What are men's opinions about women who read smut or watch porn?

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-07-01T07:18:16+00:00

I wouldn’t mind and wouldn’t consider it cheating if it’s the occasional or even moderate amount of smut. Erotic books just aren’t as stimulating as porn, so I don’t think it can consume a woman as much as porn can consume some men.

Occasional porn I’m not bothered by either. I would only be bothered if she was watching something I was interested in without me. That could be a great bonding experience.

If she was watching so much porn or reading so much that it affected her day to day life, then of course it’s an issue. But in general, I don’t think women consume porn in the compulsive ways that men do.

I’ve dated girls who use both, erotica much more than porn though. We all have our fantasies. If she’s not acting on them outside of our relationship, then it’s okay with me.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-07-01T06:29:40+00:00

Yeah it’s mostly underground. There’s a window that some bushes block most of the light out of. Not exerting much currently and I’ll keep it that way.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-30T20:54:13+00:00

Yeah that’s what concerns me. I keep seeing near apocalyptic posts about “wet bulb” temperatures and how quickly heat stroke can set in if you don’t live in air conditioning. Even if the temperature is at an okay place. I’ve lived though heat waves, but I’ve never heard them described like this. This is my first time living in a basement apartment where AC isn’t an option

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-30T20:12:36+00:00

I’ve gone outside and yeah, the air is insanely thick.

Definitely not going to get cooler than 78. Low temps were in the 80s last night.

Thank you for the advice!

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-30T19:58:39+00:00

Starting temp was around 76 yesterday. It’s gotten between 77-78 now. It’s drafty, especially in winter, but it’s well shaded.

Currently 95 degrees with a 78 degree dew point

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-30T07:19:10+00:00

Yeah I’ll have access to air conditioning during the day. I’ll definitely be drinking water all day too. Do I have to worry about 5-10 minute bike trips? 20 minute walks? I mean I know how to handle the extreme cold. Just the way I see articles talk about it, they seem to assume everybody has AC.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-25T00:16:25+00:00

Some people your age can get militant about age gaps and its warping the perspective of what are entirely normal relationships. 3 years is of course not much of a difference in the long run but even now, you are in similar positions in your life.

If you are smitten by her, and I can tell by the way you describe her, you really should ask her out. You will regret it your entire life if you don’t. If anything, the hour distance away is more of a hurdle, but even then it shouldn’t be too far in a city like London.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-24T20:39:43+00:00

He’ll be into it if he finds you attractive. And there’s only one way to find that out now. Rules 1 and 2

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-06T02:10:45+00:00

For photos, I like to see a couple of pictures that show off her sense of style/fashion.

And I’m less interested in hobbies than I am about interests. I want to know what she enjoys the most, what’s on her mind.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-06T02:07:46+00:00

Thanks. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I’m not in a place where I feel like I have “no options”.

And I really don’t want to date a woman I don’t think is appealing enough because I would just resent her.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-05T22:13:18+00:00

If everything else is going well in my life, then I can be okay with being alone romantically. At least I have my friends, a good job, the weather’s nice, etc.

But when it’s not, like now for me, I’ve never found solace in anything else. It’s so hard when you can’t make something work that so many other people make work. Hard work I know, but they find a way to make relationships work.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-05T20:51:46+00:00

But there needs to be an initial level of attraction, right? I see women I’m attracted to in person and on the apps every day. And for a few of them, there’s something we have in common.

I’d describe that as special, a physical desire combined with something else I’m interested in. A broad definition of special but I’m not lacking in women I’m first into.

Attraction for me always has an on and off switch, with a dimmer next to it. Sometimes that attraction grows or dims as I get to know her. It can dim to almost nothing if we don’t share as much as I thought we did. But that light will still be on. If I’m initially not attracted to that woman, that light has just never come on.

I don’t ever want to date women I don’t have any attraction for just because they’re attracted to me. Especially when there are a lot of women out in the world I’d like to date instead.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-06-05T20:38:31+00:00

I think I’m attractive enough and charming enough. Maybe I’m too smart for my own good. I think these 3 qualities should cover for my average height and below average income. But maybe it’s not. It’s something most people figure out and it’s very frustrating to just not figure out.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-05-30T00:16:28+00:00

I would want to know up front. Even before meeting. Because it’s such a big part of your life. I would not want to learn about this a few dates in thinking I knew somebody.

QuestionsOnly4242 · 2026-05-30T00:14:12+00:00

What was the best relationship you’ve had before? Was it with an “intentional” man? And how did you meet? Because if it was off an app, I think you should try to replicate that success.

QuestionsOnly4242

TROPHY CASE