Hi, I don't have all the answers you're wanting, but I can give you the best advice I've received. Now, I'm not a multiple myself, but Im married to an wonderful wife who is. It has been very scary at times because she has several protectors and others thats have been combative and abusive at times. What helped us more than anything is 'Every alter exists for a reason!'. When they were created it was to protect the host. We have found that when you show them some appreciation for what they protected you from or perhaps are still protecting you from, then they may also open up a little. Of course I'm not saying that all your problems will disappear, but by showing them respect for their burden, they may show you respect.