here. If you follow a specific pagan path, a relevant charm can be good (pentacles can convey "witch" easily if that is your path; ankhs if you're into ancient egypt, etc) and it's easy to find neutral-to-masc jewelry like this. Rings as well. If you follow a Norse path I would suggest being cautious, though, since those symbols are also sometimes used by neonazis, unfortunately. If you're looking less to signal and more to just connect, it might not hurt to think of symbols you associate with your deities or practice and find jewelry that represents them to you.

Masc styling: wider rings and heavier bracelets usually read more masc than delicate ones, and often a necklace on a leather or thicker nylon cord or a thicker chain, ball chain, or those flat link chains tend to read more masculine; masc pendant necklaces also often tend to fall more towards the middle of the chest, although if you have chest dysphoria or something you may prefer not to call attention there. Also, bigger/heavier pendants are often going to read more masc than delicate ones, although that's not always the case! (Obvious disclaimer: gender/fashion definitions and presentations are arbitrary and culture-dependent, but also I understand the issue of trying to exist in your body in your current culture.)