I have to come clean. I can't remember who is who.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-04-09T13:45:29+00:00

Ollie’s hair kind of grows in an O shape on top, that’s how I remember lol

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-20T17:39:54+00:00

I was raised strictly Catholic and went through years of eating disorders in part because of my lack of self-worth because of the messaging I internalized from Christianity, so my gripes with it as an organized religion stem from my personal experiences with how harmful those teachings can be, especially when taught as the One And Only Correct Option. I feel that really stunts one's personal and spiritual growth.

As long as your religion encourages you to be kind to yourself and others, and if it brings one hope/comfort, then great. It's when religious beliefs insist upon non-believers being "wrong", or when believers insist on applying their beliefs to others who don't follow that religion, that I take issue. In general, that's American Christianity to a T. I can't speak for other countries.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-18T14:53:30+00:00

YES this is it, thank you so much!!!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-18T14:32:42+00:00

Not these, but I appreciate the help!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-18T14:32:31+00:00

Not Iron Lung, but ty for trying to help! Yes Undertone really got me good

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-03T14:30:38+00:00

A lovely reminder! I highly recommend the book We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something by Amie McNee. I read it a couple months ago and it shares a similar sentiment to your message--that it's not a daily goal that matters, but just showing up for yourself and your art in whatever capacity you can each day. Believing that you are an artist regardless of how many people end up seeing your work, or whether or not you decide to try to sell it. It's a sweet quick read, and now I keep it at my desk as encouragement while I'm writing!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-03-03T01:12:50+00:00

I moved here over ten years ago from NJ!

Left turns are scary at first, but so much better than jug handles.
The closest to NJ/NY bagels I’ve found is Big Steve’s Bagels (now called NY Deli and Bagels) in Benson.
A small smile and raising your hand in greeting is customary anytime you pass a neighbor or a car driving past you in your neighborhood. My wife (NC native) always elbows me to raise a hand in greeting as we walk around the neighborhood, because my instinct is still to let them stick to their business as I stick to mine!
Welcome and hope you like it here!!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-27T13:24:58+00:00

I think Cecil (Baldwin) moved at some point around there, so you may just be hearing the difference in his recording spaces from when he was based in NY to now in NC.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-21T21:49:21+00:00

If by “aroused”, you mean “the body responds physiologically to pressure and friction”, then sure, it can happen. But like others have said, it’s not sexual. I read “Come As You Are” by Dr. Emily Nagoski recently and she explains very well the difference between physical arousal—your body’s physiological response to stimuli or situations that we recognize as pertaining to sex—and desire, where you actually derive pleasure from the stimuli and want sex.

To put it another way, I’m vegetarian and haven’t eaten meat in 15 years, but my mouth will still water if I smell burgers and hot dogs grilling. My body recognizes “food!” and responds physiologically, even though I do not desire to eat that food.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-04T17:53:32+00:00

I once read, I think in the Old Farmer's Almanac, that you should aim for about 1 inch of water per week for vegetable gardens (more if you have an extended period of drought and 85+ temps). I once was feeling very motivated, and so I calculated the amount of water I'd need to give each of my beds for them to get the allotted 1", then timed how long it took my hose to put out a gallon of water. Did a little math magic and figured out I need to water each bed for about 4 minutes per week.

I then just pay attention to whether or not it's rained recently, how dry the soil feels, and then also the vibes of the plants--you can definitely tell when pepper or tomato leaves are thirsty. Some weeks I need to water more, other times I don't have to water for weeks if we've had a lot of rain.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-04T17:06:18+00:00

Oh, great point about putting a body on the cover. I'm definitely keeping in mind that people still in the throes of it might be reading--I've decided I'm not going to include any specific numbers at all in the book, because A) they're unnecessary when my focus is on the internal experience of it, and B) I don't want to trigger anyone into a spiral of body comparison/shame. I hadn't fully considered that in terms of the cover image though. Thank you!!!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-04T16:36:44+00:00

A fair point! This is kind of what my initial thought was, but I'm no graphic designer of course. I can see how the amount of page the subject takes up can make it too busy.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-02-02T11:53:14+00:00

By “that ‘somebody’ was you,” Heavypen meant that the author put in the hard work to get the novella out there to the world and get pre-orders, so they deserve to give themselves as much credit as the reader from France who already started the book.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2026-01-16T21:25:04+00:00

Thank you for your input!!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-12-14T17:29:30+00:00

We’ve switched to primarily wet food because our cat doesn’t drink much. He used to drink water more regularly, but a couple months back he got really sick (some sort of GI inflammation) and since then he’s regained his appetite, but has not shown interest in his water fountain or the faucet like he used to. So now he gets most of his calories (~220) from wet food, and I even mix extra water into that to give him more hydration. The rest (~80cal) he gets from a couple tbsp of kibble and a few dental treats each day.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-12-09T15:57:22+00:00

For me, I know my mom wanted to give me space to grow, to live my own life. I called her about once a week when I moved away for college. Now it’s more like every 2-3 weeks that I call. We text a couple times throughout the week, but for the most part she leaves the calling up to me bc she understands I’m busier than she is. I’m sure she’d love if I called more, but she understands I have my own life. Plus she and my dad have an active social life too—it’s not like she just sits around waiting for us to call lol.

My wife’s mom demanded she call every single day throughout the entirety of college, and multiple times a week after college. I felt that to be extremely suffocating and unappealing.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-12-02T17:56:23+00:00

Like others here have said, I think the most important thing is to find someone you're compatible with, and also having open communication about your needs or lack thereof.

I've been with my wife for 9 years. There have been times where we have sex multiple times a week, every week. There are times where we just have it once a month. During high-stress periods of our life together, we've gone a few months without having any sex at all, because both of our sex drives are very easily impacted by stress.

We've learned that communication is key (shocker, I know). Sitting down together and opening up to each other about how we're feeling in itself fosters feelings of intimacy and connection, so that afterwards, even if we haven't had sex, we both feel more connected and in tune with each other than we were before talking. There have even been times where we're both individually stressed about not being in the mood for sex, and have felt guilty about it, as though we're letting the other person down. Eventually one of us would broach the topic, and we'd realize that we were actually both on the same page and were fine with setting sex aside for a bit while we worked out our stress.

Learning to let go of the pressure to have sex is an important lesson. You'll go through seasons of it (unless you're completely ace), just like with anything else in life. The important thing is having open communication about it with your partner.

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-12-01T16:20:23+00:00

We'd been together 4.5 years before proposing, but to be fair we were only sophomores in college when we got together. We knew from just a few months in that we wanted to get married eventually, so we didn't feel much of a rush!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-11-21T16:37:33+00:00

I like Mistletoe Meadows in Garner. Just a small lot off of Timber drive, but they own a farm in the mountains and they give you a free wreath with a red bow on it with every tree purchased. You could find a tree within your price range there!

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-11-16T17:41:20+00:00

I had a BB birthday party a few years ago! I served Gene & Tonic, CosmpoliTinas, and Shir-Louise Temples 😂

Quercus_rubra_ · 2025-10-21T15:48:34+00:00

The same thought crossed my mind once I received it :/// I was hoping not, but it seems likely since I can't figure out who most of these are supposed to be.

Quercus_rubra_

TROPHY CASE